anyone dealing with teenage outburst;s and yelling??

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Dawn - posted on 06/19/2009

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when my 17yr yells and hits stuff i just ignore him and when he's calms down we talk and he says he's sorry and then a hug. when you argue bac it just fuels the fire!!

Amanda - posted on 06/17/2009

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hi i have four teenage children three of them girls aged 15, 18 and 19 and i find that by shouting back just makes them worse and you end up feeling guilt i find the best thing to do is completely ignore the outbursts even when they are banging doors unless they come to blows, i find if they have no one to argue back to they calm down and then i ask them to talk to me and try to work through it, i have been doing that for the last month or so and they have calmed down a lot and we do talk more, good luck Amanda

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Verna - posted on 12/01/2011

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Our son is 13 with ADHD. Birthmom had ALOT of explosive anger and violent issues (we are finding this out now). He tries to seperate himself from family activities alot,but not aways. He screams and yells I hate you, I hate this family, I'm going to kill you, you can't control me. He has recently started jumping up into our faces threateningly. Now, I was a Cop,so he knows the training I've had. But he constantly tells us there's nothing that we can do,because it would be child abuse. He baits for arguments,at every opportunity. Yes he does see a Pscychiatrist. Any moms out there have any ideas??? We can't afford Military school( our Daughter's suggestion)

Jennifer - posted on 06/20/2009

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Almost every day. My son thinks he knows everything. Just the other day he went off about "His Stuff" being touched and I had to hold him back from hitting his little sister. Then when he gets really rough I ground him from his phone, ipod, or dirt bike. Seems to help get the situation under control for the moment...

ANNETTE - posted on 06/19/2009

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OH YES AND MINE IS 10 TIMES WORSE...SHE HAS A.D.H.D AND IS JUST A JOY TO BE AROUND AT TIMES....WE GET YELLING AND DOOR SLAMMING AND THE FAMOUS I FRICKIN' HATE YOU

Katherine - posted on 06/17/2009

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He goes to his room so neither of us says something we can't take back and we talk it out 1/2 hour or so later letting him completely explain his side without me interupting first and then he is to give me the same respect. Usually when can find a middleground we can both live with or ahe can see why I am saying absolutely no if he knows he was heard and we've got the emotions out of the way.

Carla - posted on 06/17/2009

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Hello Trudy, I may be alone in this but the option for my daughters to yell at me does not exist. I respect my children and I do not tolerate disrespect. My daughters know there are repercussions for bad behavior/decisions. In no way am I insinuating that you don't or have not punished your teenager. I just believe that setting boundaries and expectations start very early in their lives and there has to be consistency. It's not easy. It's frustrating and to be quite honest it gets on my last nerve but it's necessary. Support groups are very necessary, especially in this day and age. As parents we have to be consistent. We have to support each other.

Sandra - posted on 06/17/2009

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Hey Trudy. Yes, I have dealt with yelling and outbursts...hers and mine. I found through learned techniques that the only person you can change is you.

Therefore if you are calm (very hard I know), don't respond to her outburst and walk away before you explode, nothing gets out of hand.

If you don't engage a child in an argument, who've they got to argue with? They want and need the power to piss us off so that they feel that they've won. An accomplishment or victory of sorts.

I find now I only talk to my daughter quietly, calmly and only when necessary. I listen to her rant and rave about whatever it is she's ranting and raving about and then I nod my head and when she's done I walk away. I no longer give advice of judge...because I'm really good at that (as you can see - self-proclaimed therapist !!).

Trudy it's really hard not to respond to a disrespectful, ranting, obnoxious teenager who may be out of control, but you must try. If you are rewarding her for her bad behaviour stop. What I mean by that is if you are giving her money for shopping, or going out with friends or whatever...don't do that anymore. Her behaviour requires consequenses. That's hard to follow through on too, but again you must and if you are a double-parent household, your partner must be consistent too.

I would also seek resources in your neighborhood if the issues become out of control for you or your teenager. Help is always available and it's never a weakness to ask for help.

Good luck.
Sandra

EVA - posted on 06/17/2009

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this may not help but when mine does that i take things from him for a week until he realizes what he has done

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