a child who doesnt care

Gina - posted on 03/25/2010

Don't give him that much freedom in the future. My son has a cell phone which solves this problem. He knows if he doesn't answer he will be grounded for a week. Also, your son knew it had been more than an hour. He is old enough to know that. He just took the extra time he needed. They all do that. They push and test limits. Don't worry, he is normal but be sure he knows ahead of time what the consequences are for his behavior. Made it big and always follow through on the punishment. He will eventually get it. Good luck.

Jen - posted on 03/25/2010

Better than grounding or getting him a cell phone: "Son, since I cannot trust you to keep track of time by yourself, I shall accompany you on your outings with your friends, so that I can help you make the right decisions" "Oh, you want to go hang out at the arcade (or wherever)? I'll bring a book" My daughters and I live in an area with no public transportation, so if they want to go somewhere, I have to take them. Since I am already doing that, I plan an activity for myself (reading a book while they hang with their friends at the coffee shop, or whatever). If they want to go walk around downtown, I find a place for me to be in downtown, and they have to check in with me every half hour or hour. And boy-oh-boy do they panic if they can't find me - no ride home, no money.... but I did finally get them a cell phone to share among the three of them.

Tracey - posted on 03/24/2010

My son has no concept of time so I give him the spare mobile phone and ring him just before I pick him up. He has to ring me before he goes anywhere that he has told me about first. A watch and a text would not help with my son has he has learning difficulties and can not read either.
If he is just not paying attention then grounding he may be the way. Or scare tactics may be the answer. Go out somewhere close where you can watch the house and stay until he rings you worried. Sometimes kids need a shock.

Michele - posted on 03/23/2010

He would be grounded until he learned the concept of time. I would not allow any of my children to worry me like that. He obviously is not mature or responsible enough to be hanging out with friends. Does he have a cell phone? If not, he wouldn't be allowed, if it were my son to do those type of things anyhow. My 14 year old son has a cell phone, and anytime he wants to go anywhere he has to call me and let me know where he is going and I call periodically to check on him. If he doesn't call me, then he loses his privledge of being able to go with his friends for a week or two.

Debra - posted on 03/19/2010

These are all very good suggestions, what ever you decide to do, don't feel guilty and cave in on your decision, kids will survive whatever their punishment is, Stay strong and determined.

Christina - posted on 03/19/2010

First of all, I would get a phone that you can track when you want to know where he's at. Second, make him watch specials on TV that shows kids being kidnapped and such and talk about it. Of course, don't allow him to go out for a long time-like a report card period of time. Definitely make him pay for your gas and earn your trust back by doing little errands and coming back after a specified time.
We had a son who did those kinds of things: go mudding and messed his truck up, hit a tree and lied about it saying someone at school hit it, and lied about his grades in school and not be where he was suppose to be. We made him call from somebody else's phone (Walmart pay phone, grandparents' phone, etc.) when he arrived and when he left. He was given a certain time to get to those places and to get home. He had to pay for damages to his truck and do the repairs mostly himself with Dad helping. He's had to take his muddy clothes to the laundry mat and buy his own detergent and pay to wash his clothes and dry them.
Make the discipline match the problem and then after a period of time, slowly allow him freedom to do the same to see if he learned anything and to regain your trust.

Julie - posted on 03/18/2010

this is where a mobile phone would be usedful! he won't see the worry he will just be thinking about what comes next and you are way down that list. perhapse you need to say that if you can trust him to be at the agreed place at the agreeed time then he cant go out alone (the last thing he would want is the threat of a parent tagging along) he just may tak notice! good luck

Tonya - posted on 03/18/2010

Have you considered buying a watch for him that has an alarm? This may help. Once the timer goes off, he will know to call you. I found some on Amazon for between $15 and $50 dollars. This may be helpful for you.



Tonya K

Kathleen - posted on 03/17/2010

he needs a cell if he does not have 1 with texing. but if he has 1 and did not use it, he doesnt need 2 go anywhere or have a cell 4 a while.

Leanne - posted on 03/17/2010

I had a similar problem with my son as well. After I got over the anger when we found him, I sat down with him and explained the dangers and concerns with the situation. We bought him a watch, so there was no reason to ever be late because now he knew what time it was. I also had picked the younger kids up from school and took them over to my mom's house ( we live across from each other) and I expected him home within a half hour. He came home, did his thing and by supper time, there wasn't anybody home. He called my mom " Have you seen my mom or the kids anywhere? I've been home for a long time and they aren't here yet. I am getting worried." That was exactly what I wanted to hear from him. I wanted him to feel the worry that I felt and know that letting someone know where you are isn't a bad thing. Not very nice on my part but the message was definatly recieved. He always calls to let me know where he's at now and there are always notes left for us too. Good Luck and hope this helps.

Liz - posted on 03/17/2010

Hi i have 3 children 2 girls and a middle son .the girls are great always let me know where they are when they will be back and if plans change get in contact straight away.My son however seems much more secrative always losses track of time etc .I he is an hour late getting back the concequence is either an hour earlier curfue the next time of an hour less on the ex box computer etc this concentrates the mind for a week or so but he always slips back ....think it may be a boy thing so just have to go with the flow and keep reinging him in.i always make sure i get to know who he is friends with though just to check them out ...good luck fiona

Brenda - posted on 03/17/2010

interesting,..what was he doing that he lost track of time is the question I would have asked. It seems to me that there is more to the story. I would be more curious about what he is doing that he couldn't or didn't want you to know about and hence "I lost track of time" easy way out if you ask me. I would make him more accountable for his time and find out what is really going on and then consider the consequences, and yes there should be consequences....good luck

Guin - posted on 03/17/2010

Does your son have a cell phone? I was not in favor of my daughters having them when they were young teens, but have found that it is a good tool for keeping in touch. If I call them or text them they have to respond in a reasonable amount of time (5 to 10 minutes) Also, if their plans change and they go somewhere different from where they told me they were originallly going they have to let me know right away. My daughters go to concerts occassionally and even now when they ar 19 and 16 and there with friends they have to check in with me after each band plays so that I know that they are ok. If they don't check in, they have to leave. Needless to say, they always check in and repond when I call or text them. This has worked well for me and helped them become responsible and helps ease my mind when they are out. As far as disciplining him. Why not have him do some chores for an hour? They ought to give him some idea of how long an hour is.

Jodi - posted on 03/16/2010

There was a rule in my house which I now use with my children : Grounded one day for each minute past 10 minutes tardy. It is sadly natural for a child his age to not "care" about others - it's a very self centered time of life - but he will care about consequences which impact his social life. Just make the expectation and consequences clear and I think things will improve.(you need to call home at 7 or you'll be grounded from the internet for two days) Good luck!

Chris - posted on 03/16/2010

I am sorry to say this but it sounds likes it's not that he don't have no concept of time But He lacks RESPECT ! for you and others ...

Rachel - posted on 03/15/2010

ground him everytime he is late or make or make him pay you for your gas that it takes to search for him by having get after school job goodluck