18 year old and won't finish high school?

User - posted on 11/14/2012 ( no moms have responded yet )

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I am at the end of my rope with my 18 year old daughter. She was suppose to graduate high school last year but failed at attending most of the time and didn't receive the credits needed to graduate. We decided together that attending an alternative high school would be her best bet in completing needed credits to get her diploma. She is very adimate about receiving a diploma as opposed to a GED which I am glad for. However, Since school started back up in September she rarely has attended. Once a week on average and is failing all classes. I have given her several ultimatums telling her if she was going to "live under my roof" she was going to do what she needed to do to finish high school. Which means attending school everyday and turning in work. This is my only expectation of her aside from cleaning her room of course and picking up after herself. She is also very disrespectful to me stating that she should be able to do school her way and I need to stay out of it. She also lies to me when I ask her if she is there. I work full time and am a single mother of two. My other child is a 8 year old boy. I am also afraid of the influence she is giving my younger son. I work early so it is not an option to get her off to school myself although the rare time I am able to it could be a big fight. I don't want things psychical of course. I have told her several time that she is going to be kicked out of the house because she is not doing what is expected and have even followed through on one occasion locking her out for a few days. Of course she came back begging and making promises so I let her back in on the condition that she didn't miss any school. Well she hasn't made the commitment to go still. Am I being too harsh by saying goodbye. Get the heck out and feel what its like to be an adult. I feel if she don't listen to me and do as I say especially when my request are so reasonable then she should find some place else to live. Is anyone else going throught this? Any words of advice?

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April - posted on 10/25/2017

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im in the same boat you are. I've tried counseling he wont go and gave an ultimatum to either go to school get a job or leave if he can't follow the rules. he chose to leave and i was so proud of him for signing back in on his own to school but he has no desire now to go again. he doesnt get out of bed no motivation and gets upset stomachs with vomiting. once he's up he's ok and promises with his heart to make you happy and come the next morning he won't go to school. I've thought of cyber school so there's no pressure to get up early but he would have to put in 5 hours a day and complete 20 assignments per day and i want to give him the benefit of the doubt but if he's not motivated to go to school how will he be motivated to do cyber school. im at a loss to help him. I've tried everything. i can bring a horse to the water but i cant make him drink. any other suggestions

Ariana - posted on 11/14/2012

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You might want to get her into some councelling, maybe there is some underlying issue going on. Or possibly go to some family councelling together. This is a critical time in her life and maybe going to a councellor will help her see she needs to straighten her life out.



If that doesn't work I would basically tell her she needs to go to school or work to live in your house. If she is refusing to go to school tell her to get a resume ready and start handing it out. That means if the only place she can work is McDonalds then she'll just have to go work there. If you get her working maybe she'll realize that going to school to potentionally get her to higher places in life is a lot better then working at a dead-end job. Most places want at least high-school/GED. People without it are the first to get taken off the pile of resumes and first to get fired...



If she refuses to go to school or work, and you've gone the councelling route, tough love may be the only way for her to 'get it'.

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