Laura - posted on 08/19/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )
I am new to this forum but I have been looking for a place to post thoughts and feelings about my teens. I have 4 kids, 3 of which are teens. 17, 16, (both boys) and a 13yoa (girl) who will be 14 in 3 months. She is only in the 7th grade due to failing the 3rd grade because of the FCAT, so all of the girls in her classes are younger than she is.
My daughter is in that stage of having friends that you've grown up with for so many years, that start to break off into different social groups at school. The 2 girls who were her BFF's since 2nd and 3rd grade, now rarely talk to her and never invite her to any social gatherings. They hang out with this one popular girl who seems to rule the school. My daughter has other friends, but for some reason what these girls have, or are doing leave my daughter feeling like she is not good enough. Not pretty enough or not popular enough.
I discussed this year about putting her in cheerleading. (pop warner). Her old BF was going to join this year so my daughter was super excited about it, until she found out that the popular girl decided to cheer this year. When they started to choose teams, it goes by age she is on the Senior Squad and her friend and the popular girl are on the JV squad. I told her that she needed to not worry about what they were doing and focus on being on the Senior squad. She was happy about that, until tonight when they preformed at the pep rally (after 3 wks of practice) and the JV squad was a bit better than her squad. I told her she did awesome they did!! but she got in the car and was in tears because she felt that her squad sucked and everyone was saying that. I think mostly because her old friend and the other girl were on the JV team and it bothered her. I told her that she needed to be positive and that is not very good for team spirit.
Honestly, i sometimes think i help her but sometimes I get angry too. Seeing my daughter left out. It takes me back to my days when middle school sucked and i didn't have any friends. I'm just feeling helpless. Anyone have any advice? I know there is no quick fix, but all of my advice doesn't seem to work.