16 years old is hard, does it get harder?

Robin - posted on 10/01/2009

My son is 17 and it has gotten better because I use his car as leverage. He is not perfect by any means, but better than he was. He doesn't fight me as much anymore and the stupid things. All I have to say is do you want to ride the bus? He has rode it twice so far because of his grades and no doing chores. Always remember to stick to your guns, do what you say and mean what you say.



She is doing well in school...kudos for you mom! Good luck!

Cynthia - posted on 10/01/2009

you are so lucky, i have a 14yr old son and a 13yr old niece, and so I am dealing with it on both ends of the spectrum. Kids nowadays are so much more grown then when i grew up, but i do remember having open conversations with my mom, and taking the time to ask questions,and to not be quick to say "don't u dare" kids will get the answer from somewhere,most often from peers and usually they made it up or hurd it from another peer before.

Maria - posted on 09/30/2009

Monique, do you remember when you were 16? Were you tough to deal with? Now, imagine yourself in her shoes, other than the change in time, is there much difference? Have you changed over time?

Paula - posted on 09/30/2009

I have One daughter almost 20 and another Just turned 17....Trust me,IT Gets a Lil worse..There have been many times,I wish I could Knock their boyfriends Head off for breaking their hearts...I sit down and talk with my girls and I try to be Honest with them about everything,All I ask them In return is To do the same and Be respectful of others.I have to say that Our girls are good Kids...I think they all go through that stage where they Think that they 'Know it all' ,But Sometimes we have to take Step back and see how far they think their Knowledge will take them..Believe me,They will come back and ask for you advice or help..I am sure U are doing Great! Keep it up!

Trina - posted on 09/30/2009

16 is a trying age. It does get better though...Remember to keep the communication lines open, try not to be too judgmental and please please have THE TALK and have it often. It may be uncomfortable for you and your daughter but better she learn from home than outside...I have three teens 13,17,&19 two boys and a girl the girl is the oldest. By being open and nonjudgmental my children have a great trusting relationship and they talk to me about EVERYTHING (sometimes too much information) LOL but I wouldn't change it for the world. My daughter has made it to her second year at college and has matured so beautifully I am amazed at her progress she thanks me all the time for being there, listening and allowing her to make mistakes while making my expectations known and demanding respect...IT DOES GET BETTER!!!!;) i hope this helps....

Gillian - posted on 09/30/2009

you must b doin sumthin right if shes doin well at school, start to panic when she doesn't go at all. Things shud start to get better soon... i've got 3 girls aged 21, 19 & 17 and i had probs with them at that age but there all brill now... so don't worry it'll grt better soon.

Mary - posted on 09/30/2009

hi monique,



as long as you show your daughter that you love her and care for her you will get through these horrible teenage years. i have five myself ages ranging from 20 all the way to my youngest being 5.

we are also in the midst of another teenager and preteen or tween and both are girls. its not easy but we do tell the kids we love them and care for them. we also praise them on good behavior yet let them know when they have done something we don't like as they have broken our trust. all you can do is really work together. give them hugs and show them you care for your daughter. one day she'll want to share her life with you once she reaches her adulthood. she'll always need you.

my 20 years old still needs me and often tells me in her own way. everythign will turn out good is what i am saying. good moms raise good kids.:)

Lisa - posted on 09/30/2009

yes, as they grow older the harder to handle...just try to put yourself into their shoes and you'll cope up easily. its part of growing up and as long as they are doing good in school there's no problem with that.

Teresa - posted on 09/29/2009

My Daughter turns 18 in 3 weeks. And new challenges with every year. And all I can say is try to keep positive. And to Melody - if they are already boy crazy - forget it. You can tell them that all day but it will only make things worse. Don't condone bad behaviour but also accept who your child is and adjust.

Margaret - posted on 09/29/2009

I don't know about girls, but 16 was the worst year for all of our boys. I've heard from other moms that it was the same with their girls. It startes to get better after 10th grade or so. Hang in there! I know even the most difficult ones miss their mommies once they go to college!

Melody - posted on 09/29/2009

Hell yes, you haven't seen everything yet!!!!!

Melody - posted on 09/29/2009

She shouldn't be about boys right now she needs to wait until next year when she's almost done with school. She needs to stay focused on school. Boys take that away.

Jackie - posted on 09/29/2009

How do you handle the bad and disrespect you cant whip them it doese no good at this point grounding never seams to work they just revert back to the same ways after. Its hard expecaly when you do so much for them.

Jackie - posted on 09/29/2009

Quoting Monique:

16 years old is hard, does it get harder?

My daughter is turning 16 on thursday. Shes tuff to deal with. Very much into boys but doing well in school

My daughter is only fifteen and she is very hard to deal with. She is a good kid tells me things i didnt think she would but has a horrable attitude so bad that my husband made me choose between her and him and we moved out. No choose when it comes to you kids. Now my son is1 7and he has had his share of experiences but great attutde and work eithic. They are so different its hard to belive they are related.

Nicola - posted on 09/29/2009

my youngest is 16 yes it does get harder but the rewards also get better

Krysy - posted on 09/28/2009

i remember being 16 lol but at least shes doin good at skool..

Kerry - posted on 09/28/2009

I have a 20 yr old boy, and 2 girls 17 and 15 and it really depends on how you want to deal with them. If the boys aren't getting in the way of her grades them perhaps its not a battle to fight? Sometimes, I have learned, that you have to sit back a little and let them discover their own limits, as hard as it might seem. And you definitely need to figure out which battles are worth the fight. I went back to college at 33 and watched many freshman, away from home for the first time and no rules, get into a lot of trouble because of the lack of self discipline that they never developed because at home there were just rules to follow. Once the rules were gone they went wild with too much freedom. Staying up all night when they had classes in the morning so they missed the classes and getting involved with drinking because on a college campus it is very easy to get ahold of alcohol and drugs.



I have 4 rules for my kids and have a great relationship with them. They aren't allowed to lie, cheat, or steal and i demand respect from them....all the other stuff I decide on a daily basis depending on what it is. If it is going out at night then I decide on the time to be home based on where they are going....if its a party then they are home at midnight...a movie then after the movie is over.....If they decided they wanted to stay up all night and needed to be up at 8 am for something then I woke their tushes up and didn't care if they were tired...I just told them that it was their fault they stayed up and next time they will learn to be better prepared since they knew the schedule.



My 17 yr old is a dancer and many times we have had to get up early, 6 or 7am on weekends for competitions and after the first time staying up late on a friday left her very tired she learned to sleep when she needed to to get enough sleep for the next day. (the bedtime issue is just an example)



But if you daughter is driving, or will be driving soon, then you can use the car as leverage...but if she has never done anything to make you not trust her then you should show her you do trust in her decisions and if she ever does anything to lose your trust then you should come down on her then but as long as she is able to have self discipline then you should give her some room to make her own decisions. Remember in 2 years she is 18 and an adult and there is not magic switch that turns on at 18 making her good at making decisions for herself so giving a little at 16 will help her make better decisions at 18 and then at 21 and even if that means allowing her to make mistakes then sometimes you do have to back up and let her make those mistakes, as hard as it might be.

Steff - posted on 09/28/2009

16 year olds are actually easier that 15. My daughter took a correct turn at that age. Lucky me. Totally keep the communication open and try not to judge because things are soooo much different than when we were kids. I feel for them.

Gloria - posted on 09/28/2009

I don't know if it gets any easier I can only hope. My daughter turned 16 in July. She is alo boy crazy. And doing well in school. She also wants to drive, Has mood swings. One moment she is happy with me and the next upset with me. Or she misreads what I say. I just try to be patient and understanding. And take it one day at a time.

Deedee - posted on 09/27/2009

16 is hard... no doubt... let her know that she can come to you with anything! She is trying to find herself which is tough this day in age... the most common saying is my friends are allowed... talk to her, let her know you love her and you will make it through.. I now have a 20 year old in the Air Force, 18 year old in College, and a 16 year old in high school and takes one college course... my door is always open... they don't have to like what I have to say... but they do have to listen and we talk a lot out... it's not always easy... and I am the bad guy most of the time... the thing is I am always there and they know that.. I am their parent not their friend... and my children like it that way... they have plenty of friends, they need to be guided. and at the end of the day they know I love them and are proud of them:) Good luck

Kaye - posted on 09/27/2009

My daughter has just turned 17, and has changed sooo much in that year. When she was 16 I didn't really get on with her that well, she was moody and lazy and I felt like all she wanted me for was money or a lift in the car! Now she has left school and is in her 2nd year at college, she's like a different person, and has grown up alot too. So hang in there, try not to lecture too often, and always make yourself available for that odd girly day trip to the shops ;) It does get better.

Kaye x

Becki - posted on 09/27/2009

Quoting Carolyn:

Isn't that the truth. They know everything and we know nothing! I couldn't have said it better. I have a 16 year old boy and he is ADHD and ODD. He argues everything you say and in the next breath asks for your advise. The best advise I can give someone with teens is to stick to your values. Do not bend just because the world has. I think that if they see you staying stong in your morals or beliefs that they will see and remember that. But if you say one thing and do another they will call you out on it.
My boy ran his cell up to 500.00 and I about lost it. Instead of just grounding him from his phone I completely turned it off and I am making him pay for his bill and the shut off fee. If he wants a phone now he will have to get a go phone. So far this has worked really well and his attitude has even changed. I think by doing this he realized I ment what I said and wasn't just giving empty threats.

So to make my point short lol.....stand your ground, listen to them and allow them to be heard but don't lower your standards just because society has. Good Luck!!

you couldn't have said it better! perfect punishment on the cell phone incident.

Carolyn - posted on 09/26/2009

Isn't that the truth. They know everything and we know nothing! I couldn't have said it better. I have a 16 year old boy and he is ADHD and ODD. He argues everything you say and in the next breath asks for your advise. The best advise I can give someone with teens is to stick to your values. Do not bend just because the world has. I think that if they see you staying stong in your morals or beliefs that they will see and remember that. But if you say one thing and do another they will call you out on it.

My boy ran his cell up to 500.00 and I about lost it. Instead of just grounding him from his phone I completely turned it off and I am making him pay for his bill and the shut off fee. If he wants a phone now he will have to get a go phone. So far this has worked really well and his attitude has even changed. I think by doing this he realized I ment what I said and wasn't just giving empty threats.



So to make my point short lol.....stand your ground, listen to them and allow them to be heard but don't lower your standards just because society has. Good Luck!!

Tamara - posted on 09/26/2009

My sons are 14 and 15, and quite Honestly I believe it does get worse before it gets better. usually when they are out of the house it will get better Supporting her, guiding her and listening to her, is probably the best thing to do.

Let her fall/fail (yes its hard to see then walking to fail) and teach her to get back on her feet is probably the way to go. It is what my parents did Yes I made mistakes, some huge some small but with the guidance on how to pick up the pieces now as an adult its easier then it would be when all heck breaks loose.

Your doing a great job keep up the good work.

Linda - posted on 09/26/2009

all you can do is give advice about life,sex,love as much as possible and trust your daughter and be there for your daughter.they need to make there own misstakes in life.good luck.

Stephanie - posted on 09/26/2009

My son is almost 17...they know everything and you know nothing...but trust me; they still want you there. :)

Rachel - posted on 09/26/2009

its hard with teenagers i,ve got 3 and one at 21 and the little one whos 3 its very hard when u got no one to talk to i fined it hard sometimes i dont know what to do i am 40 soon with 5 kids and 1 grandson xx

Kim - posted on 09/25/2009

Most definitely! My daughter is now 24 and is a true joy but it took her turning 20 to finally find herself. My twin boys are 18 and tough! They have done the drinking and smoking and probation stuff. Hopefully it will get easier, but not so far.

Aida - posted on 09/25/2009

Quoting Monique:

16 years old is hard, does it get harder?

My daughter is turning 16 on thursday. Shes tuff to deal with. Very much into boys but doing well in school

As a high school teacher and mom all I can say is keep talkin to her...or ull lose her. Let her know u r there

Aida - posted on 09/25/2009

16 is rough but 17 harder. Too young for some stuff...too old for others. Keep ur head up. Don't tell him anything negative about the G-friens or she will be around for a very long time as he rebels towards u.

April - posted on 09/25/2009

My son turned 16 in April. He's crushing on a girl I don't care for. It's not too serious...yet. Just keep your daugther pointed in the right direction and she'll be fine.

Sheila - posted on 09/25/2009

All I can say is I have 3 girls 2 have passed the teen years and my youngest is 15, she seems to be harder than the others were. I'm not sure if it the generation or the change in the way teens see things these days. Sometimes she is happy and then others nothing makes her happy, very hard to deal with and very emotional...Before this I would have said "it will get easier", but now I don't know.