FIrst Boyfriend

Jackie - posted on 02/12/2009

Awesome!!!!--That is good to hear!

Darlene - posted on 02/12/2009

So, we had the first meeting and I have to say it went very well. I asked question throughout his visit to make it seem less like a interrogation. He was very respectful. My husband was even relaxed around him and volunteered to drive him home. We met him mother who was nice. So far so good.

Jackie - posted on 02/07/2009

sooooooooooooooo? How did the meeting go? Do you like the boy? Did you get a good feeling from the parents?

Keisha - posted on 02/03/2009

and i agree with meeting the parents too... see what kind of family he comes from... u want to be as comfortable as possible.

Keisha - posted on 02/03/2009

you should interview the date.. your daughter is going out with him and u want him to know what your expectations of your daughter.. boys respect girls more when u have to deal with their parents. You are doing the right thing!! Try to be relaxed about it though and not be mean.. just ask general questions. do he drive? school? where? her curfew? what time is his curfew? and I would get license plate number, phone number and address.. your daughter could do that if you think she'll be embarrassed by that little piece of info.

I think its awesome your daughter waited.. 16 is a nice age for beginning dating.

Laura - posted on 02/03/2009

I have a 17 son who recently started seeing a girl, his first girlfriend, and I agree with meeting the parents. I met the parents of his girlfriend and was happy to find out they also had rules for their daughter. I have a very good relationship with my son and am able to talk with him about anything, including how he treats her and any questions he has he comes to me. My oldest son was different and felt weird talking to me so I made sure he had male role models, including my step-father, to talk to if there was a problem or feeling he didn't understand. But all in all, meet the parents.

Kelly - posted on 01/28/2009

I think if you interogate him, you will not see the ral him. he will become antsy and nervous.

just be yourself and let them be themselves together- you will get a better feel for this boy and them you can gradually get to know him better.

Dana - posted on 01/28/2009

When my daughter mentioned to us that there was a boy she liked, the first thing I told her was that I wanted to meet him and his parents. We met at the school the kids attended after a concert and talked for over an hour. It was the best thing we could have done. It was good to know that his parents shared the same values we did. I knew I could trust the young man with my daughter and they knew the same was true for them. It was a good experience for all of us.

Darlene - posted on 01/28/2009

thanks Jackie your comment was helpful as well. I appreciate all the advice. I think most of this is just my nervouness more than anything, but I'm good. Will let you know how the first meeting goes. :)

Jackie - posted on 01/27/2009

It is wonderful that she is bringing him home to meet you.... you know what that means?? It means she REALLY likes him. Which is wonderful!

At least that is my opinion.

When my daughter brought her first boyfriend home... I knew this boy was special to her. The easy part was him coming to our house. Cause then I knew what they were doing,,,etc. But the scarey part was her going to his house.

We had a couple of rules---#1, no boys in bedrooms---#2 no boyfriends over when adults were not home.

And I REALLY REALLY knew this boy was special when I told my daughter that when I dropped her off at the boys house..(for the first time). I was going to go in and meet his parents---and she didnt object!

It was just a very casual meeting... met at the door... friendly greeting... and I just said, "I hope you will agree with these two rules that we have set out--no bedrooms and an adult always has to be home" They agreed.

The first boyfriend lasted... a year and a half.

He was a very nice boy and we really liked him--

The breakup and heart break that went along with it...was the difficult part.

The second boyfriend---aauuugghhh... that was a disaster

Enjoy the first one---hopefully they will both be nervous and excited and best of friends!

Darlene - posted on 01/27/2009

Thanks everyone for your comments. You're right I need to relax I don't want to scare the boy away. I will just look at this as a new friend of hers coming over to visit that I need to get to know. I have already spoken to my daughter and we are pretty much on the same page as far as her developing relationship with this boy. Thanks again

Jeana - posted on 01/27/2009

I don't remember my parents questioning my bf's. I think you should just talk to him like one of her other friends and get to know the type of person he is. Not scare him away. Yeah I do have to say that sounds like a good my daughter is 14 and not allowed to have a bf till she is 16. Thankfully she don't care yet. I would love to scare the boys away but reality check they have grow up sometime and you have to trust them. You don't really have a choice in that. Just believe in your self as a parent that you taught her right and that she will make good decisions.

Kim - posted on 01/26/2009

Quoting Kim:

Be yourself, be relaxed, be honest. If your daughter feels that you trust her, she will be honest with you, and more likely to ask your advice. You know you are a good parent and have taught your daughter what is right and wrong. Trust your parenting,

I  completely agree with both of these people.  You need to let your daughter know you trust her.  You have given her some good building blocks and just make sure she knows your expectations.

Kim - posted on 01/26/2009

Be yourself, be relaxed, be honest. If your daughter feels that you trust her, she will be honest with you, and more likely to ask your advice. You know you are a good parent and have taught your daughter what is right and wrong. Trust your parenting,

Tracy - posted on 01/26/2009

It sounds like you're making this a job interview, or an interrogation of this young man. It's only a date, not a marriage proposal. Have you spoken with your daughter about your concerns and expectations for this relationship? More importantly, what are HER expectations? If you're worried about them having sex, you need to say this to your daughter and talk honestly and openly about it-- a difficult thing to do!  Give her the skills she needs to navigate the relationship herself. Then let them go have fun. An interrogation may scare the young man away.