18 yr old daughter - ugh...

Jodee - posted on 07/31/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I have an 18 yr old daughter and seriously think I'm losing my mind. She was diagnosed with chronic migraine almost 3 yrs ago and is still in major pain every single day. She has been on many different kinds of meds and has been addicted to pain pills. She also takes meds for ADHD, a sleeping pill and for awhile was on an anti-anxiety med. Yep, those are all really popular with the "friends" she had. Many times she traded her pills for street drugs. For the last year I have been giving her her meds daily and hiding the prescription bottles so she can't take them without me actually handing them to her. She recently moved out and is living in an apartment complex that I know for a fact is frequented by some of her former drug dealer friends and there is nothing I can do about it. She did call me this morning and asked me to get her meds refilled and it scares me to death! She did agree that I could still keep her meds and only give her 5 days worth at a time so we'll see how that goes. She did have a job... for 2 1/2 weeks. A friend helped her get a car and co-signed for a $4100 loan to buy the car. I told him he was crazy but it's not my name on the loan so it's not on me. She lost the job and now has to come up with a car payment. I am not helping her. I am driving a 10 mpg vehicle because I can't afford a car payment of my own! Oh, and the best part? I also have a 12 year old who is watching her sister's every move. Lord help me!!!

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Jodee - posted on 08/07/2012

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Thanks Roohi - but unfortunately she is not out of the house really. The apartment thing fell through and yesterday she was physically assaulted by her ex boyfriend and has a concussion. She's back with me for now. My guess is that she's pretty freaking close to the bottom right now, at least I hope so. Please God let things not get even worse with her! In the last 2 years she has been raped twice, almost died of alcohol poisoning, almost killed herself from the kinds and amounts of drugs she was doing and now this. Please please please let this be it!
Good luck in your situation. I totally get the 15 thing. That's about when it happened for us too. And I'm terrified now because I also have a 12 year old!!!

Roohi - posted on 08/07/2012

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You are blessed that she is 18 and out of the house and will learn the hard way. I cant wait for my son to turn 18 so I can ask him to finally leave. He puts me through so much. Sometimes they need to fall really hard to come back up. My sons social worker from school told me that and everytime I find myself crying, He was the best kid until he turned 15. and then it went downhill from there. Hang in there. She will learn.

Jodee - posted on 08/02/2012

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Thanks ladies! I guess I know there is now "right answer" on how to deal with this but it's nice to be able to vent and get other mom's perspective on things. As for cutting ties between my girls... it seems that my oldest is already doing that. I am a working single mom and it may not be a popular opinion but I don't like summer vacation. Don't get me wrong, I love the sunshine (when we get it in Western WA) but having to figure out what to do with my kids??? Not so much! We are currently homeless and living in a motel room in a shady part of town. Not ideal but it's all I could afford. I WILL NOT leave my 12 year old there by herself all day (are you freaking kidding me???) and earlier this week my oldest took her one day and my sister-in-law was off work by the time I had to leave so she was able to take her. Except for today... So lastnite I'm scrambling at 8 o'clock at night trying to figure out what I'm going to do since not going to work is NOT an option! Lucky for me I have been blessed with amazing friends and one of them let her spend the night and hang out with his daughter today. The funny thing is, 2 weeks ago when we were moving into the motel room I was really upset that my 18 yr old wasn't going to be with us. She decided she wanted to try it on her own and was planning on staying with friends. Not ideal but at least I know the friends she would be with and felt she would be safe. She is now signing her name on a lease with a person she's known for all of maybe 3 weeks!!! So that sadness I felt a few weeks ago??? Not so sad anymore...

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Thats wacked out definately , your actually right in saying its a cult and no its not alright that they are speaking this in her life . i will be praying for her and you , The bible does not say its ok to take drugs and people make excuses for their sin and somehow justify or manipulate Gods word to suit themselves . i will be praying for you as well Jodee that would be very difficult to face as a parent my prayers are with you .

Kristin - posted on 08/01/2012

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Have you asked your daughter if she would maybe comnsider therapy or rehab? I dont reallt have any advice for you as she is legally and adult and your hands are tied until she reaches a point that she wants to change. If it were me and my child I would cut all ties as hard as that would be until they cleaned up their life. My son is 16 and he had some issues with POT I put him in an intervention and get him drug tetsed randomly. Thank god it never lasted long and he is a good kid. I think your doing the right thing by not helping her finacially as she will use the money for other things (ie drugs etc) If your 12 yr old is copying her older sister than you need to cut ties bewtween them until the older daughter gets her act cleaned up. Explain to your 12 yr old how its not a life to live or an example to follow and you dont want her to wind up in the same situation. I wixsh you all the best

Jodee - posted on 08/01/2012

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Actually she IS going to a church. Unfortunately it's one that I don't approve of and it's more of a cult then an actual church. She was raised going to church and does know the Lord but she's gotten sucked into believing all sorts of scary things these people are telling her. I could totally go on and on about this but... Ok, I'm sorry but having a "church" tell you that smoking pot is OK because it's "natural"??? Really??? So they are telling my addictive personality daughter that it's ok to do drugs? That the bible says it's ok? Are you kidding me??? I expect I'll get some crap from someone about this but oh well...

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Try and take her to church , she needs the gospel only Jesus can set her free i have a 19 year old daughter who loves the Lord and is saving her first kiss at the alter !!! If God can transform my heart and teach me how i can influence my family he can do it for anyonex

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