12 year old son worried about penis size

Jessica - posted on 11/09/2015 ( 66 moms have responded )

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Since my son was about 5 he has been doing this weird thing where he tugs on the skin of his flaccid penis, stretching it out a lot. He usually did this after showers and stuff but I got him to do it in privacy when he got older.

Well, he comes to me today telling me he's getting worried about the size of his penis. I tell him it's not a problem but he insists that I look at it. So I do and I'm shocked at what I see... His flaccid penis is over 6 inches long. When it's erect it reaches over 9 inches. He thinks this is way too big. He also thinks it's this size because of all the stretching he'd done over the years. Is this true? And will it continue to grow?

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Nicole - posted on 02/14/2017

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Thank you so much for posting this.

My son has a very similar problem. We go skinny dipping from time to time, and he's always been a bit bigger than his peers. But last time it was really shocking. It was so big my friend even commented on it. I decided to talk to him about it and see if he had a problem and he said erect it can reach up to 25 cm. Thats almost 10 inches! I told him not to worry about it but secretly I did research and I was very concerned. Average is about 15 cm, he is much bigger and is still only 13. Its comforting to know my son at least isnt alone with this problem.

Karen - posted on 10/01/2017

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I would also like to share pictures to know that my son is not alone

Jennifer - posted on 07/11/2017

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I totally understand your shock and concern. My 5yr old boy is also tremendously bigger than his peers, and always has been honestly! I to worry about him. It really is massive to be truthful.

[deleted account]

Maybe you need to help him masturbate more? I dunno. I don't see anything wrong with that. I'll bet he'd love to cum on your awesome rack, Becky.

Lucas - posted on 11/03/2016

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I'm a dad rather than a mom, but I might have some insights...

A few points:
(1) Over 9 inches is very big for an adult, and about 2-3x average for a 12 year old. However, measurement can be a problem. If that was just an estimate, then it's probably on the high side. A penis starts to look very big around the point where it is 1/10 of the person's height. So, on an average 12 year old, a 6 inch erect penis (which is just on the high side of average for an adult) will look very big. To be measured properly, the erect penis should be measured along the top, held parallel to the ground - not the side or bottom, which are unreliable - and typically overstate size. A 9 inch penis is likely in the top 1% of the adult population. Flaccid size is typically basically meaningless, as it varies considerably depending on simple things like temperature.
(2) Too big for what? 9 inches long is still in a functional range for sexual purposes for most women - though your son will have to learn to be gentle and use lots of lube.
(3) Evidence seems to indicate a mix of genetics and environmental conditions play roles. Genetics alone can introduce considerable variation even within a family. While the father's Y chromosome determines the presence of a penis, the mother's X chromosome has an impact on size - and there are 2 X chromosomes that the mother might contribute, so it might be that your son shares his large penis size with your great-great grandfather. Plus, add in random individual variation that occurs between generations. There is also now clinical evidence that stretching the penis CAN increase length over time. Studies on adult males using traction devices to stretch their penis showed gains of 1/2 - 1 inch over a 6 month period. Now, this was using the devices for extended periods each day. But, if you son was "stretch-and-hold"ing with sufficient force for extended periods over the course of 7 years, his stretching might have contributed to his size. (I suspect if he just stretched and immediately released it would have almost no impact. At least there is no evidence it would have an impact.) I've read of anecdotes where people claimed that 15-30 minutes of stretching by hand per day added about an inch over the course of 2-6 months. In one case, someone claimed that stretching using a device for about 8 hours a day increased his length by about 4.5 inches over the course of about 2 years. (Though these last ones are impossible to verify. He claims that he might have been able to add more, but his wife asked him to stop.)
(4) That said, it may be your son just entered puberty early, and got his adult penis fast, and happens to have a big one. Some people do. I reached my adult height around 13 years old (though my penis kept growing until I was about 19, I think). So, will it continue to grow? Maybe, maybe not. It's impossible to say.
(5) If your son is really worried about it, then there are two steps you should take: (1) take the boy to the doctor to have hormone levels checked. It may be something there is out of whack that medication could help. (2) Tell your son to stop the stretching. It's not hurting him, but if he's worried his penis is too big, then he shouldn't do something that might possibly make it bigger.
(6) It's possible your son isn't being 100% honest. Maybe he's just trying to get you to find out if his stretching is worth it - and he likes the size and might want more, rather than being genuinely worried about it. After all, from a fairly young age, boys care about their penis size, and believe bigger is better. In that case, let him know that 7" or so is what most women consider ideal (I've seen some polls say 6-7 is best, others 7-8). 9" is already well past that, so intentionally going for bigger is probably a bad idea, unless he just wants to make sure that no one is ever bigger than him in a locker room.

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Pamela - posted on 12/09/2017

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If anyone wanted to speak privately, feel free to message me. My son is only 9yo so I am still learning and coping with his growing, but it is always helpful to speak with others about it and I figure some may prefer to do so privately.

Lizy - posted on 12/08/2017

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Laura: i know the feeling,i tought i was all alone in the world with that problem,thank god i have found that site!!!

Lizy - posted on 12/08/2017

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Pepper Jones : how old is he? did you asked to see a doctor? you can message me in private if you have questions...

Laura - posted on 11/11/2017

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Also, I think this is a much more common problem than folks realize. There really should be support for moms in this situation, so they can share advice on how to support their boys.

Laura - posted on 11/09/2017

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I have the same thing with my boy. It's been stressful, and encouraging to finally find parents sharing about this.

ZachKing - posted on 10/26/2017

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Title should be "mom's talk about their sons huge dicks and wish it wasn't illegality bang them"

Karen - posted on 10/18/2017

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Any parents who would like to talk about this and get some advice don't hesitate to ask, send a private message my way and I'll see if I can help. My son, as I said earlier in this thread, is very large himself, and I have done a lot of research on the topic. I am more happy to help others, and get a better understanding of other people's situations.

Michelle - posted on 10/13/2017

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Jasmine: taking photo's of a childs' genitals is illegal. It's called child pornography. It doesn't matter if it's your child or not.
No one needs to see "proof".

Jessica - posted on 10/10/2017

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@Jasmine you might want to delete those photos. It is illegal like Michelle said.

Lucas - posted on 10/04/2017

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Ah. I wouldn't worry about the autofellatio. I think it's mostly uncommon because few guys have the necessary combination of flexibility and size to make it possible. I've seen surveys suggesting that most guys would if they could, at least once. Your son just happens to fall into the small group for whom it is possible. So, I wouldn't worry about it.

Becky - posted on 10/03/2017

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Hi Lucas,

1 I think the original diagnosis was wrong, since he was large, but he's growing as well.

2. He is not currently being treated

3. It's nothing illegal or life threatening... I just think he might be using his mouth on his penis....

4. As far as reduction goes, that will be up to my child ultimately (and when he's old enough). For now I'm just trying to help him however I can.

Lucas - posted on 10/03/2017

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Becky,
I'm sorry for your son's struggle. My thoughts, for what they're worth:
1) the research I've seen suggests that CAH tends to lead to large penises in children, but has a slight negative effect on adult penis size. All to say: the Dr might be wrong. There may not be much more growing to do.
2) Is your son being treated for CAH at all?
3) I'm really curious what you mean by other things... No need to share, but if they're illegal or high risk, you should probably talk to him. Teen boys aren't known for thinking through all the consequences.
4) In the event that your son's penis size causes sexual problems in adulthood, there is now precedent for penis reduction surgery. Naturally, this decision should be delayed for quite a while.

Becky - posted on 10/03/2017

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He's 13 and lately he's been masturbating pretty much whenever he can. I find quite a mess when I go to clean his room (socks literally filled) I think he's been doing... other things too. as far as when he's not doing that he's been taking to wrapping an ace bandage around it to hold it against his leg. He's been getting scared at the size and constantly is picked on.

Becky - posted on 10/03/2017

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So, I was about to start my own thread when I found this one here. New to all of this but my son is going through the same thing, if not more extreme. When my son was 8 he was diagnosed with a condition called Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia. He was already pretty large to begin with (just over 6 inches flaccid) but has since grown quite a bit since. He's at the age where just about anything gives him a boner and sometimes you can see the outline of it either pushing near the collar of his shirt or bulging obscenely past his knee (depending on which way he's got it pointed). I worry because the Dr says he's still got a ways to grow and he's absolutely massive. The rest of him is fairly skinny and far less developed, he just has this massive thing that's starting to make horses jealous... Help!

Michelle - posted on 10/03/2017

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Just letting you know that if you share photo's of your son's penises you can be charged with distributing child pornography!!!
Respect your children and DON'T photograph their genitals and definitely don't send it to a complete stranger on the internet.

Karen - posted on 10/02/2017

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@Jasmine This sounds like a good idea, allow us as parents to both know we aren't alone and to help us deal with our special situations.

Karen - posted on 10/01/2017

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Finally a place where I find other parents with similar problems, my son is 14 and his penis has always been too large, he is currently 11 inches long and quite thick. He has no discernable bend, and the doctor says he will continue to grow. It's nice to know I'm not alone

[deleted account]

Hi all update on my sons problem it seems that he got better and have no problem peeing or when he ejaculate looks like it solved it self but the deit was great help he learned to take care of him self so no worries changing the sheets every day and its a sign of being healthy i gave him condoms to dont make a mess i hope he understood what i ment lol

Jasmine - posted on 09/30/2017

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@Kristen Do you have pictures of it? My son is 12 and he is also really big. I'm really concerned, it would be great if we can share pictures so then we know we are not alone.

Jasmine - posted on 09/30/2017

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hmm...my son is 12, his penis is also really big for his age. It is about 20 cm long. We took him to the doctor and the doctor says he's okay. Does anyone have pictures of their son's penis and we can share and see if our sons have the same problem?

Lucas - posted on 09/23/2017

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Lizy,
To me the bigger question is how he feels about it. Right now, it seems like you're doing all the right things from a physical/medical perspective. He's going to a specialist. They've diagnosed the problem. I assume that they've either recommended that no treatment is necessary (meaning the problem isn't worth trying to fix) or that you're doing whatever treatment was recommended.

Does it bother him? If not, then there's no reason it should bother you. If it does bother him, then you need to be reassuring and, if it's an extreme case, get him some counseling.

Jessica - posted on 09/21/2017

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Jenny, it is unnaturally long. He admits to doing a thing called jelqing which stretches out the penis and could cause permanent growth.

Jenny - posted on 09/19/2017

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Is it unnaturally big, meaning that it didn't come naturally and he did something to make it bigger?If it is then i would have a talk to him about this. But i would not stress over it too much.

Lizy - posted on 09/14/2017

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finally,a place with people who live same problem my son has,i tough i was going crazy!!!...my son is 16 and i noticed he had a abnormaly big penis since he was nine,but at the time,i was not giving too much attention...until i had no choice but to see a urologist who follow him for last 3 yrs...its supposed to be because he produce too much testosterone...i do not know what to think of all this,should i stop stressing?

Jessica - posted on 09/05/2017

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I'm not a doctor so I have no clue. My only guess is that he damaged it somehow.

[deleted account]

Ok so the doctor is worg what do u sugest what can i do i already took him to 3 doctors iwill take him to anotherone but do u have any idea what is worng?

Jessica - posted on 09/03/2017

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No it's not something I've experienced with my son. As I said at erect length he is over a foot and a half inch and that is not long enough to cause problems like that for him

[deleted account]

Yes thats true also i noticed his length mybe cuz him longer to ejaculate and since he needs to ptoduce more semen to fill the long tubes the quantity of the semen is alot more then normal and it take longer is this something that you experieneced with you son ?

Jessica - posted on 09/02/2017

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Yes because not being able to pee is definitely not a problem caused by length.

[deleted account]

Thank u jessica well he cant masturebate dont know how to ihope he learn soon then we seewhats rong already took him to 3 doctors

Jessica - posted on 09/01/2017

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Simbabina, 22cm is long but shouldnt be causing those kinds of problems. My son is 32 cm long in comparison and never had trouble peeing or ejaculating. You should get that problem checked out.

Lisa - posted on 09/01/2017

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How did you stimulate him to get semi hard? And did you receive my message if so message me back!

[deleted account]

Hewas erect but not very hard still soft but not stiff and since its so long had to put it on atable to do it

Lisa - posted on 09/01/2017

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Anytime!! I love that I'm not alone in this problem , That is really big for his age how did you get the measurements? I'd say your sons blockage would be helped in the long run with the massage you could administer, My son and I have been thinking about doing it to fix his bend but are still unsure about it, but if your willing to try it with me and share results that would be nice let me know

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