Heidi - posted on 07/12/2010 ( 19 moms have responded )
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I have a daughter who will be 16 next month. She is going to be a junior in high school. She has never really ever had a true best friend or close friends who call to hang out or do things. It seems to me like they always blow her off. She'll say she has plans with "so and so" to do something "this friday night" but then it never materializes or they don't answer her texts. She plays a falll sport in HS and also plays a spring/summer club season, and always has fun with those friends (not from her school) but doesn't do anything outside of those games and practices. We had a blow out tonight because she isn't following though on some things here at home and she started crying and after some prompting of "something else must be going on" she finally blurted out that yes, maybe she is a little depressed because she has no friends. i said all you have to do is call someone to do something and she said but why do I always have to call - nobody ever calls me to do anything. she is right...they don't. if it wasn't for softball this summer she would literally not leave the house. That is sad for a very outgoing, vivacious and funny girl. I don't get it. She is outgoing and when she is around people she is very quick witted and it looks like people always have fun with her, but nobody calls her to do anything. Is there something about her personality that turns people off? She just doesn't seem to develop those personal kind of relationships that pull people together and make them want to hang out together again. She is an only child, so my husband and I have always attributed some of it to just being used to and liking her time alone. And, we have always figured that if she is here we know she isn't out drinking and such, and maybe her staying home is her way of not getting involved in all of that stuff (knowing that her options are to go where there is alcohol or stay home). But, she is lonely and wants to have fun with other kids. She tells me I don't understand, that it isn't that easy and that she has slowly lost all her friends and now there is no way to fix it. I don't know how to help her. My heart aches for her. I am still BFFs with my friend from 7th grade, and I can't imagine going thru teen years without that special friend(s) to share and tell everything to. How can I help her? How can I explain to her how to be more receptive to friendships and people and how to get invited to do things socially? How can a girl who is outgoing and funny and able to be quick witted and yet have such trouble asking people (or getting asked) to hang out and do things? She says she has fun in school, and talks to people in her classes and such, but outside of school there is nothing. Help!!! sniff sniff
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