afraid my son might be gay. how do i approach subject and ask him?

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Alyssa - posted on 06/16/2014

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"Hey, son! How was your day at school? Good? Great. Are you gay?"
"Yes" or "No"
"Awesome, pass the peas, will ya?"

Patricia - posted on 05/11/2014

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Hi Missy:
I don't have a son but my teenage daughter has great guy friends that are gay and don't flaunt it to anyone but they are comfortable with their sexuality. I would be open, kind, loving, supportive and understanding - he might just be coming to terms with his feelings or struggling with not knowing in his heart which way to turn.
Be a rock for him to hang onto - it's not easy being a teenager in this culture, if you are gay or straight. Good luck.

D - posted on 05/11/2014

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When you use the words "afraid my son might be gay," that connotes there is something to fear. There is nothing to fear when a child is gay. Please come to that conclusion first. When you remove any prejudice (or when you decide you will curb any if you have any), just ask. If yes, it will be a burden relieved for your child, and apparently, something uncomfortable for you to deal with. If no, you will know, and you will have learned something about yourself.

I say this with all due respect. I know this is a fairly traditional site, but it's my favorite so far. Good luck and be proud.

Army_Mom - posted on 07/08/2012

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Your son is not Gay,

But he is at the perfect age to teach him that men and women are meant to be together, and that two boys or two men having sex with eachother is not natural.

If you don't jump on the issue now, it may go too far and he could be dragged into the lifestyle so deep you won't be able to get him out of it.

Good Luck

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Sally - posted on 06/08/2012

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My first question is ,why are you afraid of him being gay. will it change the way you see him,feel about him ? If its because you wish to support him then sit down and talk with him.
The other thing you mention i.e washng etc .my 15 year old is the same. he gets up early to make sure he can shower etc before school and if his going out in evening he will shower again. his underwear is changed at least twice a day but my son has always been like this even as a baby he hated having dirty hands. Is he gay I don't know and to be honest I don't care.
Talk to him ,make him aware that he can talk to you. at the end of the day he will be what ever is best for him.

Kristin - posted on 06/07/2012

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I would just ask him flat out. I asked my 16 year old if he was gay ( i know he isnt but a mother wonders right?? LOL) I had my oldest at 16 and he was raised by a single mom (me) for many years so he tended to pick up some of the more feminine traits ie cooking, baking, laundry. I do not think this is a bad thing, as my son also has a lot of respect for women in general. He also loves everything Japanese and electronics. He hates going outside and being sweaty as he is just not that type of person. He is very book smart and loves electronics and is not mechanical at all. This does not make them gay. Some guys just get along better with females and there is nothing wrong with that either, just as some girls get along better with boys. It is normal and unfortunately in todays society kids and teens in general spend less and less time outside and prefer to be on their computers, phones, video games, etc.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/14/2012

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Oh my goodness...

Your son has interest in Asian culture, and doesn't like to spend time outside, so he must be homosexual?

Please. Have you asked him? What does he say? If he says "no", then he's not!

What are you going to do if he says "yes"? How are you going to move forward with that?

He has a lot of female friends...Ok...???

I guess, if you're that concerned that he's not being up front with you, you need to sit him down and tell him that you are wondering if he's gay. Be up front with him.

Missy - posted on 05/13/2012

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Almost 15. He said no but the feminine mannerisms concern me. I may be reading his eccentric behavior wrong. He has a lot of friends that are girls but has had 3 gf's that I know of for sure. He is totally enamored with Asian culture. He does not like to do anything outside or get dirty or sweaty. there is much more but too much to say here. Thank you for your reply.

Stephanie - posted on 05/13/2012

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This happened to me too. My 18 years old is very "metrosexual" and has many gay friends.
Have you asked him? I wondered for years and since he has gay friends the topic came up often. I finally just asked him> He said no but i still worried so I asked him occasionally for about a year. I always told him it would be okay and that I wasn't going to freak out and that I LOVE HIM however God made him. Turned out he finally told me a few things that convinced me he is not Gay. You need to know if he is or isn't and love him either way. Then you can have a meaningful conversation. How old is he?

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