16 year old son needs heart surgery but he is refusing....

Kristen - posted on 02/12/2012

He didn't have a choice in the matter as it was done for emergency purposes. But his girlfriend was able to talk him into going through with the Radiation and Chemo therapy.

Stephanie - posted on 02/11/2012

Seems to me he has a lot to live for. Tell him that fear stops some people from doing things that need to be done. I had a cancer scare a few years ago. I wasn't going to go through with my surgery either. Then I thought about what I would miss in life. I would miss seeing my chidren grow. I would never have the chance to see my grandchild. I wouldn't be able to smile at my partner in the morning or share that cup of coffe or that so long hug & kiss in the morning before we begin our day. All those little things are important. If he loves his family he will take that chance & go through with his surgery. Life is a gift. Live it well..We all have mountains to climb at different times in our life. It's how we take the first step that count's.

Kristen - posted on 02/10/2012

Thanks i honestly think he has turned suicidal on me. He doesn't care what happens.

Shawnn - posted on 02/10/2012

Wow, Kristen. Ok, remember that they have to give you low survival numbers, because they can't guarantee anything. But, if he's a normally healthy teen, his chances are better.



Get him referred to the closest oncology facility, or children's oncology center, and take advantage of any counseling, or group opportunities that you can. You and he are in my prayers for a swift therapy and rapid recovery.



Remember, if you need support, you can always holler on here. We may not be close, but we can give you some moral support and love.

Kristen - posted on 02/09/2012

There saying if he undergoes Chemo and radeation he will have about a 69% chance of surviving.

Angie - posted on 02/09/2012

just be his strength that's all you can do ~ no matter what you are up against, you will be there through it fighting every step of the way with him...and all us mamas know not much can stand a chance at protecting our kids...continuing to pray for you both..and make sure you count on family/friends...even this website.. for support, for the breakdowns, for the frustration, and most importantly for the continued push to keep going :)

Kristen - posted on 02/09/2012

Just trying to deal with it all and he is freaking out.

Sarah - posted on 02/09/2012

Oh Kristen, I am so sorry to hear that. I will pray for your son and your family. No one will be able to make this easier for you or take this worry and pain away, but please know that we as mothers will pray for the best. Hang in there.

Kristen - posted on 02/09/2012

It is Cancer.....

Shawnn - posted on 02/09/2012

Oh wow, Kristen! Praying for you both. Keep your head up!

Angie - posted on 02/09/2012

oh wow..prayers, prayers, and prayers your way...try to stay positive and strong..

Kristen - posted on 02/08/2012

Well he collapsed today at school and they had to do the surgery or they said it was going to kill him turns out the tumor was crushing his heart he still hasn't woken up or anything. Will find out tomorrow if it was cancerous or not.

Shawnn - posted on 02/08/2012

This is a hard one. However, while it is his body, he's still a minor (in the US, that is) and you are still responsible for his care. AND, if you live in a nanny state, you can be prosecuted for child neglect for letting him refuse the surgery.



My son, 17, has been through 3 surgeries in 2 weeks. Granted, not for the same thing, but surgery is surgery. Scary no matter what. He didn't want to do it, refused to go to the doctors initially. I didn't give him a choice. I'm his mother, I'm the one held responsible for his well being, and it would be ME in the witness seat trying to defend myself for letting a 6'4" 200 lb child make his own medical decisions.



With all the sympathy in the world, and all of the compassion in my heart, I'm telling you to set your boy down and tell him that he doesn't have a choice, and he needs to (pardon the expression) "man up". If he truly wants to "be here for his son" and "loves his girlfriend to death", then he should understand that part of that responsibility of being a parent to his son involves keeping himself healthy and alive to do so. Not sure where you're at, but I'd mention that you also have a responsibility, and you don't want to go to jail because he doesn't want to have surgery.



Mine was exactly the same, and to be quite honest, I had to get blunt. Quite blunt. I told him straight up " Son, if you do not do this, you WILL die within the week" There were no alternatives. His kidneys were at 10% function. He didn't have the choice to refuse.



I wish you the best, and will be praying for you both. Especially praying for it to be benign, whatever it is.

Kristen - posted on 02/07/2012

Maybe maybe not but if it is cancer then he surly won't be around for his kid.

Angie - posted on 02/07/2012

what a very tough position...it is absolutely his choice and sometimes that's the hardest thing to accept because we want to be the parent and just do it or make them. Keep talking to him and supporting whatever decision he makes...but definitely promote his options, short term and long term, put yourself in his shoes and understand how scared he is...he might need to reschedule until he can get emotionally prepared; right now he needs all the support he can get...what a scary thing to be going through..thoughts and prayers with your family.

Kristen - posted on 02/07/2012

He won't even go talk to the doctors.

Wendy - posted on 02/07/2012

Kristen so sorry you and your son have to go through this....at 16 my thoughts and prayers are with you.....Just keep on him. Tell him he can do this, and you will be there every step of the way, he is young and strong, stay positive, Get the whole familys help also for sure he needs support to get through this.... Good luck again he is young and strong have faith he will be playing with his son soon enough when this is over......

Mama3divas - posted on 02/06/2012

Praying for you and our son! Just support him through it. He'll make the right decision in his own time. It's a scary thing to go through but his odds are better with than without the surgery. He rationally knows that and will in all likelihood come back around to it - but he is overridden with irrational thoughts and emotions right now that makes the logic difficult to see.

Kristen - posted on 02/06/2012

I hope so just realy scared and worried.

Michelle - posted on 02/06/2012

I would get him back into the doctor and let them explain how routine the surgery is now a days maybe they can ease his fears