still findidng it hard

Alisa - posted on 03/11/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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hi when i was pregnant i developed really bad pre eclampsia and was told i wasnt allowed home from hospital as it was too dangerous.I stayed in hospital for 3 weeks visiting the labour ward 3 times when elle heart rate vanished but it always came back at last minuite.one morning a doctor finally decided its too dangerous to leave me any longer and gave me 2 hours notice i was going to theatre.i had my c section after they rescued my blood pressure from 122 (should be 68) and elle was born at 3lb two months early.she got taken to icu straight away and i wasnt allowed to see her for another 5 hours all i had was a photo.The doctors told me they had found a large blood clot behind the placenta so we both were very lucky. I finally got to hold my daughter the next day.but wasnt allowed off my ward as my pre eclampsia was still present.I finally got to take elle home after a month. We then later found out she needed heart surgery in leeds.she is all done and well now but i still seem to be very emotional and cry at the littlest things is this normal ???

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Cassandra - posted on 04/01/2009

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But be careful though - if things are getting on top of you can you do find youself crying a lot or over nothing, please talk to someone. You have had so much to deal with!

Cassandra - posted on 04/01/2009

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I'm so glad it's not just me! I find now that any story on the news or TV about little kiddies gets me everytime (I wasn't one of those people that cried before I had my daughter!)... because of what Moms of prems go through, I think we realise just how precious and fragile their little lives are, and what they had to go through to get home with us!

Schmoopy - posted on 03/28/2009

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Yes, you are normal!!! My daughter is a 6-year-old former 29 weeker, and I still talk about her birth story. It is by far the most traumatic thing that I've ever experienced.

I found that helping other preemie moms helped me to feel better - like I figured out a way to give daughter's prematurity purpose. Use your experiences to help parents going through the NICU or to knit preemie hats for your NICU... write articles for your local paper on the subject to educate people... answer questions of other scared preemie parents to help them feel better.

Time will heal your pain, but it will never disappear completely. Hang in there though - it'll get better.

Katishe - posted on 03/27/2009

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oh its the most normal thing in the world! i think its more the fact that you feel so grateful they are alive and the love that you have for them makes you so emotional! my 30 weeker is now 14 months and sometimes i just look at him and think " what would i have done without you?" its funny even sometimes smelling the hospital hand sanitiser brings all those memories back! i close my eyes and could swear it all happened just yesterday! hang in there luv xx

Juli - posted on 03/23/2009

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Oh, it's so normal! My 27 weeker (630 grams) is 17 and I STILL have the little emotional breakdowns. I don't think it ever goes away because you were forever changed and made to be ever mindful of the fragility of life. Your life could have changed in an instant and you never forget that. It's not depression, it's just a real-life awareness that "term" parents don't experience. It's ok, just roll with it...you do learn to live with it. You're not alone!

Julie - posted on 03/17/2009

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Hi my son was born at 25wks and spent 6mths in nicu and is now 4yrs old and if i think about what he went through i still get upset  This is totally "normal"  i just wish people who havent experienced the rollercoaster ride that is nicu would just keep their opinions to themselves they have no idea  Be easy on yourself youve had a rough ride



julie

Jennifer - posted on 03/15/2009

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im glad to hear this. my daughter was born at 32 weeks. She is now 6 months. Everyone says to me oh, you should be so overjoyed at the way things worked out. yes she if fine now. a little delayed but she will grow out of that by the time she is 2 , the dr expects. but after a 43 day stay in the NICU i still re live those days and feel it more now than when it was actually happening. i was so in the moment then and with travel constantly to and fro, i had no time to think of what was happening. glad to hear others still feel this way. as my husband and family dont seem to understand.
Props to all us Moms.

Melanie - posted on 03/13/2009

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I bet you have a little postpartum depression, which is no wonder due to your circumstances with your baby, even though it is over. My baby was two months early and in the NICU for one month. She didn't have surgery or anything but I was not a very happy new mother for the first few months. I was emotional and tired worried a lot. I hope you feel better!!

Stephanie - posted on 03/12/2009

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It's definitely normal! My son was 14 weeks early and spent 3 months in the NICU. I still get emotional about it and he's now 15 months old and doing amazing. When I think about the road he took to stay here with me and the fight that he put up I still get emotional. It takes time to heal but I think as Julie said above me, it's part of being a NICU mom

Brittany - posted on 03/11/2009

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Yes it's normal. Not many people can say that they have been down the road you have been.  I too had preeclampsia and my daughter is 11months and will soon be walking. Every baby is unique and special in their own way. Your daughter will have many more milestones for you to cry over and look forward to. Its natural.

Julie - posted on 03/11/2009

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Absolutely! Hardest part is, you can't predict what will trigger it. I really had to take time to collect myself before I went for my son's 1 year well-baby check up last week--I was just driving there and whoosh, I was back in the NICU and feeling it over again. Best part is they were happy tears b/c he is doing so well now no one can believe it. I think is is definately part of being a NICU mom.

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