Shannon - posted on 02/08/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )
My 15 yr. old has informed me she has had sex..I didn't react the way I thought I would. I am still taking it in as it was only 2 days ago she told me. My bigger challenge is he 19, in a band, and has left for L,A. to pursue jhis dreams. I'm all for chasing your dreams, I have met him before and had no wierd feelings towards him. He was nice, polite, very passionate about his music, and engaged with my other kids very positively. The problem is he is 19 and I explained to my daughter the legal implications of the situation-just dating, I had my concerns for my daughter wears her heart on her sleeve. After he had left, and gone for the next 6 months, I come to find they had sex way before I had ever realized anything emotionally serious was happening. She said they were careful-" I'm not stupid mom" she says. I feel her choice to have sex with a legal adult was stupid and he is even more stupid for having it with a minor! I haven't told her stepdad yet for fear of what he will say to me..crazy I know, but I am sure I will get the "I told you so" thrown in my face.
I know this isn't about me but I am so mad at myself for not seeing the signs of this and now I have a daughter who has made a rediculous mistake like I did. I am numb, hurt, pissed, mostly towards me, my husband knows there is something wrong but I can't bring myself to tell him. I won't keep it a secret. How do I deal with this? After thinking about it constantly my instinct is to tell her no more contact with him. He's in L.A. and she has school to worry about. HOw do I get her to focus on the here and now and to give up this rock n roll fantasy she has? No she is not pregnant although she has asked to be on the pill. I know pressing charges is possible but I don't feel like that would help her-scare the crap out of him,yes but I know that if I say no more contact, that will bring on a war with her that will ruin whatever relationship we have. I'm so stuck on this. I need honest feedback. Anyone else experience this?
Thank you Moms.