At what age do u think teenagers should have sex..??

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Remy - posted on 12/27/2011

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the question is what age is it ok for teens to have sex? I agree with never!! ok, it may not happen like that for the majority, but there are some kids taking the less travelled road and waiting. I applaud those teens who have enough respect for themselves and their upbringing to wait. The 14 year old on here saying we dont know the circumstances is not old enoughto make decisions, let alone have sex, no matter wht the situation. If you were forced, it is not having sex it is rape! that would be the only excuse for not still being a virgin. And no matter what age I was or anyone else, it was still wrong if you did not make an informed decision. Kids are growing up too quick, saty a child...sex doesnt make you grown or prove your love for someone, sex complicates things..its out of order for any child or any unmarried adult, being out of order brings unnessecary stressors.
Yes , we need to educate our children. Talk to them, keep those lines of communication open, and explain ALL the reasons why its not ok...not just because "i said so"...it is a proven fact that if you dont teach them the streets will...we cannot protect them 24 / 7, but we can instill in them the honorable way. Yes it is 2011 almost 2012, and times have changed, but the Word has not and it is not right. We cannot control them and some parent dont care and it makes it hard for the ones who do, the influences out here are unbelievable.
I honestly believe, after 6 kids and one grandchild, that sex should be shared with the one you wish to spend your life with...only the one you marry...so whether you are 18 or 25 or 32, you are not ready until then. The consequences of sex are so serious that until you are about 30, the magnitude of can destroy you, alter your life and/ or make you into someone other that you desire to be....

Claire - posted on 05/28/2013

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I don't think any of us want our teens to have sex but it happens. With mine I have just taught them that I want them to be in a serious loving relationship with someone they deeply care about. My 16 year old has been with her bf for 3 years now and for me to tell them not to have sex would only force them to go behind my back. As long as we educate them and they are being safe I don't think there is much else we can do other than accept it and give them love and support.

Kim - posted on 02/11/2012

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@Jerusha, technically speaking sex was designed for procreation, unfortunately, with the advancement of our society we have fell out of touch with that. Some time ago sex became recreational as well as casual. I don't agree with teens having sex, however, I don't agree with anyone sleeping around for the fun of it. As adults, we need to educate our children on the pros and cons of sex. I talk with my daughter about se and being responsible. I like to think that we have an open and honest relationship. I trust her and she knows that her freedom is based on her honesty with me as well as herself.



Try being more realistic with teens and them waiting until marriage and only having sex to make babies because if that was the case married couples who are pass child bearing years should no longer engage is sex. The key is communication and explaining to them the joys as well as pitfalls with sex. Simply telling don't do it because I said so is not going to work. Ihave explained to my daughter that sex is a beautiful thing when you engage in it with that one person you love and truly loves you. I also let her know that at 16 she will fall in and out of love several times and that she should wait until she is emotionally ready to deal with the consequences that sex can bring. She made a promise to herself that she would wait until she graduates high school before she begins to entertain the thought. After that she will decide if she wants to wait until after she graduate college, then wait for marriage.

Valerie - posted on 02/10/2012

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Wow! All this procreation speak and a mouth like that???? You should be ashamed Jerusha!!

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Melissa - posted on 06/12/2014

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Kids will be kids and we cannot stop them. Now I don't think that we can tell them when and when they cannot have sex . If we do this they will just go behind are backs and do this and honestly I think this would be more upsetting. Just explain to them how to be safe and to make sure they are ready and not to do this just because the other person wants them to.

Sandy - posted on 01/23/2014

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I dont think teenagers ready to do sex under 20 yrs because they dont really no anything about sex some of them just do it for fun or something else. I remember when i was in high school at 17 yrs old i had a boyfriend and everytimes he asked me to do it i say no cause im not ready and he always told me he didn't asked me for a kid but one day my best friend came to my house and she told me she did sex, in the night i just call my boyfriend and tell him im ready now he suprised when i told him that but unfortunetly in that same day i get pregnant for him. Please my daughters dont let anbody play in our minds to do it before time because it's not an easy thing to do i know we going to fell good when we do it but we cannot buy a virgin back.

TiffanyLoves - posted on 05/21/2013

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There are a lot of girls and guys maturing very fast at an early age, as a teen parent I've heard from some people they lost their virginity in elementary, a lot of middle school or high school students, such as girls, will tend to lose it to an older guy over 2 or 3 years older under peer presure. Boys will loose it anytime if they are not shy but depending on their growth spurt, if your daughter dresses inappropriate at an early age, she has lost it or is willing too. A boy that try's to act more mature but in an angered way and is out there probably lost it. Just be ready any day because kids nowadays know everything about sex at an early age because of society.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/17/2012

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i dont know if there it a age for teens to have sex but all you need to do is prepare your child when they think they are ready just incase they decide to and make sure they understand the consiquinces of the out come thats what i will do with my children

Andree - posted on 03/16/2012

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no set age. when they are ready both mature and mentally ready, which would mean they know how to handle and prepare. They need to be smart and know how to handle the entire process.

Valerie - posted on 02/14/2012

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@ Karla- yes, I used the "contact us" button on the bottom of the pages and sent in the complaint and it was addressed within hours! Thanks again! :)

Proud - posted on 02/14/2012

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Let's see...I don't think anyone should be having sex unless they are married

Karla - posted on 02/14/2012

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I heard a rumor that the "report" button isn't working, but you can always write directly to the administrator of a page, or to CoM management if you are having a problem. I did that for the posts on this page after reporting several personal attacks, and foul language posts.

Valerie - posted on 02/13/2012

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Kudo's to the admin of COM for so promptly looking into my complaint!! I will now delete the comment from my daughter's "space".

Valerie - posted on 02/13/2012

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Before I delete it, I invite you all to see what Cindy Quinn wrote on my daughter Hannah's wall! I have a screen shot of that as well, in case she realizes that the behavior she is exhibiting, and things she is posting, are not appropriate behavior... how dare she write something like that on one of my children's "spaces"!!! Please everyone, let's rid this place of people like her! Report her behavior, her posts, her exploiting of children in her profile! This is uncalled for and just absolutely disgusting!

Lynn - posted on 02/13/2012

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Hold Up I must b reading wrong did u say age 11 is a good age 2 start having sex

Cindy - posted on 02/13/2012

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I don't have any child porn. You better look up the definition of child pornography.

Cindy - posted on 02/13/2012

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Janet won't have to worry about clicking anything on me again because I am about to block her.

Valerie - posted on 02/13/2012

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I think if you click the nice button again under hers, it will "un-nice" it... ;)

Janet - posted on 02/13/2012

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Hahaha, I went to hit the nice button for Valerie and hit it for Cindy / Verusha by accident. Sorry guys.

Valerie - posted on 02/13/2012

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And it shows you just changed everything one minute ago.. good thing I took a screen shot before that, huh? You sicko!

Cindy - posted on 02/13/2012

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Janet Romano, you really need to grow up. Let's drop this matter, and start behaving our age. We are supposed to be adults. So let's act like adults. Let's all shut up now. This mattter should be over. Grow up now.

Valerie - posted on 02/13/2012

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You have serious issues Jerusha/Cindy!! Go look at "Cindy's" kids on her profile.. How can you pretend to be a mom, and write things under children's profiles like "their favorite toy is a dildo?"-- YOU need serious help!!!! I will be reporting you!!!!! Not only for your antics here, but for child pornography!

Cindy - posted on 02/13/2012

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I don't know that Jerusha woman. So don't accuse me of being her. I am nothing like her. I just don't like how all you immature children are behaving toward her.

Valerie - posted on 02/13/2012

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Has everyone reported Jerusha like I have on her disgusting posts? If not, please do. I don't wish to have someone who talks like garbage and acts like street trash to be engaging the way she has.. I hope the admin stops her soon.. I will report her to whoever I can on COM.

Vera - posted on 02/13/2012

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Jerusha needs more than the "teen room". You need to seek help if a. either you get off on insulting people on a message board or b. you really feel this much anger because you've been educated, honey!

Anita - posted on 02/12/2012

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When they are emotionally ready to deal with the consequences...There is no set answer for this, there are many factors involved and some may be directly linked to family values and cultural/religious values. I don't think anyone younger than 20 is emotionally prepared, but realistically, children as young as 12 are having sex...I just try to keep my son busy and keep talking about the temptations...

Cindy - posted on 02/12/2012

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This is the 21st century. Get with the times, Jerusha. And as for her telling everybody off, I commend her on that. She told everybody to shut up, and nobody would. Everybody else is acting imaturely. As for sex, I believe it is something to do for recreation, and I believe age 11 is a good age to start doing it.

Janet - posted on 02/11/2012

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Sorry Jerusha, I think you need to be in the teen rooms, this is an adult group.

Kim - posted on 02/11/2012

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Take a deep breath Jerusha and count to ten everything will be alright. If you cant take the heat stay out of the kitchen.

Kim - posted on 02/11/2012

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@Jerusha,

I forgot to mention that oral sex is just as dangerous as penetration because a disease can be spread just the same way. have you heard of oral warts and syphillis (sorry if misspelled) anything that the penis/ vagina can get so can the mouth and anus. So I would discourage any teen from engaging in oral sex as well as vaginal sex.

Valerie - posted on 02/10/2012

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She did not attack, she merely pointed out the fact that sex is not only for procreation- believe it or not, people do it for pleasure, or sometimes for attention, and many other reasons, albeit good or bad reasons- they are still reasons. Since I have had a hysterectomy, should I never have sex again since I can no longer pro-create due to some major life threatening problems that I had to have a total hysterectomy? I think that it wasn't meant as an argument, but to state the fact that if you are going to say OK, use your mouth or your hands or objects kids, just don't penetrate with the penis, that it's more often than not, not going to stop there. Reality is that it won't. If these teens that don't think before they act on their hormones at least think enough to protect themselves from pregnancy and STDs, that's the best I can hope for if they are going to partake. I would rather my children use protection if they are going to have sex, any kind of sex, whether it be oral, by hand, or the "real thing". I don't know how you think calling someone the "C" word in a debate about teenage sex is anywhere close to appropriate. That's just childish, indignant, and downright a bad way to behave, or to model for your children. Is it ok for your kids to call people that too? You are in a public forum where they, or your mother, or whoever, could read that. At least for me, I wouldn't call another person that- especially in writing on the internet in an open discussion. Scared to think about how harshly and quickly you snap and how your kids react when you call them those types of names..

Jerusha - posted on 02/10/2012

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Valerie, Vera is the one who should be ashamed. She is the one that attacked me. Janet, my comment is acceptable and it is neccessary. Vera had it coming. She should not have made a remark at me. I said a fact when I said the main purpose of sex is for procreation. I said we should teach our kids what is right. We can tell them how even though we all do it, sexual intercourse outside of marriage really is not right, but kissing fondling, and oral is okay. We should tell them how the main purpose of sex is to make babies. So if you decide to have sex, you have to be prepared to have a baby. You are not old enough for sex until you are old enough to have a baby. No matter how hard you try to avoid pregnancy, there is a chance that it will happen. Nature intended sex for procreation; only an idiot can't see that. My reply to Vera's remark is acceptable behavoir and it was necesarry. You are wrong, Jenet.

Janet - posted on 02/10/2012

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Jerusha, one of the things I've learned as a mom, is that good and respectful discussion is healthy and productive. Your comments would not be acceptable behavior even from my 5 year old. God Bless!

Valerie - posted on 02/10/2012

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I agree Vera! Too many parents are blind to the facts of sex, drugs, alcohol, and other risky behavior. I know my kids maybe be on the extreme "bad" end of things. Am I? No! I have a degree, I am a professional, I work a second job outside of my career to make ends meet as I am a single mother. We live in a VERY nice high end part of town- moved from the middle class end thinking I could change their behaviors by changing their environment. As I was told by their counselors and drug rehab staff, it doesn't matter where we move... if they want to find trouble, they will find it. It is everywhere, the best and worst parts of town. The richest and the poorest and everywhere in between. From great 2-parent white picket house families to single parent apartments... It all comes within the individual, not from their environment (most of the time..). I am not saying that the gang-bangers who raised their teens have equal chance of not having a drug addicted sex having child, because if they are raised around that as being "normal", yes, they will probably be more prone to continue the circle of life like that.. but for everyone else, don't be blind to the fact that just because you own a mansion in Beverly Hills, your children won't find whatever it is they want to find if they want to... that goes for all aspects of life, from sex and drugs to wanting to go to Notre Dame.. At some point in "tween-hood"- our children develop a mind of their own AND figure out how to use it... Again, educating yourself and your children, and keeping your eyes open AS WELL AS YOUR MIND!!!

Vera - posted on 02/10/2012

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While they SHOULDN'T, they DO. Many do. I think it's an ignorant bliss to pretend otherwise.



My kids absolutely KNOW I am not raising any babies. I work two jobs and my head is spinning already.



To think that all teens will remain virgins until they are out of high school or married is just silly. It's not like it's anything new.



I agree there are too many babies having babies and the sad thing is, many of these girls were so ignorant to sex, protection, etc. that it could have been avoided if they would have just been educated better. My daughter has three girls from her ball team either that have had their babies or is pregnant. One of the girls came from a very religious family and she was just clueless about protecting herself.



I guess I am shocked that there people that still believe teens will not have sex. They will and they do and the best we can do for them is to educate them to protect them against disease and pregnancy and pray they follow that advice.



Even with the best intentions, it's also a fact, that they will make their own decision whether we like it or not.



How I miss the days when they were little and would listen!!

Lorri - posted on 02/09/2012

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Teens should not have sex PERIOD!!!!!!They have their entire life to look forward too. I have seen too many babies having babies. They do not raise them, people like you do. They should wait until they are maried or at least out of high school. Then they are considered adults, then they can take on the responsibility if they become pregnant. Good luck!

Janet - posted on 02/09/2012

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First off teen sex does not equal having babies. I'm 37 years old and have had sex more than a few times in my life and even outside of marriage. I've only been pregnant twice and have never caught a disease. Teenagers that are educated and in committed long term relationships can and do enjoy sex as much as us old fogies. I accept those of the opinion that sex is a sacred act that should be saved for marriage, I just feel differently.

Vera - posted on 02/09/2012

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Valerie-Thank you and best of luck to you! I know it has to be frustrating because no matter what, we KNOW what's best for them.



Jerusha-I think in 2012 we can understand that there aren't many people having sex for procreation. Human beings also have free will and with that, comes behavior.



We aren't in a book-this is life! Honestly, this thought that having someone's genital's in your mouth is ok and intercourse is not is crazy! Disease spreads that way, too!



I have to respectfully say, I totally don't get that thought process. Anyone who believes disease comes just from intercourse seriously needs some education.

Jerusha - posted on 02/08/2012

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Technically, a person should not engage in sexual intercourse outside of marriage. Human beings were not made to have multiple sex partners. That's why there are sex diseases. The main purpose of sex is procreation. That is why there are so many unwanted pregnancies. I think it is important to teach a child about limitations and boundaries. Full sexual intercourse is going past the limitations and boundaries. Kissing, fondling, and oral can be acceptable. But full penetration should not be acceptable. No teenage child should be engaging in sexual intercourse. In this day & age, the age of 18 is really too young to get married. And without marriage, sexual intercourse should not be done. Age 21 is a better age to get married. So I say age 21 is the right age to begin sexual intercourse. Kissing, petting, fondling, and oral can come sooner, perhaps even as soon as age 13, but penetration should be a big no no for teenagers.

Valerie - posted on 02/06/2012

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Vera- very well stated! Thank you!!! My twin 16 year old girls have made every bad decision one could probably think of.... KNOCK ON WOOD there have been no pregnancies.. but there have been scares of them and I bought them the tests and took them to the doctor and thank goodness it was negative for both of them... A parent can be the best parent in the world, but teens have a mind of their own.. and sometimes their minds don't think very clearly.. I just got back from enrolling one of my twins into the youth correctional school which is court ordered and school district ordered from expulsion for lots of bad stuff... court dates should be coming up soon.. the other just got done with all her court dates and is on formal probation.. I just hope I can keep them safe and out of "jail/juve" but I know it's not up to me anymore.. it's up to them... good luck to you! Valerie~

Vera - posted on 02/06/2012

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I think we all believe teenagers shouldn't be having sex but we also know they do. We were also teenagers-we didn't just arrive at this stage of the game.



I saw a post from Remy-she makes a great post about the right parenting?? You can be the BEST parent you can possibly be-have an honest, open discussion about the consequences of sexual activity and the reasons why you should wait. How many of us actually took heed of that as teens ourselves?



We as parents can't forget that no matter what we try to teach our children, they are still human beings different than we are and have their own thought processes whether we like it or not.



I have two teenagers that I have always been open with and I have showed them the consequences and they KNOW. They see teen moms every day.



Still, none of that stopped my two for experiencing it for themselves. I also work with moms whose teens have had their first experience very young-13 and 14. Granted, our kids physically matured also at very young ages. This has been my greatest disappointment with my two teens.



But I know I can't stick my head in the sand and pretend they won't continue at some time again and all I can do is make sure they're protected to the best of my ability.



I worked in Social Services for a number of years and I can tell you-teens are very deceiving. I think research shows they strive to be independent from us and becoming sexual is one of the ways.

Christina - posted on 02/04/2012

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Ana you cant say never because unfortunately it's gonna happen and you should really sit down and talk to someone older that you trust before hand and make sure you are using birth control and protection.

Christina - posted on 02/04/2012

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My oldest is 18 and had sex for the first time at 16 and really wishes she would of waited. To me waiting is the best because you need to understand the emotionally part of sex not just the physical.

Adrienne - posted on 02/03/2012

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old enough to pay for the baby and their own responsiblity. not make me a grandma yet, lol

Renee - posted on 02/03/2012

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I have an open mind about sex, yet a conservative political stance...



I believe that everyone should have intimate relations with their potential life long partners before marriage. It actually solves a lot of infidelity issues in the future, and teaches you what you want or don't want in a mate. I even think living together before tying the knot is a great idea since you learn so much about the other person's habits and such before making your union official.



That said, I believe it varies from teenager to teenager as to the appropriate age for sex. I was 18, but just out of high school, not in college. Before that, my maturity level wasn't high enough to handle an intimate relationship. So, I feel no younger than 16 is best, but each teen needs to understand deep within if they are emotionally and mentally ready for it. Girls more than boys because boys tend to have more drive and girls control the sexual relationships so they will only (hopefully) wait until they are ready. A boy who pressures her isn't worth her time and needs to be pushed to the side, a boy who is willing to wait for her and wants a serious relationship with the girl is the best choice, and, as parents, I feel that we should instill these rules into our daughters and sons so that they make healthy choices regarding sex.



By the way, I had only 4 sex partners, including my husband, before marriage. Hubby and I lived together for a year as well. We are approaching 22 years of marriage in April...

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