Jodee - posted on 08/07/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )
My 18 yr old daughter was treated in the ER last night for a concussion because her ex boyfriend physically assaulted her. A police report has been filed.
That's the short to the point part of this post.
The rest of the story is much much more involved. Almost a year and a half ago my daughter met a young man. I'll call him C. She was just coming out of a year of heavy drug abuse (which STARTED by "just smoking pot" but that's another post for another time) when she met C. When he first came around he was very respectful and told me about himself and his family. Interestingly enough, he was a calming influence between my daughter and I. 10 days after they started dating he was arrested. He had a previous charge (that he told me about) he was waiting to go to court on (his previous girlfriend was underage and he was 18) and ended up in jail then prison for a little over a year. During that year, I paid for every collect call, every visit to the local jail and when he was moved to prison 75 miles away, I paid for trips to visit him every.single.weekend for months. During the time he was locked up, my daughter went back to drugs worse then before, almost died of alcohol poisoning, and was raped twice. His response at the time? "If you had listened to me none of that would have happened." Not, "Are you ok? Did you report it?" Nope, it was all about "I told you so!" When he got out, things weren't easy. He wasn't allowed to be at my house because I have a 12 yr old daughter. I bent over backwards to make it so they could be together. So now we jump forward to about 8 weeks ago (he's only been out since the middle of May). My daughter is a bipolar/manic/schizophrenic bundle of emotions. She was happy he was out but he was so demanding and needy and clingy that she just needed some space. He expected her to be with him every minute of every day. She wasn't allowed to stay home and sleep or do laundry because then he wouldn't have anybody to hang out with and he "needed" her. She couldn't handle it and with all of the emotional/mental stuff she was trying to deal with she kept breaking up with him then begging him to come back then breaking up then begging him back. Finally he had enough and walked away. Only to continue texting her and in her emotional/mental state she was crying and apologizing and well, you get the idea. In the last 8 weeks she has not had another boyfriend nor has she had sex with anyone else. He has been leading her on and telling her that if she does he will never take her back...blah blah blah... In the meantime, he has gotten another girl pregnant! All this time he has been texting me and maintaining contact with me. Not that I go out of my way to contact him but I have responded. Like I read on another post here recently I came to love this boy like one of my children and just because my daughter isn't with him anymore, my "mom feelings" didn't turn off so quick. Two days ago he texted her and told her that his girlfriend dumped him and left him stranded and he needed a ride and a place to sleep for the night. My family is currently houseless and living in a motel room. My youngest was going to be gone for the night so I said he could come and stay with us for one night ONLY. I didn't sleep the whole night because I wanted to make sure they didn't do anything stupid. Well, yesterday while I was at work, he apparently went into a jealous rage because a guy friend did her a favor and pretty much beat the crap out of her. She wanted to go to the ER but he wouldn't let her because "he would get in a lot of trouble". He did agree to go to another friends house when she asked. She wanted to get to somewhere there was at least one other person so he wouldn't try to hurt her again. Apparently C decided to leave the friends house and go meet up with his pregnant girlfriend. As soon as he left, my daughter and her friend came to me and told me what happened. She finally went to the ER and got checked out (concussion) and filed a police report.
Sorry this ended up so long but I just really needed to get it out.
Oh, and those "mom feelings" I mentioned before? Yeah, they're gone now.