Absentee father interferring with my parenting.

Linda - posted on 06/10/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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0

My going on 13 year old daughter is going through a phase where she likes "scene" stuff. I have let her put colored streaks in her hair and she wears black eyeliner and other kinds of make up. I have let her do this instead of fight with her but recently she asked for stretchers for her ear lobes and a nose ring! I flat out said no to the stretchers and decided to ask her father about the nose ring. I first had told her she could have it and then decided no because of her age.
Her father has been pretty much absent in her life for the last 5 years due to alcoholism and bad choices he has made. He has joint legal custody but supervised visitation. He wrote back to me saying that he thinks the nose piercing is ok and I can't change my mind now because I already told her she could have it. Then he goes on to say "he has a say in the decision too". I told him that I am going to consult her endocrinologist because my daughter has Type 1 diabetes and let the Dr.s advice be the final decision.
He also told me that he is attending a program called "Healthy Relationships". I'm not sure if this is court ordered. Last year he went to a bar with a loaded shotgun and threatened someone with it. So now he is all of a sudden be "Father of the year" and trying to butt in. My daughter visits his mother frequently and I worry that they are going to conspire to try to get custody away from me. We had joint physical too until he kept getting drunk when my daughter was at his house.
He is the type that has a very superior attitude and thinks that everything he says and does is right. He refuses to see the wrong that he has done. Any advice is helpful.

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1 Comment

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Michelle - posted on 06/10/2012

2,191

23

realistically a nose piercing really isn't much to worry about, tell though she thinks the stretchers are cool now they won't 30 years from now so she has to wait til she is an adult before she does something that drastic and permanent to her body. As far as dad is concerned if you asked for his opinion then you can really get upset if he gives it to you and it is not what you want. As far as custody goes a judge may give him access but he will not get custody of her if he was already removed from her life once.