Dating

Lady - posted on 01/11/2013

hi!,
the proper age is atleast 14 or15 and above!(2 me). but be aware of when her heart gets broken! i tell my child okay as long as she doesnt come crying to me when she makes a mistake. dont take it from the internet,take it from you and your oppinion! good luck! :)

Rosanna - posted on 11/07/2011

kids will be kids either you allow them to do things but with talks and bouries or they will go behind your back and more often than not do something they regret because they feel they cant come to you for advice or even to voice there concern for being afraid you will be mad that the fact they have gone behind your back in the first place... trust your daughter keep her well knowledged and let her know you are there if she has anything she wants to talk about it is what you do at this age exploring all these feelings having just gone through first stages of puberty

Sharisa - posted on 11/04/2011

I have always told my daughter who is now 15 not until she was 16, but a few months back she shared that she had interest in a boy @ school, she and alot of great things to say about the young man who I have happen to meet a few times. And I changed my mind my daughter is a captian of cheer, on honor roll, all around a good kid. I haven't seen that her liking this boy has had any effect on her. He is now her "boyfriend" but have not hung out outside of school yet.. I told her if we went to the movies or something he could come along, not sure how I'd feel about him coming to hang out at my house.. So my point is I allowed her and she is happy to call him her boyfriend they hang out at school and nothing more. Maybe if your comfortable with it lay down some rules for this so called dating :)

Lillian - posted on 10/25/2011

My daughter just turned 13 in september I was thinking on this topic. Does 13-15 in escorted group dates and 16 and older solo dates sound reasonable? I am a single parent and she is my only child. This topic has come up a lot lately in our conversations as she has her first real hardcore crush and some of her friends are allowed to date. (sorry I originally put Dec but she turn 13 in sept.)

Lori - posted on 02/28/2009

I did not let my daughter "date" until the age of 16. That of course did not stop her from saying she was dating once she reached highschool. Dating to her was seeing the boy at school and talking on the phone. That was acceptable. Our house rules of course was inforced and there was NO dating (going out as a couple) until 16. She is now almost 17 and there are "Dating" rules...1) She must earn the right to go out. Once she earns that right, she is allowed 2) to go out one(1) night of the week-end. (Friday or Saturday)(Subject to change, depending on the situation) No week-night dates. 3) She must ask us, not tell is she will be going out. 4) She MUST walk in the door at curfew time. We also have a phone curfew, otherwise, she could talk all night long. If you feel strong about not dating until 16 stay strong. (she will learn to accept it and someday thank you and probably do the same with her child)

Angie - posted on 02/28/2009

Yes I also agree that getting to know the parents of the boyfriend are important. I recently had a long converstation with my daughters boyfriends mother just so that we would be on the same page when she goes over to their house. It made me feel better about that, now his mom and I text back and forth too when we have questions or concerns. I like these msgs boards too...im a single parent and sometimes and it helps to get other peoples perspectives.

Helene - posted on 02/28/2009

I agree about meeting the parents of the boy. My daughter is 15 and has her first boyfriend, he's 17. He usually comes over to our house and we are getting to know him. She's been to his mom's house for his sister's birthday party and met his mom's side of the family. We had a very nice talk with her. They know that our daughter is not allowed to single date until she's 16. We have to trust our teens at some point (or so I'm told :) ) So far, she has been really open with us. Her boyfriend has been really sweet to her and respectful to us.
I'm really thankful for this discussion board. it helps me to know that I'm not alone.
Prayer really helps too!

Liz - posted on 02/28/2009

I agree with both Angie and Carrie... Their going to do it anyways, atleaest you'll be on the same page as them. I always meet  their family because mom's of boys feel the same way.It puts us both at eas. Hope all this that everyone is saying helps you. Just remember your not alone.

Carrie - posted on 02/28/2009

My daughter is 15 and a freshmen. She has started dating a senior, which at first really "freaked" me out. I have tried to be open with her and talk about issues such as sex, alcohol etc. I know she isn't telling me everything, but I hope if there are any serios issues in her life she will feel comfortable coming to me. I have allowed her to go to movies, out to eat and shopping with him. Otherwise they are at our house or the boys house. I made a point of meeting his family and felt much better after that. Although I worry every day, I also need to trust that I have given her the right values to make good choices at this point in her life. I am currently reading, "Why They Act The Way They Do?" by David Walsh which has helped me have a better understanding of the teen brain. Doesn't make it any easier to let her date, but I knew I couldn't prevent it forever.

Angie - posted on 02/27/2009

My daughter is 15 also and she has a boyfriend. She has shown an interest in boys since pre-school, not kidding! I never wanted her to feel uncomfortable to tell me she had a crush or really liked a boy. I say being open is best. If they feel shut down on something and its and absolute no, especially with something like dating..they can easily do this behind your back. My daughters boyfriend is over all the time and I always try and include him in family activities etc. Of course they are allowed only in her room with the door open!! And then there is the talks about sex and birth control that i believe every parent needs to be eyes wide open about this. Some parents really just don't think their teen will do it. Im not saying your teen is but at 15? Its happening every day and if they don't think they can go to you they may just find themselves in a tough position like getting pregnant or an STD. Thats just my opinion and I would say pick and choose your battles, there are far worse things to worry about than your teen having a boyfriend. Good luck to you!

Liz - posted on 02/27/2009

I have a very responible 15 year old daughter who up until they broke up afew weeks ago was dating him for almost a year. I trust my daughter and I have voiced that what about the boy...She laughs and tells me that she hurt him where it counted if he every tried anything. I also know all her male friends so that if she does decide to date one of the boys than I already know him. I live in a small [city] town so I know mst of the parents here, plus I worked in the schools for over 6 years.I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your daughter but from what you said, you two have a pretty good relationship... I'd let her. You sound like a fair person, talk to her about it, she may surprise you and agree with you.

Tammy - posted on 02/27/2009

i have 2 step daughters who are ages 14 and 15 (about to turn 16).  They have been allowed to have boys over here, and occationally go to boys house if parents are home.  I met parents, and I talk to moms each time to verify they will be home.  The oldest will be allowed to start dating after birthday, because she has shown us that she can be responsible, since we have gotten to know her boyfriend we believe he is a responsible young man.

Lisa - posted on 02/26/2009

I don't think stopping her from dating is going to be a good thing in the long run.  They will only do it behind your back.  The best advice I can give (mind you I have boys) is if she comes home and says she is interested in a boy is to take an interest and tell her that you are happy for her to see him, but you would like to meet him and invite him round for tea.  If he is a nice well mannered boy he will come.  My son was invited to go and see a girls mum, I went with him for moral support, he ended up spending more time round there house, going out shopping with her family etc than he did with me at home.  If you have an open and honest relationship with your daughter and show her that you are going to give her the responsibility to not do anything inappropriate she might surprise you and confide in you with any concerns that may come out of the relationship with the boy.

Jennifer - posted on 02/24/2009

My daughter just turned 16. She was allowed to go to girl/boy parties, but no dating until she was 16. Her first date was a school sponsored dance with a friend who she had been hanging out with. She's planning on asking another friend to the next school sponsored dance. They all still hang out as friends. For her it took the pressure off pairing off. She said she was glad she waited, I was too. My son is 18 and still doesn't date much, but didn't start until he was 16 too. It was an easy decision for my husband and I to make, he didn't date until 16. I dated about 15. We had very different experiences. I hope theirs are more like their dad's. Oh, and we encourage no steady dating in high school, but no rules.

Pati - posted on 02/24/2009

My daughter was not allowed to date till she was 16. she had some male friends, but they were not allowed to hang out alone. Nothing against any of the boys or my kid, just that she had a lot going on in her mind and body and life to be adding the emotional stress of a relationship to the pot. I was more concerned with her coming into her own and finding out a bit about her self than I was of her social status of not being able to date. Good Luck

Vania - posted on 02/23/2009

i think if your ready mentally about your daughter "making out", kissing, holding hands and emotionally going through a roller coaster every day until they break up, then you should let her.   i have a 14 year old and no shes not dating...:)

Maria - posted on 02/23/2009

My daugther is 13 and some of her friends have boyfriends she is not allowed to date until she is 16 ( I hope) I also have 3 older boys and they are always reminding me of how boys think at that age. They also have scared boys away.( I have always said that God gave me 3 boys to help me take care of 1 daughter) I may let her group date at 15 but that all depends on her maturity. we have a pretty good relationship and she talks to me or her brothers but she can also be stubborn. I hope she grow out of that.

Alison - posted on 02/23/2009

My daughter is 13 and just started high school (New Zealand) this month - even last year some girls her age had boyfriends!!  Her close friends aren't dating yet.  I know she likes boys and has had at least a couple who have liked her.  She has many friends who are boys ... but no boyfriends.  I have said she can go out in a group if she has a boyfriend, and can date alone from 15-16, ie go to the shopping mall or to the movies or to his house (if his parents are home).  I just make sure she knows what boys are like at that age ... and we have an open/honest/close relationship, so I'm hopeful that she will come to me if there are any problems, and so far, she talks to me about boys ... I'm making the most of it :)

Angie - posted on 02/22/2009

Our son was told 15 to group date and 16 to date alone. He isn't dating yet and he turned 16 in January.

Nancy - posted on 02/11/2009

I think the age of the boys they're dating needs to be considered. Our daughter's first date was on her 15th birthday and the boy was also 15. They were dependent on us to take them places and we got to know the boy very well during car rides. He also spent a lot of time at our house. Now that our daughter is a couple years older, we've continued to ask that boys she dates spend some time in our home, not just always go out somewhere.

Jodie - posted on 02/11/2009

My daughter is 14. I believe my husband told her when she was 8 that she couldn't date until she was 16!! Recently, she had her first "boyfriend" the only way she could see him outside of school was for me to chaperone them. I took them to the movies and sat 2 rows behind them the whole time. She has been told that if she wants to "hang out" with them and they were going out somewhere there would be a chaperone. I told her that they are always allowed to sit here at home and watch a movie as long as we were here. So far, it's only been the movies that one time. I trust my daughter, but as my husband says "I was a teenage boy once, I know what it's all about" I hoped this helped a little.

Jodie

Shelly - posted on 02/11/2009

Angie,

  We let our boy's start group dating at 15 ( unless it was a schooldance) but we had to know who they were going with, where they are going & what they are going to be doing!  Most of the time they were going to the movies and yes mom & dad would go check up on them not out of lack of trust but we were once teens too.  With my two older boys they were 17 before they went out on there alone date.  I don't know if dad is in the picture but what a friend of ours did was told thier daughter that if she was going to go out on a date that the boy had to take him out first....You might be amazed at how well that work for weeding out the flakes and wierdos....So when you get to the point of thinking you might let her date there is a tool for you...Just make sure you start now with preparing her that step so she's not all freaked out when you choose to use this...If dads not involved then you could do it yourself!!!