12 year old son worried about penis size

Jessica - posted on 11/09/2015 ( 34 moms have responded )

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Since my son was about 5 he has been doing this weird thing where he tugs on the skin of his flaccid penis, stretching it out a lot. He usually did this after showers and stuff but I got him to do it in privacy when he got older.

Well, he comes to me today telling me he's getting worried about the size of his penis. I tell him it's not a problem but he insists that I look at it. So I do and I'm shocked at what I see... His flaccid penis is over 6 inches long. When it's erect it reaches over 9 inches. He thinks this is way too big. He also thinks it's this size because of all the stretching he'd done over the years. Is this true? And will it continue to grow?

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Nicole - posted on 02/14/2017

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Thank you so much for posting this.

My son has a very similar problem. We go skinny dipping from time to time, and he's always been a bit bigger than his peers. But last time it was really shocking. It was so big my friend even commented on it. I decided to talk to him about it and see if he had a problem and he said erect it can reach up to 25 cm. Thats almost 10 inches! I told him not to worry about it but secretly I did research and I was very concerned. Average is about 15 cm, he is much bigger and is still only 13. Its comforting to know my son at least isnt alone with this problem.

Lucas - posted on 11/03/2016

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I'm a dad rather than a mom, but I might have some insights...

A few points:
(1) Over 9 inches is very big for an adult, and about 2-3x average for a 12 year old. However, measurement can be a problem. If that was just an estimate, then it's probably on the high side. A penis starts to look very big around the point where it is 1/10 of the person's height. So, on an average 12 year old, a 6 inch erect penis (which is just on the high side of average for an adult) will look very big. To be measured properly, the erect penis should be measured along the top, held parallel to the ground - not the side or bottom, which are unreliable - and typically overstate size. A 9 inch penis is likely in the top 1% of the adult population. Flaccid size is typically basically meaningless, as it varies considerably depending on simple things like temperature.
(2) Too big for what? 9 inches long is still in a functional range for sexual purposes for most women - though your son will have to learn to be gentle and use lots of lube.
(3) Evidence seems to indicate a mix of genetics and environmental conditions play roles. Genetics alone can introduce considerable variation even within a family. While the father's Y chromosome determines the presence of a penis, the mother's X chromosome has an impact on size - and there are 2 X chromosomes that the mother might contribute, so it might be that your son shares his large penis size with your great-great grandfather. Plus, add in random individual variation that occurs between generations. There is also now clinical evidence that stretching the penis CAN increase length over time. Studies on adult males using traction devices to stretch their penis showed gains of 1/2 - 1 inch over a 6 month period. Now, this was using the devices for extended periods each day. But, if you son was "stretch-and-hold"ing with sufficient force for extended periods over the course of 7 years, his stretching might have contributed to his size. (I suspect if he just stretched and immediately released it would have almost no impact. At least there is no evidence it would have an impact.) I've read of anecdotes where people claimed that 15-30 minutes of stretching by hand per day added about an inch over the course of 2-6 months. In one case, someone claimed that stretching using a device for about 8 hours a day increased his length by about 4.5 inches over the course of about 2 years. (Though these last ones are impossible to verify. He claims that he might have been able to add more, but his wife asked him to stop.)
(4) That said, it may be your son just entered puberty early, and got his adult penis fast, and happens to have a big one. Some people do. I reached my adult height around 13 years old (though my penis kept growing until I was about 19, I think). So, will it continue to grow? Maybe, maybe not. It's impossible to say.
(5) If your son is really worried about it, then there are two steps you should take: (1) take the boy to the doctor to have hormone levels checked. It may be something there is out of whack that medication could help. (2) Tell your son to stop the stretching. It's not hurting him, but if he's worried his penis is too big, then he shouldn't do something that might possibly make it bigger.
(6) It's possible your son isn't being 100% honest. Maybe he's just trying to get you to find out if his stretching is worth it - and he likes the size and might want more, rather than being genuinely worried about it. After all, from a fairly young age, boys care about their penis size, and believe bigger is better. In that case, let him know that 7" or so is what most women consider ideal (I've seen some polls say 6-7 is best, others 7-8). 9" is already well past that, so intentionally going for bigger is probably a bad idea, unless he just wants to make sure that no one is ever bigger than him in a locker room.

Jennifer - posted on 07/11/2017

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I totally understand your shock and concern. My 5yr old boy is also tremendously bigger than his peers, and always has been honestly! I to worry about him. It really is massive to be truthful.

Rita - posted on 01/18/2017

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I admit one of the reasons I'm on this website because I've been looking for information for my son who has the opposite problem as yours. The doctors noted he had a smaller than average penis after he was born but told us not to worry about it as it "would probably fix itself". I put it out of mind until my teen son told me he wanted to see a doctor about it.

I hate that doctors nowadays seem to just want to get your money as quick as possible and shuffle you out the door so they can see the next patient. My son was told so long as he could pass urine and achieve an erection then technically there was no issue. It was only through pressing that we learned that micropenis is sometimes caused by hormonal or chromosomal problems. We saw a specialist that told me that my son was "green across the board" and that my son's condition is "probably the result of genetics" even though my husband was normal size. My son hit puberty rather early so the doctor did an x-ray of my son's hand to determine how much longer he might have to grow. He told us my son was almost done with puberty and since my son's penis hasn't grown any larger thus far to accept it probably wasn't going to get any bigger.

I imagine since your son was so worried about his penis size a year ago he's probably the one that pestered you to see a doctor about it now. Has he started growing pubic hair? A few growing hairs is the first sign of puberty in some boys and given how concerned your son was I imagine him freaking out over the start of that. If he's farther along in puberty (has a moderate amount of hair and his testicles have started growing) he may have just undergone early puberty and has grown unevenly which is something I'm told can happen.

I'm not 100% convinced his size is due to his stretching but you MUST sit him down and tell him he needs to stop that if he's still doing it just in case. My friend insists your son is going to give himself erectile problems if he continues that especially at this stage of his life.

I talked to my nurse friend during the day about your son's problem and for any suggestions she might have. She said penis hypertrophy is rather rare but it can be caused by 'traumatism' where the penis is constricted too much. She said to find something that fits his package rather snug during the day to avoid embarrassment but when he returns home he should ditch it and wear something loose and consider sleeping nude at night too due to nocturnal erections so he can be unrestricted.

I hear jockstraps are going the way of the dodo as compression shorts are more common but I think those might be too tight for him. Still you should be able to find some, even if you have to look online, and I hear they have a variety of sizes for the 'pouch' which should help your son tremendously.

I hope it all works out for you and your son.

Jennifer - posted on 07/18/2017

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Honestly, he is tremendously bigger!! He has a small body which makes his "member" look even more huge.

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Jennifer - posted 4 days ago

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Kristen: Bless his heart! My son goes through the same kind of embarrassment. Mom's without boys like this cannot understand! Message me if you want. How old is your boy?

Kristen - posted on 07/25/2017

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I am so sorry to hear the problem is getting worse. My son has a very similar problem, causing him to quit the swim team due to a "freak" accident where his 8 inch penis slipped out of his speedo. I recommend large-pouched briefs and try to keep the penis in his underwear at all times so he can wear shorts without worrying. Do you have any other sons with a similar problem? Has the penis become oddly skinny due to the pulling? Does your son have a girlfriend? Please keep us updated. Make sure to tell your son he IS NOT alone. Thanks!

Jennifer - posted on 07/14/2017

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Just as girls obsess about how big their boobs will get some boys do about their penis. The question is large when soft or hard. How has he measured it against other males wh were hard?

Hannah - posted on 07/11/2017

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Jennifer, how much bigger is he? Is it just large for his body size?

Lucas - posted on 05/13/2017

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I would recommend begging your son to stop jelqing and talk to a doctor about the foreskin problems. There are likely other options that won't result in even more growth. There may be options for stretching just the foreskin without running into enlargement problems as a side effect.

This also furthers my concern that your son isn't being honest about his "concern". He seems to have gotten confirmation that what he is doing is making himself bigger, and is making excuses to continue to do it. If so, I doubt there is much that can be done if he isn't convinced that his penis is actually more than big enough.

Jessica - posted on 04/25/2017

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Yes he is. The doctor warned us about this, saying that puberty might cause him to grow even more. I'm nt sure what the doctor can do about his foreskin. Right now he's handling it on his own with the stretching.

Daeman999 - posted on 04/24/2017

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So he's actively still getting bigger? A half inch since January is a lot... have you gone to the doctor again, or about whatever foreskin issue he's having?

Jessica - posted on 04/23/2017

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My son is currently 13 and in the early stages of puberty. Although the doctor recommended he stop jelqing, he had to do it to try to stretch his foreskin as it was becoming too tight. Whats scary is that hes still growing. Yesterday he measured t eleven and a half inches.

Ann - posted on 04/13/2017

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I'm not sure how old your son is but his penis is huge for any age. I'm not entirely sure but I think my son has the opposite problem.

Daeman999 - posted on 03/16/2017

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Wow, definitely sounds like he's having quite the issue. Any updates on whether he's continued to grow? If it gets a lot larger than 11" he could have some major issues going down the road.

Rita - posted on 02/10/2017

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Luke, it would be nice to get a man's opinion on having the opposite problem. I hope Jessica doesn't mind having this here in her thread. I don't mean to pry, but how is your son handling being poorly endowed and how are you helping him cope with his problem? I'm a single mother and there aren't any male figures in my son's life he's comfortable talking to about such an embarrassing problem.

My son measures barely above an inch when erect, so he's not a marginal micropenis case. He's been moping and depressed about this more often than not. He's convinced that he'll never get a girlfriend or a wife because he's so small and he fears being mocked if he's seen naked. I know a man's genitals is a big ego thing but I don't know how to help him. I've tried telling him that not all women are attracted to large penises but I just can't seem to get through to him.

Luke - posted on 02/04/2017

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If any anonymous post likers want to chat let me know I guess you would have to sign in but I don't mind sharing thoughts.

Luke - posted on 02/04/2017

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11" that is way large. Not only way bigger than me but my son has the opposite problem he is really tiny.

Jessica - posted on 01/27/2017

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I've seen that story actually. The boy had some problem that blocked blood in his penis and caused it to swell. My son doesn't have any issues like that, he just has a very big penis. It's inconvenient but at least it's "healthy" according to our pediatrician. Also the problem with that boy's penis was that it was very thick. My son's problem is length. They'd have to literally chop part of it off, and I don't think neither him nor I want that.

Lucas - posted on 01/24/2017

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Jessica - Thank you for the update. I'm sorry to hear about the growing worries. One thing that may or may not be a source of comfort: in 2015, there was a case where an older teen (I think 17 years old) had a "penis reduction surgery", as he had started running into some very practical issues. So, if you son's penis size moves from just being a point of anxiety to causing practical problems, there may be surgical options available.

Rita - I'm sorry to hear about your son's bad experiences related to his concerns. A few things to keep in mind: (1) The various elements of puberty don't always align in time. It's not unusual for men to experience penile growth into their early to mid 20s - while it is very rare for height to keep increasing that late. (2) There is evidence that there are nonsurgical techniques (like the stretching and jelqing described here) may actually work to increase penis size. As with anything, there are risks involved. But, those can be lessened by simply being patient. It's largely for this reason that those that advocate these techniques say that people should wait until they're adults to start them - less chance of trying to overdo it and hurting yourself. And, the - admittedly mostly unscientific - evidence I've seen suggests that age doesn't seem to make much difference for effectiveness. All to say: nature may not be done with your son yet - and even if it is, that doesn't mean that he HAS to just learn to live with it.

Jessica - posted on 01/18/2017

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Yeah my son pestered me to bring him to the doctor about it when he noticed it was still growing. Thankfully our doctor was cooperative, although she said that other than extreme size there really wasn't anything "technically wrong" with my son. She still recommends we keep track of his growth, both penis and everything else, to make sure he doesn't have a bigger hormone problem. I'm sorry your doctor didn't help you fast enough.

He has hit puberty and is growing pubic hair. So he was freaking out that his penis might grow even bigger. It's really up to time to see how big he gets. Hopefully it slows down at least so he can manage it better. Our doctor didn't mention that stretching could hurt him although she did recommend he stops. I'll definitely make sure he does.

The whole thing about him sleeping naked also sounds good. I give him his space, so he would still have his privacy. But he did mention that morning erections really hurt because they would put pressure on his pants. Thanks again for all the advice! And I hope your son is well too.

Jessica - posted on 01/18/2017

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He doesn't seem to have many bad erectile problems yet. Although he said he does get weaker erections so it could be a slight problem. But he definitely doesnt have erectile dysfunction.

I'm 100% positive he's that big. I was in the room with our doctor when she measured him. He's somewhat tall for his age, but it still looked massive on him. Definitely big and not normal.

I actually haven't thought of the idea of jockstraps. I will definitely give them a try and see how he feels with them.

Rita - posted on 01/18/2017

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ELEVEN INCHES!? What! I guess I've heard of gigantomastia but I didn't know males had an equivalent condition. I've heard from a nurse friend that sometimes bigger penises have weaker erections and are more prone to erectile dysfunction - did your doctor say anything about that? Does he have any other problems with his penis? That size is going to give him troubles later in life for sure especially in relationships with women.

Are you sure he's really that big? Did his doctor tell you how big he was or did he? I know guys like to exaggerate. I don't mean to sound crude but unless you've actually seen it that big, I'd find that hard to believe.

Assuming that's real, I'm not sure why he wouldn't fit into a normal pair of underwear. Well, tighty whiteys might be too small to contain him, but surely larger underwear would hold him fine, right? If that doesn't work you should consider a jockstrap but you're probably going to have to help him find one that fits.

Jessica - posted on 01/17/2017

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Oh I've tried.... He doesn't fit in most of them... I'm just dreading the day I get a call from school telling me he exposed himself..

Jessica - posted on 01/16/2017

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Well, its been over a year since I posted this, and the situation isn't much better. My son claims he stopped the stretching, but I'm not sure if I believe him. I took him to the doctor and she measured him at a little over 11 inches erect. The doctor said the way he stretched his penis over the years was actually a technique called "jelqing" which is supposed to lengthen the penis. She said although its effects are unproven its very possible that since he did it from such a young age that his body was "malleable" and caused him to have such a big penis. Now she's saying that since puberty is setting in, it's going to grow more. Nobody other than us and the doctor knows about this, but its getting very hard to hide. I don't even feel comfortable with him wearing shorts in public because it tends to slip out. How do I keep my son from embarassing himself in public?

Jessica - posted on 11/10/2015

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His father is average sized. He insists that his stretching excercises caused his abnormal length, but I'm not sure

Luke - posted on 11/09/2015

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I doubt it has anything to do with the stretching. I did that as a boy and messed with mine all the time and I ended up only 4.5 erect.. he just sounds really blessed. Is his dad big? My son is 13 and seems to be taking after me so..

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