Input from preemie moms

Caroline - posted on 07/04/2012

My daughter was born 9 weeks premmie, weighed 3 pounds & 11 ounces, she had many challenges. She was not able to walk un-assisted, she needed support to sit up, drooled constantly, developmentally delayed, frequent body tremors, some seizure like episodes, kind of in a daze all the time, clenched left hand, choking on her food, speach problems, left side weakness etc. She was elevated on her toes when holding her to walk, she was splinted for a leg brace & they wanted to give her botox, but after researching botox and discovering how it’s made and there were no long term studies I decided against it. Her life was restricted & so was mine ...and it looked this way for the rest of her life ... & mine. I felt hopeless.

We were attending all sorts of treatments and therapies which cost a lot. A friend told me about some special wellness supplements from a particular company, she started taking them in her yogurt, after one week she was up walking un-assisted, it made an immense difference to her brain function, memory, balance, mood & cognition in a short space of time. She began to thrive. I was elated!

I am so grateful to the person that told me about this incredible technology. She now has a life now ….. and so do I. It’s now over 14 yrs later and she continues to take these special nutrients, she has attended normal public schools, she is almost 16, in a few weeks she begins driving lessons and has just started an after school casual job in a fast paced food takeaway. Now she is taller than me.
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Jamie - posted on 06/27/2011

If they think its easier to have a preemie they're crazy!I was having contractions for 4 days and ended having to have a c-section because he was breech. Then he had to stay in the hospital for 25 days.

Stephanie - posted on 06/26/2011

I don't have time to read all the posts, but I agree...it's because they're rude!!

Your body still goes through labour. You're still pushing a baby through a tiny little space. My entire labour was hard labour. It hit hard and fast, with contractions very close together the entire time. It was too fast for pain medication, and I was pushing already by the time they were able to give me a c-section (I was a scheduled c-section, but my son decided to come at 32 weeks instead). I think our labour is actually worse because it's so much more stressful. You know the baby is early, and you know there is a huge chance of problems or complications with the baby. Nothing about having a premie is easy, including the baby's long stay without you in the NICU (while you get shipping out after a couple of days).

Arrrrgggg...I hate it when people say a premie is easier. Interesting that no one with a premie ever says that.

Heather - posted on 05/23/2011

What I find annoying is this: I had to have an emergency C-section, or my twins or I would have died. That was 9 years ago, now I have family members joke about how I didn't give birth, I just let them put me to sleep and didn't do any work. That really upsets me! Having such a serious thing happen and it being regarded as a joke. It almost seems as if my "woman hood" is being unvalidated because I wasn't in hard labor for hours. Although I did have 1 child by "normal" child birth and with that I used an epidermal..:)

Carrie - posted on 05/21/2011

ive had two boys my oldest was full term at 7 lbs 10.5oz in labor for 12hrs n my youngest at 28 weeks gestation weighin only 3lbs havin contraction for 3 days. they were both delivered c-section n by far my oldest was the easiest of the 2. not only on my body pysically but emotionally as well my youngest had to b in the hospital for 3 months 3 counties away!

Brandy - posted on 05/15/2011

How would they know! My baby was 3lbs 11oz and after 3days of contractions 5 to 3min apart (they kept trying to stop labor so no meds!) I went in to labor. She was small but I still needed stitches! Size of the baby has nothing to do with the pain of contrations! and you are still pushing a baby out a very small hole! besides I dont understand why labor pain equals good mom?! If I would have had a choice I would have had her at 40 weeks with lots of pain meds! Less pain would be a better birth experince to me! Not sure why those ppl seem to think more pain is good?

Sheila - posted on 05/14/2011

Speaking as someone who went full term and birthed an 8 lb baby, I would never think having a preemie is easier. Delivering a baby is very traumatic on the body, regardless of size. I would think that having a preemie would be more difficult, especially after the delivery. Most women are lucky and get to bring their babies home when they are discharged, and while they are giving birth they aren't worried about "Are my babies lungs strong enough?" I can't imagine how hard it is to be at home while your child is in NICU.

Kylee - posted on 05/14/2011

I have had 2 and it was very hard walking out without them when you see these others with theirs taking them home the emotional strain we go threw to keep strong for them,

Angie - posted on 04/11/2011

I have had both, full term and preemie and I would rather deliver a full term, my 1st daughter was easy,(FT) D#2 preemie, induction and no pain meds 9 hrs of dealing with no meds, turned into c-section, No thanks full term anyday!

Cherish - posted on 02/25/2011

Having a preemie is NOT easy by any means. We are blessed if anything. I wouldn't know about contractions and labor, my son was delivered via emerg. c/s. Nothing about having a preemie is easy, not the emotional aspect, nothing!!! That is ignorant of someone to say. I'd like to see a mother who had a normal birth go through having their child in the NICU for who knows how long. Luckily my son was only there for 2 weeks, but he was taken directly after birth to a Children's Hospital 30 miles away from me. I would have snapped on someone if they had said that to me!!!

Aimee - posted on 02/24/2011

people have said that to me u will never know what its like to carry full term and u wont have to give birth to a big baby i think my were all good sizes for when i had them my daughter was born 8 weeks early weighted 4lb 3onc my second was born 5 weeks early and weighted 6lb my third was born 6 weeks early weighted 3lb 14onc my fourth was 6 weeks early and weighed 4lb 14onc and my fifth was 5/6 weeks and wighted 5lb 6onces so i do know what pain was all i had was gas and air take no notice what people say about only havin a small baby u still go into labour and have pains and they are all the same pains as any other mum full term and little babys are more painful 2 get out the midwife told me that as they try to turn inside u as they come out so they dont have to be born straight away hope this helped

Mandie - posted on 04/27/2010

i totally agree with u cassie they just dont understand it was really hard for when i started seeing mums and dads taking home there babies i cryed so much it hurt me as much as i was hurt when i thought i was going to lose cooper but im know glad to say that im proud of my lil man for being so strong and showing the world this is where he belongs. i love him more then words can express. god and the angels gave him to me and nobody will ever be able to take him from me he is a strong boy and deserves a good life just like every body elses bub

Cassie - posted on 04/26/2010

I always got so upset when someone would make the comment "i wish my babies were that small" like hell you do. People just don't understand that having a preemie doesn't mean 'you get time to rest while the baby is in the NICU' i don't know about everyone else but my healing time was twice as long because i was constantly driving back and forth to the hospital. i never got rest. Having a preemie is in no way easy.

Mandie - posted on 04/23/2010

omg i cant believe wat i was just reading to those parents who think having a premmie is easier then f@#$ u if u could go through wat any of us premmie parents have been through u would really know wat giving birth is all about u dont have to worry if ur child is going to make it through the night or the next day u never had to see ur baby coverd in wires and having many dif meds put through there tiny lil body or give them 1ml feed throuth a nasal tube have them in a humidy crib where u cant hold them for wks on end trust me until u experiance that then u tell me it was easy i can tell u it was not easy for 1 i had to live at the ronald mcdonald house for 6wks had no family for support my partner had to work we lived 2 hours away from the hosp i was always depressed i was only happy when i was at the hosp i was up at 6am over there by 7am didnt leave till 7pm coz i just didnt want to leave and then when i did all i did was cry so dont ever say we had it easy

Hilary - posted on 04/22/2010

Oh my gosh.. nothing about having a preemie is easy! Mine was 10 weeks early and weighed 4 pounds, 3 ounces, 17.5 inches long and you best believe I felt every bit of him coming out. I went through 62 hours of actual labor with him.. nothing easy about that!
Some people are sooo ignorant.. what's easy about having a baby early, what's easy about having your dreams of a perfect pregnancy crushed, what's easy about spending every waking moment in the NICU.. for months waiting for the day the doctors say you can take your baby home?? I could go on and on.. who every said that to you should learn when to shut their mouth!! Hearing that and when people tell me that my son's NICU experience "wasn't that bad" really P's me off.

CECELLIA - posted on 04/22/2010

I don't understand how anyone can say something crazy as "birthing a preemie is easier". Sure you are having a smaller child but, if your co-worker thought for a second then she would know that with having a smaller child comes many more complications. I have three children. My first two were born full term but my last little one was born @ 29 weeks weighing 2lbs. 10oz. I had to have natural child birth (which was painful! ) and my baby came out butt first! To see that struggle that she went through the first couple months of life, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I hope your baby is doing ok!!!

Brandy - posted on 04/22/2010

sorry that just really upsets me

Brandy - posted on 04/22/2010

i never went into labor i had an emergency c section after being hospitalized on bed rest for about 2wks the day they took her was the very day they moved me from icu into a regular room and an hour later they did an ultrasound and decided she had to be taken now, my family was an hour away and they werent even sure i was going to make it through the surgery let alone the baby, but i digress. my point is it was very traumatizing as im sure other moms of preemies would agree, and i would have given anything to go into labor and have my daughter with or without drugs and they get to see her and hold her instead of wondering where she was and did she make it and will i get to hold her before she might die and not even see her face until a month after she was born, people like that have no idea what they are talking about or they would never say such things, and its all i can do to keep from punching someone out when they say oh well you had it easy you didnt even give birth you had a c section! grrrr.

Liz - posted on 04/22/2010

Largely I think they dismiss having a preemie as easy because it is something that they do not understand. I had my b/g twins at 33 weeks 6 days, and it was the hardest time of my life watching them struggle, especally my son who was born with underdeveloped lungs. Now my sister also has a set of b twins who were good size babies and not at all preemies. She thinks she knows better and tries to deem my children as ' slow' especally my daughter who is very strong willed and stubborn.

It's something that not everyone goes through and those that don't just don't get it. No matter how many times you can explain it to a person that hasn't had a preterm child(ren), they'll never completely understand all the heartache and drama that comes with it, nor how much the child(ren) actually have to fight to stay in this world.

Being pregnant the second time around and having to experience the emergency c-section and all that I did when my twins were born ( now doing wonderful, and will be 2 in June), it makes me take every day as a gift. Hopefully I'll be able to make it to the due date of July 13th, with the planned c-section, but no one ever knows exactly how things will turn out.

Becky Jane - posted on 04/21/2010

I agree i have had a preemie myself she was only 6 weeks early and weighed in a 5lbs 3, i was told i must have an emergency c-section due to her being breech, although the doctors here cant be bothered to deliver a breech baby and would sooner cut you to ribbons than work. my baby wasnt in intensive care but she was on billy beds for jaundice and now is being given milk that gives her constipation!

Julie - posted on 04/21/2010

"Why is it that other people dismiss having a preemie as easy"?



... because they are RUDE. If you wanted to play rude, you could say "having your normal baby home right away was easy!".



I imagine your daughter was in the NICU for quite a while (mine was 124 days, born at 2lbs. 12 oz) ... what part of having a preemie is easy?



For what it's worth, I have a friend in medicine who says, overall, it is easier for women to birth chubby babies. The bigger/smoother body gives the uterus something to push on and it is less angular coming out.



For some reason, I think some women like to minimize our birthing experience ... These are the same women that make themselves feel better by putting others down. I try not to get rude. BUT, I swear, if my neighbor said ONE more time how lucky I was to have gotten out of "hard" labor, I really WOULD have socked her!!!