15 yr. old daughter and dealing with an ex husband

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

My ex husband and I have been divorced for about 5 years and I have had the worst time dealing with my daughter about this. At first she lived with her dad but now she lives with me and she has the worst attitude sometimes.
She thinks that if she doesnt get what she wants with me then she can run to her daddy and he will let her have it. She also likes to use the "I'll just move back in with my daddy" ploy and I have had enough.
I have told her that she isn't leaving and I am not baout to let her mess up her future by bouncing back and forth between schools. She isn't happy that I told her this and her dad doesnt help the situation at all. He has done nothing but try to talk her into moving back with him since the day she left his house.

Her stepmother and stepsisters are no help either. They do the same as my ex and have made it almost impossible for me to discipline my daughter when she acts up because she uses that little ploy thinking that she will get her way.
I dont know what to do anymore and I am losing my mind.
If anyone has any good advice please help.

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[deleted account]

Thanks. At least I know I am not alone. It is very hard. I already missed out on 2 and half years of her life b/c she lived with him and he never kept me updated as to what was going on in her life. That was torture on me adn I am not about to let his new wife have the privelage of geting to see MY daughter get her license and go to her first real prom and all that. She already got to be there with her when she first got her monthly visitor and they never called me to tell me. I had to find out about it on her visit with me 2 weeks after it had happened. I dont wanna be mean but I am about to get that way b/c I have had it. Another problem is that I am always at work when he comes to pick her up and my new husband has to deal with him. My hubby is great and he refuses to get in the middle but I wish he would just tell my ex to cool it be/c he is causeing so many problems. I do appreciate your advice and I will try and be consistent.

Crystal - posted on 01/31/2010

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This might not help much and I am far from mother of the year but my daughter (13)bounced back and forth between me and my ex when we first split up when she didnt get her way. The last time she came back, I told her that was it just like u told your daughter. Thats all u can do is keep it consistant. U would be surprised at how quick she will realize u mean it. My other daughter (14) gets mad and says she going call him and live with him too. When shes mouthy like that, she loses phone privilages. By the time she settles down and gets the phone back she has already changed her mind. Now, dont get me wrong, in the beginning I gave them their way so they wouldnt want to live with them. So all I could do was put on a "front" that I wasnt scared and didnt care if they wanted to live with him and hated me because they still wasnt moving anywhere. May I add that I am far from being the most consistant parent. LOL

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