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Debbie - posted on 05/07/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son is 16 almost 17 and he has sever depression, anxiety and Adhd. He is failing 10th grade and now doing school online for the rest of the school year. He is shutting down. He is not interested in anything. I have gotten him help, however it just seems to be a band-aid. I don't know what to do. I have two other children and I am a single mom. I am a teacher so I am off for the summer and would like to get him some serious help, however I am from MN/WI and there are not many programs out there. His dad is not a part of his life. I feel like everything is out of control and all i do is worry about him. I have gone to my church for help, however if he is unwilling to take the help I am not sure what to do next.

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Pat - posted on 05/10/2012

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Hi Debbie, My heart goes out to you – It sounds like you're going through a really tough time with your son right now. I know it can be hard to know where to start in looking for help, so I just wanted to mention an organization that might be able to encourage you. I work with Focus on the Family, and there are counselors here who will talk with you over the phone for free, and they may be able to provide referrals to therapists and/or programs in your area. The number is 855-771-HELP (4357). The website has articles on parenting teens - just go to focusonthefamily.com, click on the parenting tab, and look for "Teens" in the menu along the left-hand side of the page. Stay strong, ok? Praying for you…

Brunette - posted on 05/08/2012

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You should try the communities on ADHD, etc. My oldest daughter has several disabilities and they are all listed. Medication is very helpful if closely monitored.

Shawnn - posted on 05/07/2012

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My prayers are with you.



Now, have you set down with a family therapist? Have you had one on one time with your son to try and sound him out?



I'd start with either or both of those options. And, depending on where in the MN/WI area you are, there are a plethora of opportunities for a lot of those things. Again, without knowing where you are, or what specifically you've checked into, I can't really say much.



I'd start with searching counselors in my immediate area...and were it myself in your shoes, I'd be willing to look at anything within a 4 hour drive. As a matter of fact, my son's medical treatment is done 3 hours away from our hometown, as that's who I trust.



What kind of help have you gotten him? Why does it seem like a "band-aid" to you? If issues are not being addressed with the "help" you've gotten him, you need to look further.



I will say this: the MN/WI area is MUCH better for these types of services than the WY area...the only reason I can say that with confidence is that my kids spend at least 2 weeks a summer in Bemidji at camp, and every time we're in MN, we're impressed with the plethora of services and opportunities that we see!

Alison - posted on 05/07/2012

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I am no expert and my children are still quite young, so all I have are thoughts, not answers...

Are there any other adults in your son's life that he might be able to open up to (an uncle, friend of the family, someone from church, etc.)? What about his school?

This must be very challenging for you. :(

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