A non-graduating senior who still wants all the senior perks...

Dina - posted on 05/13/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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HELP!!! Should a High School Senior who should be graduating Class 2010, (but instead will have to complete summer school classes just to get her diploma) be able to participate in all other senior activates such as Prom / Grad Night and all the other celebrations that come?
My heart is aching here… As a mother, I have dreamt of my daughters Senior Graduation and Prom. I have planned this for so long and I am so disappointed that it’s come to this. I guess what I am asking is... Should I allow and fund all the other celebrations she wants to attend? I know they are once in a lifetime occasions and I would hate for her to miss out but at the same time the reason for celebration is Graduation which she won’t be doing. =(

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Angie - posted on 05/13/2010

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I can't imagine that the school is going to let her graduate with the rest of her class. That just wouldn't be right or fair to the students who did what they needed to do to graduate. However, I think she should do prom - she won't have an opportunity to go again. I didn't finance my son's prom, he paid for everything himself and I think all of his friends did too. I know this has to be hard for you but she will have to face the consequences of her actions.

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Evelyn - posted on 04/09/2013

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What does the school say about non-graduate seniors? I would follow those policies but if its alright for her to go to the prom and senior night, let her go. At least she won't have gone the rest of the year not attending. Besides you did say she is getting through summer school to get her diploma late. There are a lot of kids that do this because they did not complete classwork in time for graduation for a number of reasons. So I would let her go. But remind her that she is not a bad person because she did not complete on time to walk with her class graduation night. When she does complete her work for her diploma, throw her a big party.

Michele - posted on 06/26/2010

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I think you should let her do the prom too and the senior activities. She probably feels like crap because she messed up in high school and is not getting her diploma. there are so many different reasons why some kids don't manage to get their diploma on time - some people just mature at different times and the education system just has a one size fits all approach. She needs emotional support to get through the summer school and get some self esteem back by getting her diploma. I bet she hates failing, but has fallen into a rut. Keeping her from the activities is not going to make her a better student, but letting her go with the understanding that she must complete her requirements might.

Genia - posted on 05/14/2010

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Let her do the senior activities. I am not sure if every state is the same but in Michigan when students have to go to summer school to get there diploma there is still a graduation and it is for all of the high schools in that town who have seniors graduating and they have cap and gowns. Check to see if her school does that. Although she is not graduating with her friends she has not giving up and she will get her diploma.

Gloryanne - posted on 05/14/2010

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Dina- this happened to my son last year. My heart aches for you. For your sake, not your daughter's, let her go to prom and grad night. It's bad enough you will not be able to see her walk at graduation. A compromise maybe is that she needs to come up with 1/2 the cost of prom, so if she is not currently working, she needs to get a job.
Keep the faith - it is sad, but hopefully she has learned something from this.

Dina - posted on 05/13/2010

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Thank you Angie. She won't be graduating with her class.. But she could attended Grad Night at Disneyland with her classmates as a date of another graduating senior. As well as prom and other senior activites.. Because she has so many xtra adult school classes (she is in school till from 8:00 a.m. - 9:20p.m. with two breaks) she has not been able to put in any hours at her job. So the financing would have to come from dad and I. I am leaning tward allowing and paying. I know if she didnt go, I will be living with the regret for not allowing it.. but, if she does go, I could never regret that. My thing is I am sooo upset about her not staying true to herself and her education and will be missing out what should be one of her biggest achievments. Its almost a slap in my face for all the time and effort I have put into getting her here. Im so torn on this issue and I appreciate your help.

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