13 year old son diagnosed with leukemia...?

Sam - posted on 11/08/2011

Sorry guys i haven't been updating

Sam - posted on 11/01/2011

Yeah Pm it to me =)

Shawnn - posted on 11/01/2011

Ignore the ex. You're being not being "mean". You are taking care of yourself and your kids. He figured you wouldn't take him up so quickly on the divorce, I bet, and now he's backpedaling. So, tell him you aren't being mean, you are protecting yourself.

Hey, do you want my email address? We could continue this back and forth easier, I watch that more than I do this forum :)

Sam - posted on 10/31/2011

And then my soon to be ex texted me while i was out and asked me why i was being so mean =/

Sam - posted on 10/31/2011

Yeah =/

Shawnn - posted on 10/31/2011

did you go?

Sam - posted on 10/28/2011

i am two hours away

Shawnn - posted on 10/28/2011

How far away are you going to be?

Sam - posted on 10/28/2011

I do not know though keep asking myself if i should really leave him alone like this feel like i am abandoning him!

Sam - posted on 10/28/2011

Its been iffy between the two of them to be honest its been better then before since i talked to em though.

Shawnn - posted on 10/28/2011

I'm sure it will be fine, Sam. Go have fun, let your girlfriends take some of your burden for awhile! Vent about your hubby, cry about your son, gripe about sis and gf, but most of all, find something to laugh at! Your heart will be better for it!

Give J hugs from me, and tell sis that she doesn't need to be the ultimate "boss of everyone". Have she and gf been doing alright together?

Sam - posted on 10/28/2011

I know and i am planning on going tonight just hope sis and his girlfriend just really scared and hope sis and gf don't fight in front of him and everything

Shawnn - posted on 10/28/2011

I'm really glad the last round went better! I can definitely understand your concern about going out, it feels like you are abandoning him. But if sis stays, it should be ok. Especially if she knows that she can call you if something comes up. I think you really need to have a girls night, though.

Sam - posted on 10/28/2011

Yeah i have a few friends that want to get togeather for a girls night out. and his last round went really well he is doing better but i am still scared about leaving him home alone and everything.

Shawnn - posted on 10/28/2011

good girl! I honestly don't know what i'd have done if my hubby had pulled something like that when ours was in the hospital.

Other than him, do you have any adult support that you could get together with? I'm thinking have sis stay with J, and you have a girls night. Only if J's doing better, tho. How'd his last round go?

Sam - posted on 10/28/2011

I kind of lost my temper with him and told him fine and to get out of our lives because he isn't helping J and j has basically been avoiding him.

Shawnn - posted on 10/28/2011

Well, you know what, Sam, I'd be tempted to tell him "fine", and go for as much spousal support you can get. From what it sounds like, he is NOT the type of guy who can handle a tough situation, and he wants to run. Well, his attitude is definitely NOT helping you, or J. Ask your kids what they think. If hubby's been this way for a while, the kids have noticed, and maybe would feel ok with that decision. Just make sure J understands that it's NOT because of his medical problem! Or, rather, make DAD explain why he's such an inconsiderate person, to take off running at the first sign of trouble.

Men like that absolutely irritate me. (well it's more than irritate, but this is a polite forum :-) ) You are struggling to do the best you can for your boy, you are needing his support, not his self centered behavior.

The family counselors will tell you that this is dad's way of dealing with the situation. No, it's his way of avoiding the situation. Still in my prayers, and sending you hugs...

Sam - posted on 10/28/2011

Sorry i haven't really updated this in awhile. Been so busy lately and on top of it all my husband asked for a divorce....

Sam - posted on 10/25/2011

Thanks Just bored out of my mind and feel useless today =(

Shawnn - posted on 10/25/2011

I'd bet he'll be home sooner this time, Sam :-)

Sam - posted on 10/25/2011

Thanks and i know i just rather not have him stay in the hospital for 3-6 days like last time.

Shawnn - posted on 10/25/2011

Honestly, I'm not sure they get any better, but I know that he'll start getting into a routine about them. I do hope it goes well. I'm thinking about you and J.

Sam - posted on 10/25/2011

Kind of Son in chemo treatment atm hoping everything goes better then last time.

Shawnn - posted on 10/25/2011

Well, I'm glad everything went well. Hubby's seem to be the most stubborn people sometimes...You still hanging in there?

Sam - posted on 10/24/2011

Weekend went better then i thought it would even with his girlfriend spending the night actually went perfect for the most part hubby was the only one causing problems.

Sam - posted on 10/23/2011

Today suck =/

Sam - posted on 10/22/2011

Well so far so good this weekend hoping it stays this relaxing and perfect lol

Shawnn - posted on 10/21/2011

LOL...hey now, don't cause any more medical stuff here! I'm getting a good feeling about it, though. I think you did the right thing in this case

Sam - posted on 10/21/2011

I told him and he about had a heart attack he didn't think i would let him.

Shawnn - posted on 10/21/2011

Sounds like a plan to me, Sam. Go for it

Sam - posted on 10/21/2011

I was thinking about doing that as well so they can't really be behind any closed doors and be doing something they shouldn't be! And yeah i don't wan't him freaking out over it again and i know he really needs her so its just feel like i need to do this for him! Plus with them being in the living room they have the TV and his laptop (which has wifi) and the kitchen is right there as well!

Shawnn - posted on 10/21/2011

Well, I would be to, to be quite honest. And I've read articles that say you shouldn't give someone in this situation EVERYTHING they ask for. But the other side of that would be how will it affect him if you don't let her come over?

Maybe set up the living room as the "camp out area"...kind of like when they were younger and wanted to have friends over? Maybe?

Sam - posted on 10/21/2011

Her parents are ok with it they just want the relationship to work really badly. And yeah i am just weary about it to be honest.

Shawnn - posted on 10/21/2011

Well, like you said, she can't get pregnant twice...What do her parents think?

boy that's tough! I'm like you, normally i'd say no. But, she is pregnant, so obviously that changes a few things.

Ok, I'd say, as long as her parents are ok with it, then go ahead. But tell them that out of respect for your house, no sleeping together. Snuggling is one thing, but nothing further. I'm thinking he'll be pretty tired anyway, and probably just wants someone that isn't mom or sis to cuddle with.

Sam - posted on 10/20/2011

Shawnn i need some advice hon. Son wants his girlfriend to stay the night with him this weekend when they let him go tomorrow night. But i am not sure about it i mean at the same time not like she can get pregnant again just not sure its a good idea but i am just not sure ya know!

Sam - posted on 10/20/2011

I can't sleep too worried about my baby boy =(

Sam - posted on 10/20/2011

Thanks hun just hopping these spells are kept to a minimum

Shawnn - posted on 10/20/2011

Ok, he's working through things. that's good :-) Not saying you won't have more of these "spells", but at least he's getting able to work through it, and get to the point where he can cry and release.

Now if your hubby would just get to that point. I asked mine, and he said he didn't know HOW he'd react if our kids were in J's spot. He did say that he knew that his reaction would be way different from mine, though. He also said to let you know he's praying for all of you, and especially for your hubby to see how things would be better if you and he were on the same page.

Hugs, Shawnn

Sam - posted on 10/20/2011

He is doing alright his gf went and saw him even tho i told her no and it turned out better then i thought it would he oppend up to her and just basically jumped in her arms and started crying.

Shawnn - posted on 10/20/2011

Well, they can be infuriating at times...I understand that completely! I think a cruise is a good idea. Especially in your area, you don't have to travel far to start the trip! How's J? Is he feeling any more in balance today?

Sam - posted on 10/19/2011

Thinking about Taking the whole family and the Gf on a Cruise for christmas i think that would be better then a stupid car he can't even drive hubby makes me so mad lately not even kidding.

Shawnn - posted on 10/19/2011

Ok, well tell hubby that 30K can be much better spent on other things. What is he going to do with a car? Let the gf drive it? Do you think it's because Dad can't think of any other way to be helpful? I know men deal with things differently...So differently...

I figured you'd checked on the make a wish thing. Too bad, but if hubby's willing to spend 30K on a car...I'd say the Bahamas look good this time of year...right?

Man, I wish I had something other than hang in there, and I'm praying for you to say! You need a hug. Hubby needs a reality check, and your son just needs love...even tho he says he doesn't want it right now...

Will hubby go out with you for a couple of hours, just the 2 of you, so you can get on the same page? Maybe he's just as frustrated, but being a man, won't admit it?

Sam - posted on 10/19/2011

No he doesn't i checked with them already. Husbands being an ass and saying we need to buy him a 30k car even tho he can't drive SMH.

Shawnn - posted on 10/19/2011

He'll come back! I know, it's hard. Especially with the meds. And you have to keep reminding yourself that a lot of his behavior is the meds! (and, believe me, I know how hard it is to deal with meds)

Hey, does he qualify for the make a wish foundation? A thought...maybe if he could pick something that he REALLY wanted to do, and they can make it happen, it may help his outlook.

At any rate, hang in there! my heart is breaking for you, but I'm here whenever you need it

Sam - posted on 10/19/2011

I just want my son back =(.

Shawnn - posted on 10/19/2011

That's a lot of the problem, Sam, that's what makes it tough for you!

Sam - posted on 10/19/2011

I understand and i told the hospital last night and he is so hopped up on so many different meds plus chemo

Shawnn - posted on 10/19/2011

I understand, hon! And illness can make even the most biddable kid manipulative. I wasn't trying to say you're doing anything wrong. But, if he doesn't want company, don't give him any. Plus, if you mention the suicide concerns to the hospital, they'll do a suicide watch. Just don't push it with him. If he says he doesn't want to see you, then tell him you'll be there when he's ready.

Sam - posted on 10/19/2011

Maybe but my son hasn't ever really been manipulative. He is being a brat but at the same time i have serious concerns because i am worried he is suicidal.

Shawnn - posted on 10/19/2011

Well, then give him a dose of that medicine! If he's acting the brat, and says he doesn't want to see you, then don't go!

I think you may be getting played by the boy, Sam. He may have realized that you will bend over backwards and completely incapacitate yourself to deal with his illness, and he's pushing. Tell him you'll be ready to talk when he is, and that you will respect his wishes to be left alone. Get sis and gf on the same page. If he's wanting someone to feel sorry for him, he's going about it the wrong way, and he's acting like a brat. I've seen this in kids with larger medical problems, and i think it's a way of coping. He can't control his medical problem right now, but he has some "control" over behavior, and he's manipulating what he can. Tell the hospital you want a suicide watch, but that you will not be present yourself until he calms down and wants to see you.