Concerned about 16 yo daughter's obsessive relationship

Cindy - posted 5 days ago ( 1 mom has responded )

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My daughter has been dating her boyfriend (also 16) for 8 months. He seems like a nice kid but I occasionally check their texts to make sure - I have told her that I do this occasionally to make sure she is safe. Things were great in the beginning but the last few months they have seemed to have taken a turn. I noticed both of them being obsessive with each other - not wanting the other to talk to the opposite sex, checking in every where they go, etc. I confronted my daughter one evening when I saw that he told her not to talk to one of her male friends at church. She got teary eyed but agreed with what I was saying. She said they had been fighting a lot and wanted it to stop. She talked to him and things are definitely better from his standpoint. But, now I am extremely concerned about my daughter's behavior. She is continuing to start arguments with him over who he is talking to or following on social media. She is making him miserable every time he goes out with his friends by texting him non-stop about where he is and who he is with and why he would rather be with them than her. I feel bad for him - and my daughter, who is obviously obsessed. I asked her today at lunch how things were going since we last talked and she said great but when I looked at her texts a little bit ago, I saw this horrible exchange that went on all night last night when he was at his friend's house. He was a perfect gentleman but I can tell he is about at the end of his rope.

I am not sure what I should do to help my daughter. She obviously doesn't want to tell me the truth about how she is feeling. Thanks in advance for any advice.

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Sarah - posted 3 days ago

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I'd encourage her to spend time with her girl friends and friends male or female from church. Keep her busy in activities and you have the authority to limit the time they spend together as well as the amount of time she spends on her phone and internet. Maybe by setting some firmer boundaries, that are your rules so she can't be "blamed" for not engaging she'll branch out and find support thru true friends .

Lilian - posted 4 days ago

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For me, I would sit and have a good talk with my daughter about keeping a healthy relationship. Her emotions & insecurity is probably part of her growing up as a teen. By picking on little things to be upset, not only makes him miserable but it also causes her to be miserable too. Perhaps you can remind her that no other person can really fulfill her happiness other than happiness coming from within her. Hope she understands and soon grows out of this stage.

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