potty training

Shawna - posted on 07/19/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )

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Have any of you had problems w/potty training? My son will the 5 in November. If he has nothing on he will use the potty. If he has underwear on he pees them. I'm getting so frustrated with it. I don't know what to do anymore.

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Niki - posted on 02/25/2011

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Shawna... Sorry I forgot to get back to you about the book. It is "The Potty Journey.. Guide to Toilet Training Children with Special Needs, Including Autism and Related Disorders" Judith A. Coucouvanis

Irina - posted on 02/10/2011

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Hi, I have some advice but not sure if its useful.
Basically my son had a fear of leaving his poops in the potty beacuse they were part of him not the toilet. So there was this wierd notion, and he still has constipation issues because Gastrointerologist said he's holding them in instead of going when he needs to, so I have to constantly remind him.
Sorry back to the advice I bought a potty Dvd from Barnes&Noble" Elmo's Potty Time".

When I saw it I thought it had nothing to do with helping a child to go potty, but to my surprise it's as if it was made for a child with SPD. My son started at 2 1/2 but I tell you in my culture moms where saying its late your a bad mom and so forth. Basically what I'm trying to say a child with SPD can be very visual and they need a different approach. The dvd explains the process with song and commen sense in a way a child would understand.
Good luck, hope this helps.

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Mariah - posted on 11/15/2012

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Just wanted to give everyone tips on what I finally got to work with potty training my 3 year old son



We tried everything! Giving him a treat (like marshmellows), sticker charts, tattoos, going naked, everything. Nothing worked especially since it was a reward for going but no punishment for accidents.

Since Ben is obsessed with money we figured out to give him money as a reward for going; pennies, dimes, nickles for going pee (amount depends on how much he actually goes) and 4 quarters & jumbo marshmellow for poops. If he had an accident, all his money got taken away, & he would have to start all over. If he goes all day without accident he would get to pick out 3-5 pieces of candy (since halloween just passed). If he went a week without accidents he would get to take the money he earned & go buy a toy of his choice.

The first few days I would tell him to go every 20-30 minutes (after every episode of Go Diego or similar show) & make him do it all himself to get undressed to go potty. Now he usually goes on his own & I only have to tell him to go on occassion when he hasn't gone for about an hour, depending on his fluid intake.

If the weather warms up a little let him go bottomless outside in the backyard to let him pee standing up while aiming helps too; Roger taught him that.

Lastly... Ben has a teddy bear, "Teddy", that goes everywhere with Ben & he cannot sleep without. So we had him put teddy on a training potty in the bathroom "to go potty too" when he went potty. That helped a lot because Teddy was doing it too.

Jen - posted on 10/22/2012

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I'm new so hi. My son is 4 and was just diagnosed SPD. He has had a tough time with potty training. He took to peeing very quickly but would not poop on the potty. We also had to use bribery. We found these wooden cars he liked & he got one every time he'd poop in the toilet. It actually worked. But now he has an issue with pulling down his pants. He'll say he has to go & that he needs help. Even though he did it himself 20 minutes earlier. This morning he said he needed help. I put the seat up for him & told him what to do (sometimes he likes to be talked through the process). He said it was coming too fast & he needed help. I didn't know what to do. Was he being resistant to growing up (which he does do) or was this out of his control? I'm so new to this I don't know what to think anymore. My head is always spinning. My husband has his own anxiety issues & can't hold it together so he's no help. I'm feeling very alone. I don't want to turn into one of those moms who lets her child get away with anything just because he has "special needs" & we feel so guilty about it but I want to understand and help him. I'm so lost right now. I was glad to find this site to know I'm not alone. Thank you all for sharing your stories.

Mariah - posted on 10/11/2012

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My son turns 3 years old in January. He has SPD (Sensory Integration) & has a speech delay. He has OT & ST twice a week which seems to be helping a lot with all the other issues, but his potty training is going nowhere. He was fully potty trained back in May for about 3 weeks, no accidents even at night, would tell us every time when he needed to go, did well holding it for a bit, & was in big boy underwear (no diapers or pull ups) which surprised me because we had been on vacation traveling to visit family. The last 3 days we just rested at the house, just getting ready for the trip home, when he just plain STOPPED; I mean wouldn't do anything in the potty, refused to use it, would tell us "No", & "go" as soon as he got underwear on. So back to diapers. I was told to just stop trying and let it be for about a month & try again. So I did... A month later he still refused & would "go in his diaper. Someone gave me girl (princess) pull ups & said that if he soils himself to put him in them to discourage it (which he hated & would say "no, no princess" while trying to take them off); it worked for a little bit but he would just rip them off or get them dirty too after a while. I have tried everything... A set routine (every 15-30 minutes), sticker charts, treats (marshmellows, candy, gummies), toys, bribing him with things he enjoys (like bike rides), letting him go naked, underwear, standing him in the tub, etc.

His new thing he started doing is going pee in the potty a little bit & saying "done" when he clearly isn't. My husband calls me the "Potty Warden" as I will go in with a stern voice & tell him to finish, which sometimes works. He will say "go pee pee" or "go poo poo" & when you get him in there & on the potty he will say "NO!", then try to get down. When he poops or pee's in his diaper it doesn't seem to phase him at all, even the smell. We have even tried leaving him in it for a few minutes to see if it will bother him so he doesn't do it again, & it gets to the point that we can't take it (but not him) so we change him. Today, however, he said "go poo poo, go poo poo in potty" & stood where he was & started looking like he was pushing. I stopped him immediately & took him to the potty & said "that's right go poo poo in the potty like a big boy" while verbally bribing him with all kinds of treats if he went poo poo. He sat there for a bit & even pooped out 2 little turd balls & said "done" refusing to go anymore. I gave him special treats & even called Daddy to brag so he could tell him "me go moto-cycle ride". As soon as we hung up the phone he didn't give any warnings that he was going to poop & pooped a huge amount in his fresh diaper, didn't bother him at all to have it in there either. I've asked the OT & ST but they just give me all the same tips I'm already doing. Please help!!! If anyone has any experience in this same situation, I'd love to get some other pointers that may work.

Keri - posted on 10/09/2012

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i am having the same issue with my son right now. he is almost 6 years old and was just diagnosed with SPD. he was fully potty trained at age 2.5 but 2 years ago regressed to having to wear a pullup all the time. when he was in head start at first he did great but then he started having accidents almost daily both ways. by the end of the year he was back to using the potty but then once pre-k started he went right back to having accidents again but only pee while at school. now he is having them at least twice a week at school and its driving me crazy. he's in kindergarten now and sending him in a pull up just isn't a real option. i know i'm not much help but at least you are not alone

Niki - posted on 02/02/2011

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Yes we did too. We did the whole naked potty training. Then had to move to just pants/shirt/shorts instead of underwear with them. I have read that SPD kiddos can't tell the difference between underwear and diaper. It feels the same to them. So far this is working, except on the days when she is "just holding it together". Good luck. We got a really good book for potty training special needs kiddos but it is in her room right now (and she is sleeping). When she gets up I'll try to remember to post the name of the book.
~Niki

Dana - posted on 01/15/2011

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I relate to so many of these posts! My son will be 10 and he still soils himself and wets himself, although less periodically. At first we thought it was encopresis, but now we're pretty sure it's sensory processing disorder. We're having him diagnosed later this month. The biggest thing that has helped us is having him sit on a bidet daily and take stool softening medication. I am hopeful from reading these posts that I am on the right track with getting him diagnosed.

Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2011

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My daughter is 5 1/2 and we still have to remind her to go to the bathroom. She had BM issues and we have only recently stopped giving her the Miralax the doctor has had her on for the last two years. She would get so constipated that she would refuse to go to the bathroom all together. She still wears a pull up at night since she still wets the bed at night. However, she has now developed a fear of going to the bathroom by herself and flushing the toilet. I guess you jump over one hurdle just to get to the next one! Good luck.

Susan - posted on 11/05/2010

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We had problems potty training with our son as he is ADD and also has SPD... (at the time we did no know about these). He was diagnosed around age 9... He's now going to be 16 years old and his behavioral pediatrician recommended telling him when to go to the bathroom (for bowel movements). So, to this day, we tell him every other day (this is the schedule he got used to and we can't change it) that it's bathroom day and he grabs his Gameboy and sits on the toilet and does his business... If we don't tell him he doesn't go (he doesn't feel that "urge" to go because of the sensory issues).

Phoebe - posted on 10/09/2010

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All I can say is thank you all for posting. It is good to know we are not alone. My son is 4, will be 5 in Feb. He has really struggled with bm accidents. I thought he was finally getting it mastered. He had about three weeks of almost no accidents and had not had a big bm in his pants in months. As in he would start to go and catch himself and go to the potty.
He just started preschool. I thought it would be ok because it is only 2 hours three day a week. But it is clearly too much. He is having multiple accidents daily now. And back to big BMs in his pants. He doesn't have accidents at school yet but clearly the stress has thrown him off. It will be complicated if I try to pull him out of school because he loves it there. He will think I am punishing him for having accidents. Really I just want to help him succeed.

Linn - posted on 08/30/2010

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My son is 4 years old (has ASD and SPD) and is still not potty trained. He is still wearing pull ups. We can get him to occasionally pee in the potty, but no such luck with poop. We tried using bribery (M&M's) but that doesn't work. He thinks he should get them for just sitting on the potty. We tried buying underwear with Star Wars on them (his favorite thing), which he loved, but he still peed in them. I think a large portion of his problem is that he just doesn'y get it yet. So we are just trying to be patient. His OT wants us to not push him as his other sensory problems are still overwhelming to him.I'm hoping he'll be able to at least be trained for peeing by the time kindergarten starts next year but if not that's okay too.

Tami - posted on 08/25/2010

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Well we were doing so good and yesterday he pooped in his underwear. He seems to have difficulty sensing when he has to poop so we are trying to help him by telling him what signals his body might give him that he has to go. We just have to keep trying! My 7 yr old Granddaughter still has some stool accidents, and it took a long time for her to be fairly consistent with knowing when she had to go and making it on time. And she has SPD and Aspergers. It just takes time...

Julianna - posted on 08/25/2010

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Good luck. My son is going to be 10 in Jan and he doesn't wet himself, but doesn't always pee in the appropriate place either. My major problem is stooling. He'll do great for a while with going in the toilet, but still using a potty seat at home, he'll even go when we're out in public, but then other times he just decides to go in his pants. I just can't figure him out.

Tami - posted on 08/21/2010

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Finally at the age of 3 and a half my Grandson is in big boy underwear (he loves the Superhero ones) and he has pretty much consistently made it to the potty and we thought he would never poop in the potty and he recently started doing it. YAY! There is hope:O)

There have been a few accidents, especially poop ones, but he is finally really trying. Letting him pick out underwear that he likes helped, and a reward chart with weekly toy prizes helped too.

Good luck everyone!

Now if only we could get him to eat more of a variety of foods!

Carol - posted on 08/16/2010

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My daughter just turned 4 & we are still working on it. She is trained a preschool, but refuses at home. She starts a new OT program in the Fall, so I m hoping that they can help us get through to her.

Sandy - posted on 08/02/2010

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The underware suggestion is a good one too. One of my twins likes briefs and the one with autism like the boxer briefs. It took me a few time to find the underware he will wear.

Sandy - posted on 08/02/2010

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I have 6 year old twins with Autism and PDD-NOS. The one with Autism did not potty train until he started kindergarten, then it was also difficult because the flushing was too loud. So the school gave him headphones to muffle the noise, that helped. However, he is still in pull-ups for BM. He refuses and I am not going to push him. Before kindergarten, he would just hold it all day until he came home. He didn't like to pee at preschool or when he was in daycare for a short time. After I picked him up he would run straight to his room and pee in his pullup to the point it was falling off of him. Neither one of my boys would every go on the floor or in underware. I tried letting then run around naked and they would hold it for HOURS.

They key is to figure out what the sensory problem is and help resolve it. I also been told about one kid not being able to touch his feet on the ground and the seat being wobbley, so a foot stool worked.

It is difficult to get an explaination for younger kids because they dont understand, but investigate and figure out the sensory issue if you can.

Andrea - posted on 08/01/2010

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my son is 3.5 and struggling with potty training...our therapist said that our son is diffinately a schedule type of spd kid...that however isnt easy to d oin our household...so we are still struggling...good luck and any help would be great!!

User - posted on 07/28/2010

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My son WOULD NOT let me potty train him at age 4 and I was looking at losing my day care provider because of it. My pediatrician suggested bribery (yes, that's the word he used). So I made a big chart on the bathroom door & he put up stickers of stars whenever he went. Also he got 4 jellybeans (his favorite) every time he used the toilet. (4 jellybeans becasue he was 4 & also his sister got one so she wouldn't be jealous) It took a while but it worked - Good luck!!!

Kim - posted on 07/27/2010

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My son is still in pullups and he is almost 4 1/2 and not ready for potty training yet. Plus we just had a baby. Now he will sit on the toilet for like 10min but he never goes in the toilet. I am not worried about it cuz i have bigger issues unfortunately :( Have u tried boxer still underwear? Maybe the underwear is uncomfortable... just a thought!

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