16 year old problems

Yvonne - posted on 12/17/2008

I too have experienced my 16 year old daughter running away about 3 weeks ago - I have taken her to counselling and things are much better - the counselling has let her see she has to be more open with us to avoid little issues become big ones! Seems to be the age that daughters run away if I read the other posts my 2 boys never went through this but had other issues. Hopefully soon be over and they will all turn out responsible adults and have kids of their own!

Dawn - posted on 12/16/2008

I thank you all for your kind words and advice! I have been working very closely with the police and the courts. I have filed a CHINS petition because I know that I can no longer control my daughter. I had reported her as a runaway and they picked her up 2 days later at her girlfriends house. When the cop brought her home all hell broke lose! I love my daughter very much but she does not seem to realize what she is doing. It is like she turned into a totally different kid. Now we are at a stand still until court in January. I just keep documenting and contacting her school and the social worker so my butt remains covered!! Again, thank you all for your kind and helpful words.. Have a blessed holiday!!

Renee - posted on 12/16/2008

I had the same problem with my 16 year old step daughter. She had my husband and I at our wits end. But now over 10 years later she seems to have made it through her rebellous time as is working and happy and has a nice place to live. So i'm sure it's just a phase and when she is ready to come out of it she will. But for now try "Tough Love"!! Make sure she knows you love her and you will be there for her when she is ready to come out of her rebellious time. I agree with Jessica --- if she is not home every night at curfew contact the police. As a matter of fact, I was told (by the police) if I didn't contact them and my daughter/son was not home by curfew I would be found as a negligent parent. Which didn't seem right to me but who can argue with the law??? They know me by name!!!

Sabina - posted on 12/15/2008

I agree call her in as a runaway, take away her items...but more importantly find out what the root of the problem is and why she is responding in this manner. I would definitely get counseling!

Kim - posted on 12/07/2008

Dawn, my heart goes out to you both. My girls are 25, 17, and 15. My 25 year old was a step, but with me and her dad full time...she was the only one I had run away problems with and it was usually the grass being greener that she ran to, the grass never stayed green for long, but her dad and I finally put down some boundaries the last time she came back. With out too many details it's hard to say, but one thing that did have some effectiveness for us was a contract. No privileges what-so-ever until the contract was agreed upon. Once she knew where we stood and she had some set ways to express herself it helped a lot! My 17 year old has anxiety issues....she is on medication now, but when she wasn't I felt much like you say, nothing I could do would even get through...maybe she needs to be evaluated for anxiety, depression or some sort of chemical imbalance, I found out that it's quite common among teens.

Hope all this rambling helped even just to know I am thinking of you, been there in a sense and am wishing you all the best.

Cindy - posted on 12/07/2008

Dawn, my heart goes out to you. I experienced some of the same things with my daughter. She was in rehabs and programs for 3 years, she missed the high school experience. I have to say the rehabs nor the programs were truly effective. Can you get your daughter to counseling? Landmark Education has a teen program that's very effective.

The thing is, you need to find out why she's running away, what's she running away to?
Keeping the lines of communication open is key.
All the best,
Cindy

Jessica - posted on 12/07/2008

Have you tried calling the police & having them write a report every time she runs away?

How about posting Missing Child Poster all around town & places she hangs out?

You can remove her things from her room so that when she eventually comes home, she knows you mean business?

Have you guys tried getting professional help? Do you know why she is running away?

I'm just trying to offer food for thougt.

I wish you and your daughter the very best of luck.