11 year old daughter growing up to fast

Maritza - posted on 03/21/2017 ( 4 moms have responded )

2

0

1

Hello Moms,

This by far has been the hardest year of my life. I have one child, an 11 year old daughter. Despite the fact that she is sweet, caring and has outstanding grades, I have been having a hard time dealing with her being honest by doing things behind my back. Last night i seen messages from a social site she was not supposed to be on.... messages were about it all, from boys, to "loving" some boy she has never met, to sex, to weed... I have not spent the last 11 years of my life raising a little girl to turn out anything but better than me. When i read the messages there was no doubt in my mind that i was going to go up into her room and drag the crap out of her from the second level of my home into the middle of the street. I controlled myself, how I am unsure.

I came on this site with hopes that i am not the only one that is going through this, with hopes of guidance or advise from other moms. I grew up in a very strict home, and very naive. At age 11, i still played with barbies....... Its to a point where I am starting to question myself, is it me, did i miss something or am i doing something wrong?

4 Comments

View replies by

Ella - posted on 09/02/2017

7

0

0

I'm 10, and my view is
She shouldn't go on sites and say those things. However try to bring it up discretely. Like "I want to tell you about internet safety" but don't bring up that you found it. Say "I will be checking your history for things I don't like, and I will know something is going on if you cleared it". I find it unfair if my parents don't warn me first

Hope I helped :)

Amber - posted on 09/01/2017

29

0

1

all kids do this dont hurt her feelings to much eveyrone does it. Its mostly physical peer preasure. Dont make her unable to trsut you in future...

Becca - posted on 03/27/2017

17

0

0

You sound like a very caring mom. This is an opportunity for you to set some ground rules with your daughter. The world offers so many distractions to children, and parents have to be knowledgeable in what these distractions are. This article on social media (http://bit.ly/2nuLiUK) might be helpful even though your daughter is not a teen yet. Hang in there and keep looking out for her.

Ev - posted on 03/21/2017

8,147

7

919

To answer your last question about missing anything: No you did not. This generation seems to grow up a bit faster than we did and has all this technology we did not have and learn how to manipulate it and get around things to get to social web sites or other sites online that we as parents do not want them to go to.

At least you found this before she got to the point of posting inappropriate pictures of herself online. You need to take the tech from her now and only allow it when you are around. You can not depend totally on any type of parental controls to keep her safe. You are the best defense of that. You need to make rules about when she can use the tech, where she can use tech (preferred place in home is in public areas of house), how much time she gets, and where she is allowed online, and that you can look at all things she is doing and you have her passwords and user id to get into those things. If she can not agree to the rules, then she can not have the access.

Why did you allow her to have it on her own anyhow? You should have been watching this since you allowed her access. OH, and at her age she does not need a smart phone. Simple flip phone with no messaging or internet is good enough.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms