Birth Control

Rhonda - posted on 06/28/2011

@ Felisha: I got the first indication that it was condom time for my oldest son at 14 years old. I started watching them disappear quickly at about 15 years old. Around 16, he got a steady girlfriend. I sat them down, first together, to talk about birth control and being sexually responsible. I then sat the girlfriend down alone with plenty of info about specific conceptive options. She chose the pill and we both talked to her parents about how to procede with the doctor. The rule in our house is the only people allowed to have sex in it are the people who pay for it. (lol) They manage to do whatever they do without disrespecting me or the sanctity of our household. Its been two years now, they have currently graduated from high school with no babies or pregnancy scares.They both have college plans and goals. So far, so good.

Constance - posted on 06/28/2011

My 15 yr old has been on biirth control for almost a year. She has been with her BF of the same age only 2 monthes older for over 2 years now. I didn't put her on birth control to condone her having sex whish at this point they are not and have not. I do understand they love each other and hormones can take over. She is protected and his mom has provided the condoms. Now Ihave a whole new set to deal with 19 yr girl, 16, 14, and 12 boys. 19yr old got the implant the day after I picked her up. The three boys I am hoping to keep them riegned in the 12 yr old mostly. His drugged up mother incouraged him to have sex and not just with a girlfriend but any girl he could get into bed. I think he has had 5 partners. HE IS 12 WTF IS WRONG WITH HER?

Sam - posted on 06/28/2011

ACKKKK!! ELLEN!!! OMG.....sorry but OMG!

Felicha - posted on 06/24/2011

Rhonda, how old were your teens when you made the condoms available to them?

JuLeah - posted on 06/12/2011

I wish, along with sex ed in the schools, and in our conversations with them, that we would teach kids the many many ways to have sex that won't result in a baby. If kids understood more about the options, they might choose to hold off on intercourse for a time.

Tamara - posted on 06/12/2011

I have simply told my sons if you are not ready to have this girl in your life for the rest of your life then don't do it. Sex has always been an open topic in our home, both the boys know that they can tell me what ever they want. I do reinforce i think they should be in a committed relationship for a while. They both do also know that if you don't have protection yourself then don't do it.

Susan - posted on 06/10/2011

In response to Ellen -- REALLY????? I was mortified when I read your post. Someone who is 13 is NOT an ADULT and I believe you being her PARENT - should NOT be OK with her 'enjoying sex on a (very) regular basis'!!! Are you kidding me????? It's almost like you are treating this situation as like you're her "bff", not her Mother. 'Course, your situation is just going thru the generations - since your mother was ok with you having sex with a 24 yr old ADULT for 1.5 yrs when you were only a child yourself!!! What do you think your daughter will do when she has children of her own?? The cycle will continue it's ancestrial upbringing.

I am a mother of two teenaged daughters. We have established an open relationship with each other - meaning they can feel comfortable coming to me about these subjects. Even though I didn't wait until marriage to have sex for the first time, I definitely don't promote/encourage (to my daughters) that it's "OK" to have sex before they marry. I do believe that "True Love Waits" - meaning holding yourselves until marriage - and I wish I had done this for myself. In saying this, however, my oldest daughter came to me (at 16.5) to tell me she was considering having sex with her b/f. Realizing she probably would (regardless of what my input was), I did put her on BC - against my better judgment. I have always questioned whether I did the right thing or not...i.e. not wanting to come across as "promoting/encouraging it". But just because she was on the BC pill, I am not telling any of you I would have been "OK" to openly encourage that activity any where in my presence, much less under the roof of my home. Not anything like reading "Ellen's" post below - who feels it is completely natural for her daughter to be engaging in this way.

Considering the last sentence of my post, I do appreciate the original author of this post. I do support us, as parents, talking to our teens about sex and the precautions needing to be taken in order to prevent pregnancy or STDs. Bottom line, the only way both can be prevented is by not having sex and encouraging them to keep themselves until marriage.

(Sorry if I offended anyone in my post)

Penny - posted on 05/08/2011

Ellen...... really ?

Ellen - posted on 05/07/2011

I was 13 and lost my virginity to a very sweet guy of 24. I never regretted it. My mother was very understanding and approved of this relationship (which lasted for more than 1.5 years). She also got me on birth controlI (pill) right away. I think we should not be too afraid of teenagers becoming sexual active (they will at some time, some earlier, some later). Inform them and guide them as much as you can and show they can trust you. My own daughter of thirteen recently has become sexual active (she's on the pill to) with her boyfriend of 17 and I am totally OK with it, because she is totally ready for it, she was completely open about it to me, she knows what she is doing and she really wanted it. Her boyfriend is a really nice guy, who never pushed her and honestly was surprised when my daughter made clear she wanted to have sex with him.



I know thirteen is quite young but I think my daughter is somewhat ahead of her years both physically (she has a great body) and mentally. We shouldn't judge girls just by their age, but as the person they are at any given time.



My daughter is now enjoying sex on a (very) regular basis. It gave her a lot of confidence and it is great to see how she is growing into a young woman and into her relationship, which may not last for too long (which she knows) but which will always be a nice and valuable experience for her, one she can build on in future relationships.

Ateh - posted on 02/16/2010

Hi, reading comments from all of you makes me surprise because I never think that children at such age already had sex. Maybe in my community here, sex is still taboo to be discussed. It really open my views about sex and teenagers. Thanks... I should pay more attentions to my teenagers and start to give info about sex (I've to think of the way so then).

Rhonda - posted on 02/15/2010

I started buying condoms in the large packs and putting in them in the bathroom for my teens. My theory is that if condoms are available, they will use them. The sex conversation has been open since they were toddlers. I never spent much time on abstinence, its not realistic. So I have focused on information about STDs, pregnancy, and birth control. So far, so good. Once I got over the gory details, we have been able to have some good conversations about relationships, respect, cheating and how to pick a good "mate". The thing is, you never know how well you did until they are grown. I'll keep you posted.

Tina - posted on 02/09/2010

The only thing 100 % safe is not having sex..But kids now days are starting at much younger ages.I was on the pill for 8 years without ever getting pregnant.But I know that was just by the grace of God. Because I know there were times that I had missed one.

Senobia - posted on 02/08/2010

Bump.



Good advice.