Daughter asked if her boyfriend could sleep over in her bed?

Theresa - posted on 04/12/2012 ( 93 moms have responded )

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My 15 year old is on spring break this week and just asked if her boyfriend of a year could sleep over tonight (in her bed.) I know they have been having sex for the past six months and she is on bc and using condoms. Part of me thinks why not, they are already active but the other part of me is how I was raised and know my mother would never have let that happen in our house growing up. I'm really mixed on this and wondered if anybody else has allowed this and how did it work out?

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It is a huge sign of trust that your daughter even asked. First of all it shows that your daughter knows how to ask for what she wants and in turn be able to say no to something she doesn't want. It also shows that she respects you by simply asking rather than expecting him to be allowed to stay over.



Since you know they are having sex, and have been for six months, you telling them he can't sleep over in her bed is not going to stop them having sex. It will do nothing on that front. If your daughter is asking for him to stay the night then the relationship has moved from being all about sex (which it was 6 months ago) to "I really love and trust this boy. I want to share falling asleep and waking up in the same bed as him". That shows a great level of intimacy on the side of your daughter.



My questions would be 1. How well do you know the boy and his parents? Have you spoken to him one on one? Have you spoken to his parents about this? 2. Do you trust your daughter? If yes, then let him stay the night. If no then where were you 6 months ago? 3. What does your mother have to with it? Just because she raised you a certain way doesn't mean that way was right. It was just her way. Now you can choose what way you want your daughter to perceive you.



You don't have to be the cool parent but by respecting your daughter's need for intimacy (yes, I said intimacy and not sex) then you are showing respect to her feelings. If the boy has stuck around after a year (half of that where he was getting sex) then I think it shows that he respects and loves her. He didn't leave her once he started getting sex. He stayed around.



Its a tough decision but I can tell you that intimacy is on their minds, not sex and they can achieve that intimacy together on the couch in the family space with you in the same room on a mattress or with the door to her room open all night.



Its up to you to make the final decision. I can only but offer my point of view.

Deborah - posted on 05/22/2012

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So true. Having sex at 15 is not responsible and a mother that approves it is setting the wrong standard.

Tabitha - posted on 04/13/2012

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I can't even imagine this being a question! So what if they've already been active, does that mean you can give them the "go ahead" and provide a place for it to happen?? NO! Just because they have had sex, doesn't mean it's ok that they continue to do it. When you found out that they've had sex, did you say, "Ok I'm glad you're being safe" or did you let her know that sex is an adult action that carries adult consequences, and that while she's a minor, it's against the rules? And I believe that it's illegal until a certain age anyway.

HONEY, YOU NEED TO GET CONTROL OF THAT GIRL BEFORE YOU BECOME A GRANNY!!

Jay - posted on 09/09/2012

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This is just "my opinion" Hell No. To me, its bad enough to actually know she's having sex at 15. But to know she's doing it under the same roof as you and the rest of the family....hell no. My daughter isn't crazy enough to even ask if a boy can come stay for spring break, and ask if they can sleep in the same bed!!!??? Please.... We are our kids parents, not their friends. But like i said, my opinion and i hope it doesnt offend you.

Shannon - posted on 01/11/2013

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This is really YOUR and her Dad's decision - and you will get a lot of slack from parents if you do - and your daughter if you don't. (And your daughters friends parents! "Suzie's mom lets her boyfriend sleepover" - guess what, Suzie's friends won't be allowed to sleep over at your place anymore!) )YOU have to make the rules for your house. Are you willing to KNOW what they are doing in her room at night? Cause i can guarantee you - it will be just THAT .... and personally i couldn't handle knowing that.

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Corona0611 - posted 4 days ago

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The guy is 20, she is 17. Either wait until she's 18 and responsible for her own decisions or put him in jail for statutory rape, but never give up until you have tried every possible solution and approach! If you do, you will live out the rest of your life with a regret of 'what if' should things go terribly wrong for her. Get her on BC now and provide protection for her to prevent pregnancy should she decide to take the next step. If her grades are declining, suspend her phone line for a week, take other privileged things away (I've gone as far as taking my daughter's favorite outfits and shoes away, leaving her with plenty of things in her closet that she doesn't like to wear). You're the mom, use your parental authority and capabilities!

Cyndi - posted 6 days ago

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Proud to say both my teenagers 16 girl and almost 18 boy are virgins. I couldn't imagine my daughter at 15 doing it! Just babies!! Anyway, I have tried to share God's view on sex with them and be very open to any discussions on the matter. There are diseases, pregnancy, strong emotional bonds etc that occur even if you don't have faith in God and I have shared them with my kids. All my friends who were allowed to do this (bring sex into the home with parents approval) have now grown up and been dumped or cheated on by their man. There is something to say for making a man respect you enough to keep his hands off until he proves he loves you and is willing to settle for you and you only! That's what I'm teaching my girl and my boy I told him you have no right to touch your girlfriend as she may be someone else's wife someday! He has now had 2 girlfriends and the break ups went smooth since there was no regrets. There is a new girl in his life and they are being long time friends before even considering dating. By the way, the only good marriages I know of were from people who were absolutely best friends first and didn't focus on the sex thing. Not to say that some didn't eventually do it but, best friends last forever.

Brianne - posted on 09/02/2014

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As a girl who became sexually active at 16, I find the previous comments offending. Just because your daughter became sexually active at a young age doesn't mean your parenting style is at blame, nor does it mean that your daughter is inevitably going to have kids early. There are multiple influences and pressures women experience (as well as men) that affect their decisions, especially when it comes to defining the norms of interpersonal relationships with people of the preferred gender. Accepting your daughter's decision has clearly established a respectful and trustful relationship between the two of you, as demonstrated by her willingness to ask you if her boyfriend could spend the night. You have also still provided her healthy guidance by encouraging her to use contraceptives (great!.) Young women need good support systems. If you don't want to hear her having sex at your house, then I would communicate that, but sleeping next to someone does not strictly mean that sex is the main objective. Sleeping next to your lover is healthy, maintaining good communicate and an openminded relationship with your daughter is key.

Marie - posted on 04/09/2014

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my 17 yr old is still a virgin but has met a 20 yr old guy who she now "loves" - she has told me she wants to leave my house (and her hs) and go live with him and go to a hs nearby! My husband says if she leaves this house and her HS, she will not come back. especially if she gets pregnant. I am so upset. What do I do? my daughter "hates me" and my husband is ready to divorce me over our daughter. I feel trapped, jhurt and terribly unhappy. over the past few years she and I have not been close - its a struggle to get her to do her homework and maintain a B aveage. I am an overachiever and have been academically successful. I try to understand her, but find her lazy, unmotivated, disrespectful and aimless. part of me says just let her go and let her find out the hard way and another part, says don't give up! I am at my wits end.

CalistasMom - posted on 04/06/2014

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If it's a long-term committed thing, it's hard to see why not. I have a 16 y.o. who has a slightly younger b.f. who stays over fairly often. I would rather have them in a nice clean safe home than somewhere I don't know about. She takes The Pill religiously, is very open and honest about everything (I make her leave the Pill packets out so I can easily see that she is up to date), and I would be making it up if I said I could really find a problem with this. It is what it is. You can't put a genie back in the bottle. It's a little close in our small apartment; we all share the same bathroom and that's really the only thing I really mind. They aren't disrespectful in the least. Only thing I am puzzled by is how my daughter uses words that were once quite rude as everyday, polite speech.

Valerie - posted on 03/03/2014

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Kimberly, you explained this very clearly and I totally agree with you. When teens get to be 13 - 16 they start developing the same urges, emotions, and feelings we adults do. Even though many of us had sex in our teens it isn't something we would ever encourage our own kids to do but we can accept it.

My girls know that sex in a committed relationship should not be something to be ashamed about and it's a natural human need. My girls are now 17 and 15 and both are in what they consider to be serious relationships. I put my oldest on depo at 15 and my youngest went on it 6 months ago. I began allowing my 17 yr olds bf to stay over on weekends when they turned 16. With my youngest I just started allowing them to spend the night two weeks ago. I allowed the sleepovers based on the fact that I knew they were already active, they were in serious relationships and I did not want them having to sneak around to have sex.

Each parent has to do what they themselves are comfortable with and I know that many parents would not allow this. However I do not believe that sex can be a very important and wonderful part of a relationship. Thank you Kimberly for expressing this opinion so well.

Kimberly - posted on 03/02/2014

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Camaron Raymond, your post is a bit harsh towards Shirley McLean as she was only giving her thoughts and those thoughts were reqested by Teresa Laraway with her original post. Shirley, like you and the rest of us, is entitled to her thoughts and to share them. Actually, Teresa somewhat limited it to those of us who have allowed it, and I would presume that would also include a desire to hear the thoughts of Tiffany Kitty-True.

I thought Tiffany Kitty-True did a good job of framing her thoughts on the subject. I think the thoughts of my 17 and 20 year old daughters would mirror those thoughts.

I fall into the thinking expressed in Claire Osbourne's short post. My daughter were both 15 when the guys they are still with started "sleeping over" with them and vice versa and I had put them on the birth control implant when they started high school so that they would not have a baby as a teen like I did at 16 and 19.

I don't see it as being disrespectful to me for them to do it at home. . I suppose because i see nothing wrong with responsible teen sex, which only about 90% of teens participate in to some degree before they turn 20. (I did ask them not to do in mine and by boyfriends bed or let things be heard outside their bedrooms.).

Teresa expressed that her daughter is on BC and has been doing it with the guy for six months. Her concern seems to be what her mother would have done and nothing was mentioned about Teresa not wanting it.

I would suggedt that Teresa or any other parent might want to put her daughter on one of the forms of BC that is less prone to failure due to user error. Those would be IUD, Depo shot, and the implant.

Having said all this, I have no quarrel with anyone with a different view..


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Claire - posted on 03/02/2014

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Yes I do allow it with mine primarily because it's a long term relationship, she is on bc, and I'd rather they not sneak around.

Cameron - posted on 03/02/2014

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Shirley McLean, mother of teenage daughter and guava girl... Your kids hate you. I hate you just reading your response. Relax and let them live their lives. Put them in a box... Ha you'll see.

Cameron - posted on 03/02/2014

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I say yes. Let them sleep together! Didn't you want that kind of fredom as a teen? I did and was fortunate enough to to have cool parents that were down to earth.

Tiffany - posted on 02/10/2014

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A lot of these comments are so harsh and really judging you as a parent...
This is coming from a 17 year old girl with a boyfriend of 7 months.
My mom has no problem letting us sleep in the same bed and his parents make us sleep in different beds (because of his little brother and sister.)
For her to even ask you shows she is comfortable with you and for you to know she's having sex and not be upset shows your relationship is on another level.
I feel like everyone is giving you the same response, "What would other parents do?" And my answer (and my mom's answer) to that is You Don't Have To Be Every Other Parent. You know how you parent and what's right for your daughter- not everyone else.
For me, sleeping with my boyfriend is an amazing thing. I'm scared of the dark and have nightmares but when we sleep together I feel safe in the dark and I don't have nightmares- if I do, it makes me feel so much better to wake up next to him. I feel like by sleeping together our relationship is stronger and that we feel more secure together. We both know we can accept each other as people and a significant other. It takes a WHOLE LOT OF TRUST to be able to wake up next to each other with bad breath, eye boogers, morning hair and smell. And it takes a whole lot of trust for your daughter to let that happen.
Just because they're having sex does not mean: 1. They'll have sex all night. 2. That this will provoke them to have sex more often. 3. They'll have sex when they wake up. And I think it's ridiculous that people are acting that way.
Your daughter is smart enough to use protection, smart enough to tell you, and smart enough to ask. Yes, she's young, but I'm only two years older and started sleeping with my boyfriend when I was 16.
My main advice is don't worry about other parents. You're her mother; not anyone else and you know her better than anyone else. If you feel like it's a terrible idea, don't allow it. But make sure you think about everything before you decide no.

Susan - posted on 02/05/2014

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I see no reason to object.My son (14) has no specific girlfriend but many female friends.They sleep over here at my son at their places from time to time Mostly in different beds.And he has done so since he was 4. Last week had two girls here overnight they slept on two mattresses but essentially as one bed.
I feel one should encourage having friends of both genders and sleep overs are part of this

Shirley - posted on 01/18/2014

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As a mom of two sons I would never allow them to do that . First of all as mothers we must teach our children morals and values. Your daughter is precious to you and you want the best in life for her. If you allow her boyfriend to sleep in your house then they both wont respect you and worst of all he will not treat her like a princess and love her because he is already getting some that is so sacred before marriage. Young ladies who does that never have s happy marriage and if that relationship does not work and she meet someone else that really loves her she will regret her decision in the past and will blame you for telling her it was okay. Stand your ground do not allow it in your house . If they go some where else then there is nothing you can do and the blame won't be on you but her. Young people don't understand that the choices they make now will come back later and ruin their lives so we as parents are place in their lives to direct them in the right path he could be only using her for his pleasure and go on to someone else and do the same

Nicole - posted on 01/18/2014

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Be wary! Would the boy's parents approve (assuming he, too, is a minor)? If your daughter should somehow become pregnant, what sort of reaction could you then expect from the boy's parents? Your daughter is underage in most states to consent to sex, so you need to consider the legal ramifications of being an accessory to statutory rape --and if cell phone pics are taken and posted online, to child pornography complications.

Vic - posted on 12/02/2013

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I'm with you a mom has to refer to strangers to deal with personal issues.will you tell your daughter you got your answer from a website and they said no so she won't be mad at you. I say absolutely not. She's a baby tell her to find that same place she's been having sex at and do it there not in my house

Guava - posted on 11/26/2013

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Uhmm... HORRIBLE idea. WAY too young to have sex and way too young to be sleeping next to eachother. What ever happened to morals?

Jada Brooke - posted on 11/15/2013

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wow... its not approving your daughter having sex.... its the fact that she actually told you and trusted you with that... i remember when i told my mom i first started having sex at 15.. she cried because she knew how much i trusted her enough to sit down and tell her... and im 20 now.. i haven't gotten pregnant and the first time my boyfriend stayed the night was on my 17th birthday and we didn't have sex... we watched a movie and fell asleep in each others arms... and we have been together almost 5 years... i love him and he was the one i trusted and gave my virginity too..

Patricia - posted on 05/05/2013

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I'd have let her do it. They're already having sex, one more night isn't gonna change anything.

Mother Of Teenage - posted on 04/15/2013

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But knowing you are allowing them to do it in ur house... do you know how bad of a parent tht makes you. shame...

Sheryll - posted on 04/15/2013

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I can't believe you already don't know the answer for yourself. Common sense should dictate what the answer is...I hope you find the right answer for yourself.

Julia - posted on 01/06/2013

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I have a 16 yr old daughter and I know she is having sex.Took her to the doctor to get the depo shot so I know she won't forget to take the pill.But they won't have sex under my roof once you let them start playing house and shacking up in your home they lose all respect for you.

Evelyn - posted on 11/27/2012

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I have not had this happen. I have had though the boyfriend come stay at my house but my daughter stayed with her grandparents. I had my son at home so the boys got to spend time together playing games and stuff...my son got along well with his sister's boyfriend at the time. That solved the problem of them sleeping over in the same house...place them where they can't. And if this BF lives close enough by why have him overnight at all? What is wrong with doing things during the day and through the early evening and then going home. This is the kind of thing that advocates the type of things they want to do. Be the parent and lay the law down and tell them no. They are never going to learn responsible behavior if you condone the wrong behavior in the first place. You even said your own mother would not let it happen when you were growing up so why should you be any different? I know kids will find a way but do you have to enable them?

Clara - posted on 10/25/2012

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Well, You shouldn't lat a 15 year old girl do that. Sex is a beutiful, yet awful thing, but do you want to be a grandmother at 20? NO. and your daughter doesent have time to be a 16 year old mother. Telll your kids alll of this ok

L R - posted on 10/19/2012

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This is the most idiotic question! I am so sorry to have said that but you asked for it! First of all, where are your morals? Are you setting an example for your daughter? You need to emphasize that she has her whole life ahead of her and that at her age, it's just totally unacceptable. You need to take her to a group where there are teenage girls with children to see if that is what she wants as well as STD! Do Not under no circumstance allow this to happen! She will blame you later on for her misfortune and rightfully so!

VALEENE - posted on 10/15/2012

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I say stick to the way you where raised coz by u doing that you are simply telling its ok if she comes home preggies

Jennifer - posted on 10/10/2012

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Well Theresa you already have a ton of replies and i can see now that this happened awhile ago, so i guess my answer is more for the purpose of carrying on a debate and to respond to the others who have responded recently.

So as to the question- i think its a big no no. I have 2 girls (15/16) and i think my eldest may be sexually active, and thats...ok with me. However, if she asked if a boy could sleep in her bed with her, i'd tell her she's crazy. there is no way i would allow that. Your girl is sexually active, and part of you thinks "why not" and i hear you, but giving her a place to have sex freely just doesnt sit well with me. My niece is almost 18 and has a daughter a year old. And she got pregnant in her bedroom with the boy that was allowed to sleep in there with her. And i think, maybe if she wasnt given free reign, and had to sneak around to have sex (like we did) then maybe she wouldnt have gotten pregnant.

Rose - if your daughter made a video of her giving a boy a BJ at 14, and she's 16 now, do you really think she hasnt taken it a step further yet? You know her much better than I, and not throwing judgement here, but cmon, she has a 'sexual' history, and she sleeps in the same bed with boys, i'd bet my house she's doing more than sleeping.

and Ashley - your certainly correct, times HAVE changed, back when most us on here were growing up we either didnt have sex or had to sneak around to do it. And now its much more socially accepted to have sex young, and thats ok with me, i started having sex when i was 15, but i wasnt "allowed" to do it. And back then, when sex wasnt quite as ok, we didnt have 10 pregnant girls in every high school, and abortion rates through the roof. So yeah times have changed...are they better?

Melanie - posted on 10/10/2012

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my daughter is 15 and i dont even allow her to date yet! we have to set positive examles for our girls ,this only leads to early pregnancy ,regret of having these relationships at such a very young age.no way dont let that happen

Danielle - posted on 10/09/2012

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Wow!! I'm sorry, I can't believe this is even a question. She is FIFTEEN!!! She is a minor, and not even close to being an adult, and you are questioning whether you should condone adult behavior?? Your job is to guide and direct a child in the way they should go, and I don't think this is what it means.

Rose - posted on 10/07/2012

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I allow my 16 year old daughter to have her boyfriend spend the night and sleep in the same bed. According to my daughter they haven't done anything, but I'm not really so sure. I know when my daughter was 14 I found a video on her phone of her giving a guy a blowjob! According to her that's the only thing she has ever done. I think since your daughter is already sexually active with this boy and she's being safe then it's alright I guess. I think you should really talk to her about this though....

Ashley - posted on 10/07/2012

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I don't see what the big deal is whether or not the boyfriend is allowed to sleep over. I'm fifteen yet my boyfriend of nine months can't sleep over but my friend, same age, is allowed to have her boyfriend of a few months spend the night in her bed with her. It all depends on how much trust you have for them and your level of comfort-ability knowing that your daughter is in the next room sleeping with her boyfriend. It also depends on how mature the couple is and how "in love" they are.

If it were me, I'd let them spend the night as a tester night, and it all goes well then they could have a sleep over three times a month. (i really wish my mum thinks the same way I do). Hope this helps. :) also remember, times HAVE changed. Things aren't how they used to be.

Trina - posted on 10/05/2012

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BUT HE CAN NOT BRING HIS GIRLFRIEND IN HIS ROOM AT ALL. SHE IS WELCOME IN MY HOME BUT ONLY IN THE FAMILY AREA.

Douglas - posted on 10/04/2012

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Are you people who said 'Wait till marriage' actually serious?? What a bunch of outdated old farts.

Dilara - posted on 09/21/2012

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I think you should. You just need to put your trust in her. I'm not a mum, i'm 15 years old. I joined because I disagree with some peoples accusations. I recommend that a teenagers perspective is more important. If you don't want him sleeping in the bed you can make a deal with your daughter and let him stay the night but on the couch.

Jessica - posted on 09/19/2012

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I am 22 and my boyfriend is 21 - we have been dating for 6 years, we both still live with our parents and are not allowed to stay in the same room let alone in the same bed. We are even saving a house deposit and plan on buying somewhere in January of next year. Sleeping in the same bed is something that is simply not done in either of our families when you are just dating, and I can say with conviction that I will be taking the same approach with my own children. I would never even think of asking my parents if my boyfriend could stay in my bed.



Ultimately, it doesn't matter if your daughter is sexually active or not. If you have a rule that boyfriends cannot sleep in the same bed, then the rule should remain. What would be your response if she wanted some random guy she met a party to sleepover in her bed? I think you would say no.

Mary - posted on 09/15/2012

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I understand everyone’s concerns. However, when I was 15 my boyfriend would spend the night. My mother did not want me in the back seat of the car. (I had the same boyfriend from 14 – 18) I think it was a very healthy relationship. We learned a lot during those years. His parents were upset at first but came around to the idea.



So, my answer would be yes. I would allow it. Especially if they are already active.

Natosha - posted on 09/14/2012

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If you condone that activity you condone the consequences and possibilities of sexual activites most teens these days are active and though your daughter may not like you disagreeing with her wishes now she will respect you drawing the line in the future. You seem okay and your mother didnt allow you to have your boyfriend in the bed with you. It is hard to feel you disappoint your teens I understand first hand but we are parents not friends.

Debbie - posted on 09/14/2012

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NO NO NO! I was a very "open" mom and let one of my daughters (I have 3) have her boyfriend spend the night. He ended up being a very controlling person and while she said she consented to having sex, she did end up getting pregnant and he forced her to run away or he wouldn't let her see their son. Granted this is a worst case scenario, and not everyone is like him, but at their ages they are so not ready for this level of commitment or responsibility. You need to stand your ground and not permit them to have sex under your roof. Your roof, your rules!

Alexandra - posted on 09/13/2012

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No, I would not allow that. Just because I don't agree. I would want to have a serious talk with my daughter and explain her why.

BethAnn - posted on 09/13/2012

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WHAT THE HECK????? I think the answer is a clear NO NO NO!!!! Why is a 15 year old having sex???? Check out these links to help you sort this out- http://www.purefreedom.org/



http://www.focusonthefamily.ca/parenting...



http://www.drjamesdobson.org/search-resu...



It sounds like you and your teen needs some serious famliy time. My children will NOT be allowed to have boyfriends let alone date at that young age. What have happened to morals and values and teaching our kids to NOT have sex till they are married??? I truly am shocked at waht I am reading and that someone would even ask such a question...

Natalie - posted on 09/13/2012

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You all sound like great moms. I only have a 3 year old so im not speaking as a parent as much as I am remembering my teenage years. As a parent, I want to say no. But there are factors to consider. First, she's on bc, So at least they are responsible (or pretending to be responsible). I agree with watching the family dynamic. Make sure you aren't setting bad examples for anyone else or putting stress on your own marriage because you disagree.



However, as a teenager, my sexual experience started at 15 and I know I'm not supposed to say this, but it was wonderful! And it was something I really wanted to do. I told my mom I wanted birth control. She let me get it. She told me that she believed I was too young still. That if you date again, you will always be expected to have sex again, etc.relationship talk. Like an adult. She made me feel good but she let me know that she didn't agree with my decision. And, if at any time I wanted to stop having sex, I can. Just because you do it once doesn't mean, you're ready to be sexually active. In that sense, I felt so much freedom. And, like I said, it was a wonderful year. And when I felt like my boyfriend was taking advantage of the situation. When my mom mentioned that our place felt like a motel, I had been feeling the same way. I broke up with him. I dated someone else, and did not have sex with him. He wasn't ready. We carry so much shame and guilt with sex. It can be wonderful. Tricky, yes, but as a growing woman, she has a lot of power. I always felt I had control. I was lucky. I was also built that way. I knew girls that had no interest in it. That was not their parents, that was them. That was the way they were made! I know this is a long story. But it really depends on the individual.

So my advice is to allow it if you think all of you are capable. But just like a single mom who invites the bf over, everyone has to sign off and have open communication. If you think this is just a whim or more his idea, that's different.

Alice - posted on 09/10/2012

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Speaking as a 15 year old myself, I think you should let them as long as you trust them. Just because they're only in they're teens, doesn't mean they can't be mature about it. I hate the typical stereo type some people have for teenagers. Many teens think just like adults and it's not fair to be grouped with the irresponsible youngsters out there. I'm sure there are plenty of adults that are more irresponsible than teens! I know that if I was allowed my boyfriend to sleep over, I wouldn't use the opportunity to have sex, I would cherish and appreciate being able to fall asleep in the arms of the one I love, then waking up and being able to say 'good morning beautiful'. I feel like most adults take this for granted and if I was allowed, it would mean so much to me and my boyfriend. Maybe you should have a talk with your daughter and ask what her intentions of him staying over are. After all, the key to a good, trustworthy relationship is communication.

Tori - posted on 09/08/2012

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if their already active and are using protection, then why not? My son has his girlfriend round all the time and i know they are active and taking the proper precautions. if you are that worried about it then sit down and talk to your daughter about it, tell her what you think about the situation and let her feedback to you and see if you can set some ground rules. But don't say 'no' harshly or suddenly because she will rebel and not care any more and do as she pleases and will end up with an unwanted pregnancy. If you have young children as well then tell them they are not to have sex while you and the children are in the house.

Rachel - posted on 09/01/2012

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Teens have no business being in a sexual relationship ...period. There are consequences of which their underdeveloped brains cannot cope nor handle without severe repercussions. It baffles me how many moms think their teenage son or daughter is 'beyond their years' and 'amaze them with their uncanny sense of responsibility'. I agree that some teens are advanced intellectually and have a healthy emotional disposition. But in the end, even these lucky teens shouldn't be engaging in adult activities. Parents should NOT be providing an environment that exposes their teen to situations that set them up for things that their developing brains can't appropriately filter nor handle. It isn't so much a moral issue as it is a common sense issue. Many parents think that allowing their child to 'go ahead' of the crowd so it will 'teach them early and give them a head start' are completely out of touch with what the natural development of a human being involves. We're all different, but yet we're all the same when it boils down to the developmental phases of the mind. Teens have no business having sex.

Christina - posted on 07/16/2012

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NO WAY should your daughter's boyfriend be able to sleep in the bed with your daughter. He can sleep on the floor or even on the couch. If they don't like it,the b/f doesn't spend the night..

Chaya - posted on 07/05/2012

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Don't let them, you can't stop them from having sex, but you can make it difficult. If you allow it, she'll walk all over you for the rest of her life.
My dad told me I share a room with the guy after I was married to him. I didn't marry the guy to be allowed to have sex, but my dad was willing to allow us to share a room

Hope - posted on 07/05/2012

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My lord....no disrespect here but if I tried to ask my mother that question she would quickly respond with a HE(double hockey sticks) NO! The reason being: those two are teenagers. If they want to play house, cohabitate or whatever- they can do so when they are grown ups. So for your daughter, I'd say tough luck kid. It's part of growing up.
The comments about how this mother could lack some control as a parent are WAAAY off base. You all need to check yourself before judging someone else's situation. I'm pretty sure half of you who commented on that have no clue if your teenager is even having sex or not. At least her daughter is comfortable enough to talk to her mother about sex. Just because her teen asks that type of question doesn't mean she isn't in control, that's a ridiculous assumption right there.

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