any ideas as 2 how i explain puberty to my 13yr old son ?

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Rachael - posted on 09/07/2009

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Hi i found the book Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph very good. It has alot in it including puberty.

Susan - posted on 09/03/2009

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With all 3 kids, I started the facts of life early. Even though my husband should've been the one to talk to my son about puberty, etc. it was something that I landed up explaining. I was honest with them and didn't sugar coat it or call body parts anything other than what they are called. I just tried to make it "no big deal" as I wanted them to feel as comfortable as they could and really, it is a part of life and if you make it embarrassing or uncomfortable they may start feeling that way about it too. I really tried to present it very factually and again, that it was the human condition and that we ALL go thru this and that they shouldn't be embarrassed about it. Did it work? Not all the time but I can and do, discuss birth control, choices, etc. openly with them and there isn't any awkwardness, from my end of the discussion at least, and they know that they can come to me or our family doctor when and if they need to.

I would take some time to go to the book store and check out the books that they have and decide which one you want him to read. Tell him to read it and that you're going to talk together once he's read it. Sit next to him when you're discussing it, studies have shown that men and boys react better when you're not facing them directly when talking with them. Just make him comfortable about what his body is doing and going to do so that he doesn't get an embarrassed, uncomfortable self-image. Again, stress that EVERYONE, EVERYONE in the whole world goes thru this and that it is part of being a human. Good luck...

Susan

Elaine - posted on 09/01/2009

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HI I BOUGHT A BOOK CALLED GROWING UP FOR TEENAGERS AND MY SON AND DAUGHTERBOTH 22 AND 15 RWEAD IT AND IF THEY HAD ANY QUESTIONS THEY CAME TO ME AFTER THE BOOK WAS FROM EARLY LEARNING CENTRE IT WAS A VERY GOOD READ AND EXPLAINED TINGS PROPERLY AND THE KIDS DID'NT HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED HOPE THIS HELPS ELAINE

Jan - posted on 09/01/2009

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I'm trying to find it in my son's room but I think its called "the little book of puberty" It's only about 6 inches high and fits under their pillows easily (for night time reading when they're on their own). Mine have all used it as it has clear simple pictures and texts. When IO find it I'll let you know the author.

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Angela - posted on 09/06/2009

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I sat both of my boys down and told them like it was. I then took them to my professor at college and him answer all the questions they had, I have a very open relationship with my children about sex. I also have a 14 year old daughter and we all discuss different topics. Every question is answered, if I cannot answer it, i have someone who can.

Cheryl - posted on 09/06/2009

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You should have started before 13..but, the only way to do it is honestly! Just talk to your son, hopefully by now you have built a relationship in which you can be completely honest with eachother (as much as possible with a 13 year old). Just tell him...don't hide or sugar coat anything. He's going to learn from either you or his friends, which information do you want him to remember. And by now, lets be honest, he's probably learned quite a bit already.

Sarah - posted on 09/05/2009

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a huge thank you to all of you for your advice it has been very helpful. We are of to the book store 2 get some books an and discuss then when he has read them again thank you .

Kim - posted on 09/04/2009

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Tell him pratice safe sex if he decide to have sex. Let him no he can always come to you to talk with out you being disagreeable. What these kid need is guidence when they choose to make that decision not a lecture. Parents need to do more listening the dictating remember you was a teen once. BELIEVE!!!!

Angela - posted on 09/04/2009

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hi i just told my son the truth from begining to end and made sure he knew that he could come and talk to me about anything and exploring his body is not wrong but is something to be done in privacy

Margaret - posted on 09/03/2009

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I talked with my son about the changes he was going though on a hike were he could not brush me off, I went all the way and talked about masturbation and every thing as most matter of fact I could, at first he was like "aww mom do we have to talk" but as I talked you could see he was interested and started asking questions, I wanted to make it relaxed as possible, also I wanted to tell him as much as I could in a sensible way and I did not want him learning odd things from his friends!

Tonie - posted on 09/03/2009

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Be honest with him. Explain the birds and the bee's before he starts learning from other children. Let him know that he can come to you and if he feels he can't open up to mom, make sure you have a back up person that he feels comfortable with. Be sure and teach about protection because hormones get the best of teenagers.

Bianka - posted on 09/03/2009

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Hi,yes these days I think its best to be totally up front with children.I have 3 boys and there are no secrets as to what changes occur to their bodies as they get older.It might be embarrasing at first but they'll appreciate the honesty.Have a great day.Bianka

Theresa - posted on 09/03/2009

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Sarah,



My son is twelve so I know what youre going thru this is what I did



If your Son is generally open and willing to communicate, taking a trip to the bookstore or library together opens the door to accurate and age appropriate information for both of you. Revisiting the fears, confusion and concerns of your own pubescent experiences can also lend clarity and support for you to draw on as you help guide your son through his experiences and circumstances.



Regardless of how to elect to provide support, nurturing and guidance, experts agree that sons in transition need patience while on their journey towards becoming a young man. By keeping a focus on the fact that however old your son is he still needs your active, loving participation in his life, you'll ensure you all make it through this phase of your lives.

Bren - posted on 09/03/2009

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Be totally honest and direct. Leave the floor open for his questions and comments. Be confident and comfortable. I have two boys... start with the facts, noticable changes in their bodies, as you explain that it will lead to more questions. Some teenagers do begin having relationships at early ages, so it is important to talk about urges and controlling those urges. AND PRAY!!!

Carrie - posted on 09/02/2009

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Your local health department should have plenty of pamplets to help discuss the issue with your son. I have been there done that. Now he tells me things I don't want to know!!

Lori - posted on 09/02/2009

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Hi sarah i have two boys 11 and 22. i've already explained puberty to my 11yr old,my advice is to tell him why and how come, add in the marriage talk,std's and condemns and how to use them(not for water balloons)......make a joke this will be heavy on him and very uncomfortable but neccessary.good luck!

Vickie - posted on 09/02/2009

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He more than likely already knows alot, use common sense, be open, honest and dont use silly words to describe anything. Use ready terms and words and give little and let him ask for more information. :) Good luck You will do great! Just the fact that you are willing to talk about puberty is GREAT! Many dont or arent willing.

Kim - posted on 09/02/2009

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Be up front with him. They learn alot in school, but knowing that they can come to their mom any time to ask questions, that means alot. my son is 13yrs old and i just started asking the hard questions. letting them know that you know what they are going thru makes a big difference. and being serious about it. it is amazing what they learn in school but we need to be there to explain it to them in reality.

Kelly - posted on 09/02/2009

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What worked best for me was just a very cassual open discussion. It was light hearted but honost. He was comfortable and asked questions. I simply conveyed to him that I am always here for anything he needs. That was two years ago. He still feels comfortable enough talking to his mom that he even asks me about girls, sex and those lovely erectile disfunction commercials. As for the books when I handed one to my son he was immediatley embarresed and he didnt even want to open it, Im sure it has since been shoved in some far corner of his closet never to be seen.

Caroline Frances - posted on 09/02/2009

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There are books u can buy to let him read and if there are any questions deal with them then.

Bess - posted on 09/01/2009

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We went to borders and found a book all about Boys. It explained everything and was written by other teenage boys. So it was in language they could relate to and they did not feel stupid for wondering about things. For my daughter (she's 9) we found a great book by american girl called the body book. great book if you have young girls 9-12 that could use alittle bit of explaining.

[deleted account]

Oh this was a hard day for me, when I had to explain to my daughter. I did lots of research. The best advice I found was, to only answer what questions they ask, and be honest. Let him know as he has more questions, he can come to you. That there is a lot of false information out there, and you will always be honest with him. Good luck!

Lisa - posted on 09/01/2009

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I would think at 13 he probably already knows most of it, through friends at school, but sit him down and tell him to ask you questions. That will open your mind and get the conversation going.

Jan - posted on 09/01/2009

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Books & open conversation about hormones making him feel moody for no real reason & will start to make his body change. Ask him if he has any questions & answer them honestly. Most kids will learn from eachother but may need terms explaining.

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