13 Year Old Daughter Refuses to See or Talk to Me

Keely - posted on 02/26/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am the mom of a 13 year old daughter and her father and I have been divorced/seperated for 4 1/2 years. Over the past 6 months, she has definitely developed the "attitude" I feared and is barely passing the 7th grade. Her father and I have 50/50 custody. Recently, she and I got in an arguement when she rolled her eyes at me, informed me of her "D" grades, and slammed the door in my face (all in one morning). Now, her father has informed me that she doesn't want to talk to me and doesn't want to come to my home, yet her brothers will. The ONLY thing that I can possibly imagine for her to be this upset was that I told her I was gonna start cracking down on her behavior, influences, and school. Naturally, her father thinks he is playing Super Hero by allowing her to act this way. HELP!!! I also firmly believe that her new step-mother is encouraging this entire thing. In the past, I have received numerous nasty, hateful emails from the new step-mom and now my daughter is practically quoting them and even using the same "slang" language she used.

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Debra - posted on 03/23/2014

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Dear Keely, Could I kindly ask if your daughter speaks to you now as I"m going through exactly the same issue. Kind regards, D

Brandy - posted on 03/05/2013

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I want to start off by saying that you are not alone and I am sorry you are having to go through this. When it comes to teenagers, your right their attitudes start and it is hard to get that under control. As for her new profound "language", her new step-mom could be trying to be "the friend" and not following through with discipline at their home. Many times when one parent tries to be the "friend" it makes the parent that is doing the righ thing look like the bad person. It makes it very difficult to be the parent that is doing the right thing and being the parent that the children need. I wouls try talking with your daughter, does she have a cell phone that you kow the number too?? Try texting her with the simple words "I love you" and go from there. Do not bend and break for her, but maybe a compromise in the situation could open the door for her to feel that she can talk with you again. Best of luck and GOD bless

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