Do i need to talk to my kids about how masturbation or not?

Tammy - posted on 09/24/2016 ( 25 moms have responded )

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My 13 year old son has most obviously started masturbating, and it seems to be a lot. I have walked in on him several times, he takes really long showers, and i think he is even doing it into his socks because when i went to do some of his laundry, to my unpleasant surprise, tthere were a lot of crusty socks. My daughter is 15 and i know she is doing it as well but it is nowhere as much (or as obvious)
Do i need to talk to them about this or just let them be?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/24/2016

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He is not demonstrating any need of attention, he is a normal teen. Make him do his own laundry and leave it at that

Gergana - posted on 09/25/2016

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You're doubting that he is viewing porn .In what planet are you living ? The Porn is everywhere with that technology that our kids understand better than us . I seriously don't know a teenager that is not hooked into porn nowadays. Especially for the boys!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/24/2016

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Gergana, quit trolling.

Semen stains on socks is far from a huge deal. Having raised 2 boys who are now 19 and 22, I speak with plenty of experience. My kids both have done their own laundry since they were 10, and when they needed to get out stains, they learned how, just as you, I, or anyone else would.

Dove - posted on 09/24/2016

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Well if he's viewing porn that is 100% inappropriate, but Tammy doesn't mention anything about porn.

As long as he is maintaining a balance of other activities (school, chores, social interactions, etc...) however much he does it as well is not really an issue. He won't give himself an infection by shooting semen into a dirty sock... or into/on anything else. It might be worth bringing his attention to the socks and letting him know that it is normal, but not something his mother should have to clean up for him. Teach him how to do the laundry and leave it at that.

No, I don't yet have a teenage boy, but my daughters have been doing the family laundry since they were 10 and they are almost 15 now. I honestly have no idea if they masturbate or not as it's none of my business. We have had many, many, many sex ed talks over the years (one as recently as Wednesday), but their bodies are THEIRS to touch or not touch as they see fit.... so long as no one ELSE is touching them... it's none of my business. ;)

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Sarah - posted on 02/10/2017

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Masturbation good and healthy, I'd advise you talk to them about, at the very least so they know you are okay with it, both of them (not together). They'll be embarrassed so don't worry that you may find if difficult to raise the topic of masturbation.
PM me if you want some specific advice.

Jamie - posted on 01/24/2017

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We all masturbate, at least we all should. Self care comes on all levels. My son 16 and daughter 17 both started masturbating early on- maybe around 11 or 12. It didn't take much for me to notice and sat them down individually to discuss their new hobby and that it was completely normal.

I'm very against shaming sexuality. Went with my daughter at 16 to pick out her first vibe. We've always been very open about these sorts of things and its kept us close. Yes, my son does it way more than either she or I do but he's a boy and I believe its different. I've explained that while porn isn't bad, like most things, too much is too much. Just that he shouldn't NEED it to please himself.

As for the crusty sock, yes I've had my fair share of run ins with those. It's better than an unwanted pregnancy or finishing himself on the carpet or couch. =)

Sarah - posted on 11/27/2016

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Masturbating into a sock - I have to say that is a new one to me, and I thought I knew quite a bit about masturbation.
But then - I know more about female masturbation, only have one son (and a husband - not the same person!) three daughters one sister...

Cindy - posted on 11/22/2016

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The sock thing is perfectly normal. It's clearly a lot harder for boys than girls, there "evidence" to hide persay for boys. It's the right size and shape for what they're doing & it catches all the semen. And they can't get a sock pregnant ! Lol Just throw them in the laundry like anything else and be happy that he's having "safe sex" Lol bigger things in life to worry about then crusty socks.

Dove - posted on 09/25/2016

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Porn is everywhere and is easy to access... even accidentally (just have Snapchat and have bored idiot 'friends' in the middle of the night...), but if you don't know a single teenager that is not hooked on porn... either you don't know very many teenagers or evey teenager you know has crappy parents. Porn is NOT normal behavior. Curiosity is certainly normal... being exposed to it happens... but it is not acceptable on any level whatsoever.

Gergana... are you a teenager? Or are you a parent of a teenager that is failing your kid?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/25/2016

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Gergana,quit trolling. Also, stop generalising. Just because your son has, and is allowed to have, inappropriate actions in this regard in no way means ALL teenage boys get into porn.

Tammy - posted on 09/24/2016

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Hey Dove, no i have not discovered any porn. I think him doing his own laundry is a good idea. My daughter is 15 and i know she was/is masturbating but she is so much more careful about it and obviously does not leave crusty clothing behind. Its just way simpler to have your daughter take long baths or spend time in her room than your son having a garbage full of crusty tissues or filling socks with semen haha. (not funny but still somehow have to laugh I guess)

Tammy - posted on 09/24/2016

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Ya maybe you're right and it is time for him to start doing his own laundry instead of me not trusting that he will do it properly, or at all. I kind of new when he became a teen this kind of stuff would happen but i actually didn't know if the sock thing was normal so its kind of relieving to hear you say some of that

Gergana - posted on 09/24/2016

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You will be suprised to find what the porn does for the kids these days. Only the time will show why he does it. But if a person wants to be cautious you will never know a thing about it.

Tammy - posted on 09/24/2016

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Yeah i agree with you, it is definitely normal,and this is not some weird thing going on where he is trying to demonstrate something for my approval like the other poster is saying. I think he is just doing it so much everyone knows and he is being careless. I just don't know if i needed to talk to him because if how much he seems to be doing it or not.

Tammy - posted on 09/24/2016

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I also dont think semen on clothing stains btw, its more the idea that i dont know if i need to be talking with him about how much it is going on

Tammy - posted on 09/24/2016

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haha he is demonstrating masturbation for my approval?? I think he is just doing it so much he is starting be careless more than anything, not some weird Freudian stuff going on.

Gergana - posted on 09/24/2016

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Seems like you never did a laudry yourself . Old cum crust stains are hard to handle even for an experience mom ,not mention for a distracted teenager

Gergana - posted on 09/24/2016

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That's because he is demonstrating to you his masturbation in desperate seek of your approval. You need to talk to him and explain him everything . He will made you do it at some point either way.

Tammy - posted on 09/24/2016

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I guess i never thought about if he is using dirty ones, clean ones, the same one. I don't exactly want to talk to my 13 year old about masturbating into socks but maybe i might have to i dont know

Tammy - posted on 09/24/2016

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Im not just busting into his room at any moment. Ive walked in on him doing it in the upstairs den watching tv, twice, once in his room and i have knocked ever since, and just that mixed with other times i know he is doing it so i didn't know if i should be having a conversation. As for the socks, i guess he should be doing his own laundry if that is happening but i don't know if he will actually do his laundry being only 13

Gergana - posted on 09/24/2016

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Of course ,different kind of sponges if he uses the dirty socks. They will stay in the organism not manifesting but he wiil expirience discomfort and law abdominal pain with time.

Dove - posted on 09/24/2016

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Stop walking in on him. Respect his privacy and tell him to start doing his own laundry. Doing it into his sock doesn't put him at risk for anything except needing to wash crusty socks.

Tammy - posted on 09/24/2016

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Yah i know boys at that age have an extremely high amount of hormones going on and they are going to be doing it. its not exactly something i wanted to talk with either of them about but i wasn't sure if because i need to talk to one of them about it, i might as well talk to both? I don't know if he is using dirty socks or clean ones, i just know when i went to do is laundry there were a bunch of crusty ones. It took me awhile to clue in, and then i kind of figured out why. Can he get an infection from doing that?

Gergana - posted on 09/24/2016

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Most defenetily with your son . He can get an infection if he uses dirty socks . Boys need positive feedback from my expirience. Girls can appriciate some guidance also ,but their libido is not so high like boys.

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