16 year old boy does not know that there is a biological father

DC - posted on 05/08/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am hoping for some feedback especially from those that have a boy around 16 or so. In a nutshell a father has desired to introduce himself into their biological son's life and wants to do it in the best possible way. Biological dad was not put on the boy's birth certificate rather another man's so the boy is not aware bio dad exist. This is not an adoption situation. The situation is complicated but bio dad recently located the whereabouts of the boy. Here's the reason for this post/question.

Is 16 too late for a bio dad and this boy?
What's the likely reaction to something like this for a boy this age? How does a bio dad go about this?
Do boys this age care about something like this?

Anyone that has experience something similar or have any suggestions or leasons learned I would appreciate feedback.

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DC - posted on 05/09/2012

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Thank you Louise. There is no reason to believe that the son would have reason to ask these questions because to the best of bio dad's knowledge the son does not know the truth. Son believes someone else is father. This is not my son so to address the issues of knowing the son's emotional capabilities and/or asking if he is interested in meeting bio dad is not an option from this position. I too didn't know my father until 13 and was lied to about the whole situation so I agree with you in that children deserve to know their biological parent.

Louise - posted on 05/09/2012

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16 is a very emotional age for your son. He has a lot going on in his life already, what with puberty and school pressures. You are the only one who knows him well enough to decide whether he could cope with this or not. Has he never asked who his father is? He must of wondered. Does your son believe somebody else is his father? If he does then this is a different matter and what you are about to tell him will rock his world! Growing up thinking you know who your parents are and who you are is a secure feeling. Growing up being lied to is another, not knowing your roots is a major blow. If he is aware of his situation then simply ask your son if he wants to meet his biological father it is up to him. Give him time to think it over and if he does let him if he does not then that is your answer. Believe me he will want to meet him one day. I have just got in touch with my biological father after 31 years, although I had a happy childhood with my step father who I love dearly, I still needed to know and be in contact with my dad.