Vawny (Siobhan) - posted on 06/06/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )
I'm lucky. My kids are leaving their teen years and have turned out wonderfully! But God knows it wasn't always lookin’ so promising--especially when I became the SINGLE mom of two teens.. (Sometimes I still can't believe I survived...that all three of us survived!)
I'd like to start by saying, (most emphatically) Moms--DO choose your battles. Most of the things about your teen that you’re coming un-glued about, (at least internally) are NOTHING in the scheme of things. Do not make the mistake of being "MOMMY INTENSE!" There is no surer way to drive your teen away--and most likely in the dreaded direction you were desperately trying to avert!
Believe it or not, your REACTION to things—ALL things related to the issue at hand or not, is one of the biggest predictors of their reaction to things—that’s to include their reaction to you!
Be stable, be cool, be able to have feelings without acting them out and ROLE MODEL THIS BEHAVIOR FOR THEM! At least half the time you think THEY’RE the ones being dramatic and intense, YOU’RE the one who’s setting the stage Mom. Sorry. Just sayin..