daughter and step dad hate each other

Brenda - posted on 07/22/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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how do you handle step-dad and daughter fighting all the time. i feel like i am being pulled both directions. love them both. both are hard headed

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Chaya - posted on 07/23/2012

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Who is instigating it? If step dad is, tell him to lay off. He's the adult, it's his repsponsibliity to behave like one. If she is, sit all parties involved down and have the adults explain to her that the situation isn't going to change.
I personally would refuse to marry anyone my children didn't approve of. I realize it isn't their choice, but they have to live with the guy too.

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Eileen - posted on 07/24/2012

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My daughter (16 in October) settled that one herself. While visiting her father for the summer, she decided she was staying there. I found out the day after I married. Because she is of age, there's no real fighting it. Certainly fighting it would not help anything.

To be fair, it was discussed last summer and at Christmas, but she's been complaining about living in FL (vs OH) since I moved 5 years ago. When she left, she was telling me how this is her home and she loves her HS.

Now, because family members have spoken with her and her father, but not to me about this latest change of heart, I feel betrayed. I have no recourse.

Kristi - posted on 07/24/2012

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I just read your other post, it's not a wonder why they argue if she is lying and stealing. If she steals everytime she goes to a friend's, don't let her go for awhile. When she lies or steals she needs consequences, strict ones, especially for stealing. If she is stealing from her friend's, you need to take her back over there and return it and apologize to her friend and her friend's parents. If she is stealing from you, like money, she has to work it off, in addition to grounding, taking away a privledge, something that lasts a little longer. (in both cases) You have to stick with them or she will run you over with a truck and she won't know what to expect, at all, which will carry over into everything else you tell her, good or bad. In conjunction, you need to talk to her on her level. Try to see where she's coming from.

http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-to...

I stoled this from another mom, I read it myself and found it very enlightening and beneficial. Some of the snipits sound like they are geared just for younger kids but they will make a difference on any child. I hope this helps.

Kristi - posted on 07/24/2012

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What are they fighting about? Is it stuff you should be dealing with? Are they fighting over discipline measures? How old is she, 13, from your other post or another one? Could her dad be instigating things?

Without much to go on, I would call a family meeting. I might go for walk, depending on how many of you there are or take a pinic to the park. It's on nuetral ground, nobody has the upper hand. Also people have better manners in public. (I'm not saying go to a playground and hash it out on the Merry-Go-Round) One way or another, your family needs to get to the root of the problem and go from there. If you can't figure that out, maybe they just need to agree that they disagree and walk away. (obviously, that depends on the situation.)

Good luck...

Susan - posted on 07/23/2012

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Brenda, I'm sure of all the deals. But if you're child is old enough. I would sit them both down and tell them there has to be some kind of common ground. Without all the yelling , that sometimes can go with it. Catch them off guard when they think things are great call them together and dump it all out. Let them know what they are doing to you. And if that does work get them some counseling their problem with each other may be more than you can handle by yourself. I wish you all the best and well pray for ya'll. Susan Cupp, u can contact me by email s1968snowbunny@yahoo.com , or find me on fb i live in arkansas

Susan - posted on 07/23/2012

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Brenda, I'm sure of all the deals. But if you're child is old enough. I would sit them both down and tell them there has to be some kind of common ground. Without all the yelling , that sometimes can go with it. Catch them off guard when they think things are great call them together and dump it all out. Let them know what they are doing to you. And if that does work get them some counseling their problem with each other may be more than you can handle by yourself. I wish you all the best and well pray for ya'll. Susan Cupp, u can contact me by email s1968snowbunny@yahoo.com , or find me on fb i live in arkansas

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