Any suggestions on how to get my 15 year old daughter to break up with her 18 year old boyfriend?

Kristi - posted on 06/23/2012

Now might be a good time to get her into counseling. Anxiety attacks and suicide attempts, real or threatened "because of you" are not something a 15 year old is equipped to deal with. Add to that failing school, trouble with your parents, "normal" teenage girl hormones, and a steady relationship with a man. Somethin's gotta give. Chances are good he won't want a high school freshman trailing him around his college campus. So nature will take it's course with that and you don't have to worry about calling in SWAT. ; ) But how is she going to handle that rejection and what kind of state is she in right now? I'm not trying to be overly dramatic. I used to work in a group home for troubled teenaged girls who were placed there by the State. Some of the things these girls went through and their thought processes, heck my thought process at 15 was not very good, I had a panic disorder but everything else was pretty standard. It just sounds like, from the little bit here, that she has some pretty huge stuff on her pretty tiny plate same as many of my girls did. We went through a lotta super glue. Just something to consider, take this with a grain of salt because I'm basing my opinions/suggestions on like 11-12 sentences....you know your daughter best. Hoping for a swift and peaceful resolution for your family.

Theresa - posted on 06/22/2012

Sally I think you are right. That has happened. The more we reject him the more she "loves" him. It seems for the entire year all they did was break up and get back together. It went on week after week. The boy would try to kill himself when she or he broke up and its been a real mess. Right now things are going smoothly. My daughter was having anxiety attacks all year. She started to skip school . With everything that has happened , she ended up failing the 9th grade. What I told you was just a little bit. I'm not sure what to do at this point he is going to college but he isn't moving out of town.

Sally - posted on 06/22/2012

... the more you try to' get your daughter to break up with the boy friend - the more she will dig her heels in. 15 year olds have this amazing ability to see life totally through their own eyes, and think that their mothers haven't got a clue about life :) Create lots of open conversations with your daughter that start with "Honey, these are my concerns...", they are far better received than "Because I said" Spend lots of time with your daughter, do great things together and talk about lots of things, not just the boyfriend. Put some pretty strict curfews in place however, time on social media, what places she can and cannot go to with him, This boy probably makes her feel very important and very special and its all rather cool at the moment. But that is a huge age difference and it probably won't last long

Kristin - posted on 06/22/2012

Why do you want them to break up? Is he abusive? If they get along and he treats he well than I dont htink you should try to break them up as she will end up being angry and resentful towards you. If he is abusive or you feel they may be too serious about each other than talk to your daughter calmly and rationaly and tell her your concerns and let her tell you her ideas.