13 year old girl stays in her room

Christa - posted on 08/07/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My 13 year old girl stays in her room all day. She says she is fine and not depressed but it worries me. Does anyone else have this situation?

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Jeanne - posted on 08/10/2013

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Whether she is depressed or not, my opinion is staying in her room for extended days and hours is not healthy. I think all 12-14 yr olds need their time alone but when I feel my daughter has been excluding herself from the family or just me,
I say things to encourage participation such as "I am going to the store, will you go with me?" Versus "do you want to go to the store with me?" Or I am watching a movie, will you watch it with me? Almost every time I get a "sure" or "ok" but when I ask if she wants to do something I get ,"no, I'm fine."

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Lyn - posted on 09/15/2013

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hi, my daughter is 15 and the same way she never wants to leave the house. the only time she does is to go to concerts, she no longer goes to the mall or any stores and im also worried. i ask her whats wrong and she says the same thing your daughter says, my daughter was never like this untill last year when she started home school.

Tiana - posted on 09/14/2013

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i do.... my daughter sits in her room on her iPhone her windows 8 laptop and watches TV all day and i cant seem to get her to come out that often

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My 15 year old step daughter is the same, either she spends all weekend at her friends house or when she is home she hides out in her room addicted to her ipad social media crap. She is the one always talking about family time but anything we suggest isn't good enough and she would rather spend time with her friends so we have come to deal with it and see it as normal teen girl behaviour. She also has counciling once a week and has been On anti depressive tablets for a few months now. We have been told its a thing teens do good luck

Eve - posted on 08/11/2013

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My 13-yr-old's the same way. I tried encouraging her to make plans to hang out with her friends and offer to drive them to the movies, mall, etc. but she gets even more depressed that nothing ever pans out... So, I just make it a point to set aside one day each week as "family day." We made a list of activities and we take turns choosing an activity from the list each week. It could be a whole day event like going to an amusement park, or something simple like doing each other's nails...as long as it gets her out isolation...

Enna - posted on 08/10/2013

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Is she typically a shy kid? I was and I stayed in my room a lot. Once I got into high school I did a lot more and it was a lot better. I was not depressed. Does she cry a lot or say mean things about herself? My daughter is depressed, she's 13. The big signs we had are the ones listed about and she was having trouble in school. Not participating, not getting her homework done. She would say she hates herself and so does everyone else, which was completely not true; she has a ton of friends, She started seeing a counselor, and she is much better now.

Connie - posted on 08/10/2013

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When teens are depresessed they isolate. Also, teens want to be alone more. I would suggest picking times with your daughter to talk about stuff or family times, so she isn't spending all her time alone. If you ask what time works for her, she may be more inclined to go along with it. Teens are learning independence and that is important, but they also still need their parents - sometimes more than ever. The two of you make the time and do it regularly. More teens are suffering from major depression these days, and they need to know they are not alone. They don't always admit to feeling depressed either. I learned the hard way.

Enna - posted on 08/07/2013

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Yeah, my daughter did that too, until she got an Xbox now she never leaves the living room! I'm not saying video games are the solution, but maybe you would want to try finding something that you guys could do that would draw her out of her room some of the time. As long as she's acting normally in other ways I wouldn't worry about it too much. It's just another phase.

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