Attitude

Debbie - posted on 03/18/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I need help with my girls aged 13 and 10. I am running out of patients with all the nagging,fighting and bickering all day and night. Nothing is good enough for both of them. They get pocket money, airtime for cell phones, clothing when they need it. I do not spoil them at all. I try to make time in the everning for them chat discuss their day seems like its not enough. Teenage phaze is new to me just so very difficult. Husband travels most of the time and i am left with the girls. They both very attached to their dad so when his gone they give me a realy hard time, by becoming very withdrawn and rebellious towards me.
No sarcastic replies please i need good advice
Debbie

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Jennifer - posted on 03/18/2010

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I have 3 girls and I completely understand. My girls had a fight last night about who was the last one to use the fingernail polish and therefore had to put it away. Since they couldn't figure it out without me hearing it they lost the whole container of nail polish for 2 weeks. They are going to fight but they should always be respectful of you and your rules.I don't think Dad can help with this they need to know you are the boss and they have to follow your rules and do what you say. I would ( and have) take cell phones, tv time and anything else that is needed till they start following the rules.Good Luck and keep your cool because they look to drive you past your breaking point.

Kathleen - posted on 03/18/2010

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let 1 of them stay the night at a friends and take the other 2 a movie or out 2 eat.then do the same with the other.they want alone time with u without the other 1.my girls r 10 and 13 and they have told me they feel like they have 2 compete with each other 4 my time.the fighting is not going 2 stop anytime soon.i am very sorry 4 having 2 tell u that.more than likely when they become adults they will stop and even tell u they r sorry.if u want 2 keep your sanity try and keep them apart sometimes.once in a wile take them both out.but most of the time take turns.also take cells away and extra $ so they know u mean business.good luck!!!!!

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Danyelle - posted on 03/18/2010

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You are their mother! You need to get tough, I mean really tough. One day, pick them up from school. Bring them to the house. Take both of their cell phones and cut off the house phone. Tell the to sit down and I mean with a mean voice that they have never heard before, from deep within. Make sure that the look on your face is beyond fearful and serious. I don't care if you have to practice the look in the mirror. Then you tell them you are sick of it, the fighting, the yelling, the complaining. YOU WANT IT TO STOP NOW! Tell them "I thought my daughters were 13 and 10, not 4 and 2. Tell them that you work hard to give them what they need and some of their wants. You deserve peace and quiet. They are sisters, blood, family. They deserve respect from each other. Tell them that until it stops, there will be NO MORE going shopping, NO MORE going out with friends, NO MORE talking on their cell phones (if they have one). Demand that for one week (7 days), they are to come home from school and spend time together. "I don't care what you do together, but you must NOT fight, argue, whine, complain, or sit silently! You must talk, laugh, and learn about each other." Until they learn to show love and support, I would make their lives a living "@#%@". I would also turn my cell phone on silent, put the recorder on, and place it in a room that they will spend time in together. YES, SNOOP! First, this will let you know if they are just playin you and faking it until the week is over. It will also tell you who is causing most of the problems. Believe me, one of the girls is starting it and finishing it. You need to know which one it is for sure. I can only tell you what I would try. I only have one child, a 13 year old daughter. However, I have a12 year old niece who wants to be close to my daughter and I want them to be close. My daughter looks down on her like she's 5. But the older she gets, the more my daughter and her get along. If nothing works for you, I think you should get a male involved, like their dad, an uncle, or male cousin. A lot of times, men can get things done with it comes to a situation like this. Good Luck!!

Kirstie - posted on 03/18/2010

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Well i would say you need too talk to your huband about this,see what he says,But untill then if they want to fight all the time, everytime they fight take something from them they do not seem to see you as the parent, they see you as the mom that gives in. take ceel phone,dont buy them something or when they want to go do something say no,followed by stop fighting with your sister then we will talk. this is normal for them to fight,I have 5 girls but there is a limit.Tell them you better learn to get along because no matter what, you guys are sisters and you are stuck with each other. forever.

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