I am so frustrated by my son crashing into things all the time

Tara - posted on 05/21/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I feel bad about saying this, but I am so frustrated by my son at times. He crashes into me all the time and lately I've felt pretty overwhelmed about this behavior. I woke up depressed today and wanted nothing to do with him. I'm a good mother, I play with and interact with both of my young boys, but lately I've wanted to shut myself into a room and scream. I ask my son questions and he is verbal, but often just perseverates when I ask him questions. I almost feel like I have the opposite sensory disorder. My husband, who thinks he suffered from SID as a child loves to be hugged and squeezed, while i'm more of a kisser. I feel crowded and overwhelmed but i don't want to push my baby away, so I just walk into another room and take a deep breath when he becomes too much for me to bear. I give him a sensory diet daily, but there are some days when he crashes into things more than others and this is when I become most withdrawn. I want to help him channel his energy and he is a sweet boy but I feel lost some days. Any advice?

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Shelley - posted on 04/19/2011

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I have been implimenting a sensory diet with my son & its really helping behavioral in general but I have to say I notice he really needs a ton of jumping, bouncing activities he loves bouncing on his ball to music or when he is in that jumping mood I have one of those big blow up bouncers it takes the entire living room up but its super safe to crash & jump in. I find deep presure really helps to so I roll the ball up & down his body give him strong pressure hugs, I roll him in this material (sasage roll) roll the ball over him. I also have this little sensory tent its his own little place to go into & basically regulate.

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Stephanie - posted on 06/07/2011

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we got my son a 4 ft trampoline for inside the house and it has made a world of difference. The OT at his school suggested that we allow him to jump off of it into piles of cushions, but we really dont have room for that to be a safe thing. Bouncy places are good if not too crowded... he got a little overwhelmed last time we went, but it was insane there!!! We also got a sit and spin as he enjoys spinning too. It takes a very long time for him to feel dizzy on that thing... I also often feel the need to scream, but the trampoline has helped significantly.

Sarah - posted on 04/04/2011

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amanda--I was lucky that my littlest guy only has tactile issues from about shoulder level up--my daughter used to give him a juicy kiss on the top of the head to make him scream.

About 4 years ago when my oldest was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum ( aspergers) a friend literally MADE me borrow her copy of the book. I flipped through it and got hooked. Since my younger son has some minor SPD issues, I used the last $50 of his early intervention funding to buy my books and refer back to them regularly to help friends with their kids

Amanda - posted on 04/04/2011

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While my DD is a seeker, she also has even strong tactical defenses. Addison would be okay with Hold Up The Wall. My husband actually plays a game with her and he holds pillows and has her push against them. She loves it! On the other hand, she would be scared to death of the washing machine shaking. It is hard to know what do day to day with her. I am also reading "The Out of Sync Child". It is a great book. I also love, "Raising a Sensory Smart Child."
We have just started OT. It is going okay until Addison is challenged with something she is afraid of or is uncomfortable with. Her tactical defenses kick in and we have lots of issues. Best of luck to all of you.

Sarah - posted on 04/04/2011

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all of you should see about reading a book called "the out of sync child" and the companion book "the out of sync child has fun" both by Carol Stock Kranowitz. She explains the different facets of SPD in a way that parents can really understand. In the companion book, she has activities grouped by sensory issue. she has 18 or so listed for proprioceptive sense--including one she calls Hold up the Wall ( you try to push on the wall to "hold it up") and another called "jiggling on the washer/dryer". I have actually used this one!! My younger son LOVES to sit on the washer when I have an uneven load in it and it starts to shake badly.

Robin - posted on 04/02/2011

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I agree with the OT suggestion. My son was going for 9 weeks until insurance decided they would not cover any of the claims. Both of my children have SPD and it is overwhelming and I totally get what you are saying. It drives me crazy to have my kids bumping into me, jumping on me, punching me, head butting me ALLLL day long.I try to be sensitive to their needs, but somedays it is too much. On thos days I generally aske a family member to take them for a couple of hours so I can get a much needed sanity break.

Amanda - posted on 03/24/2011

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I totally understand where you are coming from. My daughter is 3.5 and is constantly jumping on me, the couch, crashing into everything and the walls. We bought her a trampoline for her room, but she prefers to jump on me too. There are days that I want to scream or just cry. I love her so much and it aches me that she doesn't want me to kiss her and sometimes not even touch her. She constantly wants to be tickled. She will ask me to tickle her 50x/day. We go for our first OT session on Monday. I hoping to get some relief. It is so hard to explain this to anyone. No one can relate.

Sylvia - posted on 06/04/2010

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with two chilldren that suffer from sensory issues i strongly encouraged you to seek some OT. It has made a world of a difference for my son who was about to be kicked out of preschool for smashing into other children. Its called proprioceptive. heavy muscle work helps too like carrying books and water bottles. Hope this helps :)

Maureen - posted on 06/02/2010

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My daughter is very much like your son. He is trying to regulate his sensory system, and crashing gives him input he craves. Try to redirect this using suggestions from Armanda. I used to take my daughter to the "bouncy place," too and it was wonderful for her. I'd also suggest investing in a mini trampoline. Any input coming through the bottoms of the feet is great for kids like ours. There are lots of "tricks" we can use to help. You are NOT a bad mom, not at all. There are many days when I want to SCREAM. I have to keep remembering it is not my daughter's choice to be this way. Have you had your son evaluated by early intervention? If he is already 3, I'd like to suggest you have him evaluated by your school system. I'd encourage getting him involved with an Occupational Therapist. My daughter benefitted greatly from this (she's now just shy of 6). You need someone that knows what you are going through to vent to. You have us moms here, but it's also good to have an OT to walk you through raising a child like your son. Good Luck!

Armanda - posted on 05/27/2010

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Hi Tara. I'm new to the group and my son also loves crashing into things. I can't even lay down on the couch or bed for any reason without him jumping all over me. Sometimes he even crashes into the walls, furnature, and floors on purpose. He is constantly getting banged up and falling, some days I think he is going to give me a heart attack! I totally understand how you feel. Dealing with these kind of situations can be overwhelming, so its perfectly normal to want to get away for awhile. It's better for you to step away from him for a few minutes, as long as he is in a safe place. Have you tried bringing him to one of those inflatable bouncing places on days when the crashing is really bad? Then he could bounce and crash for hours in a safe environment. Sometimes we make a huge pile of blankets and pillows on the bed or floor, and my son just keeps jumping and crashing into them. Ball pits are great too. You can find them at toys-r-us, and the prices aren't to bad. Hope this helps. Let me know if you find something that works, and I'll try it too.

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