13 yr old posting marijuana related comments of facebook...What to do?

Heather - posted on 06/12/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My I just found marijuana related subject on my 13yr old step son's facebook wall. I plan to punish him for making those comments on facebook, ie. restrict him from fb for 2 weeks, but my main concern is if he is smoking pot or not?
I do not want to make him feel like I don't trust him, but he has complete freedom at him mom's house. I don't know what kind of trouble he could be getting himself into at her house. He runs the neighborhood over there and is always hanging out at friend's houses. At my house, he is always supervised, so I know he is not getting into trouble here. He is at our house every other weekend and on Wednesdays. His grades have gotten progressively worse this year and he has been sent to the principal's office over 3 times for making "dumb" comments regarding girls. I do not know how to confront him on the latest facebook comments. I am thinking about doing a random drug test. Do you think this is necessary? Any help would be great. We told his mother about his posts, but she is unreceptive to punishing him or doing anything about it for that matter.- concerned step-mom
On a side note: I have been in his life for 8 years now, so I don't think it's a rebellion about his parent's divorce.

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Angie - posted on 06/12/2012

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I think it's important that parents keep an active role in their children's life, especially during these critical teenage years. Kudo's to you for keeping tabs on his facebook ~ I wish more parents did...they could learn a lot! Our kids are passing us up quickly in the technology field & it's important we keep up the best we can.

I think in order for you to be effective, if you can't get mom on board, at least get dad involved and address as a unified front, sit down & say we have a problem based on his posts, and YES, I would drug test him because you love him & concerned about his well-being; if he balks, then you have your answer and will need to address that, but if he tests clean, I would have him remove the posts and explain to him the consequences of putting that stuff out there ie: parents distrusting him, employers using it for hiring purposes, possibly other family members (grandmas, grandpas) seeing what he's portraying. I think sometimes these young teenagers are just trying to be "cool" & don't understand completely how some unwise choices social networking can reflect on them. My son at 18 had the attitude it's my facebook; I'll post what I want...at 19 his attitude is being careful what he posts & who tags him in what pics because he's facebook friends with younger cousins & grandparents/aunts/uncles & now his mother now that he has a new attitude about it..lol...best of luck to you :)

Kristin - posted on 06/12/2012

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I found out my son smoked pot when he was 15 and it got out of hand, so I drug tested him and went through all the motions. He was smioking pot and we took measure to ensure it didnt get out of hand, We took him to the police station and made him listen to al the effecxt is had and where it would get him in life. He did quit smoking it and I am thankful it was just pot and nothing harder. You need to get his mother on board with discipline or file to have him in your custody full time. Unfortunately, peer pressure is huge and drugs are accessible and if you and his parents dont crack donw and do something it will get progressively worse. What scarerd me is the facy that pot is sometimes laced with other drugs to make it more addictive and when we drug tested my son there were traces of other drugs and he swore he only smoked pot. Now i randomly check his room and bag and if I find any trace of him doing any drug he knows the consequences (no more job, friends, computer, phone, etc.) Hope this helps good luck

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