Help, I have a 16 year daughter and sometimes I really don't like her.....

Kisha - posted on 09/07/2009 ( 130 moms have responded )

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I love her to death. She's my first born and a very beautiful and intelligent young lady. I must say, I did a great job in raising her. She's very considerate and have a heart of gold, will help anyone in need. Okay, that's all the good stuff. The main problem I have is her mouth. She has to have the last word, and it kills me. And she is so moody. Sometimes, I just want to knock out all her teeth..lol. i ask myself, was i like this with my mother when i was her age?

Having a teenage daughter is the ultimate payback for all the things I put my mother through.lol.....

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Tracey - posted on 09/11/2009

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i have 3 daughter 24, 23, 21, and my mom did tell me i hope u have all girls. lol.. We help them grow in life, and show them love, but they think sometimes they know more then use, and they want things there way, or the last say, it makes them feel grown up, but it gives us a headach ..

Tammy - posted on 09/11/2009

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lol hun you sound like me. I am on my fourth teenage daughter that is just like yours. Hang in there it will get better. My older ones are great now and truly wonderful. 2 are mothers of boys. ! has 3 sons the other has 1 son They are finding out now what it is like. My 17 year old is just understanding now that mothers right. last one is 13 and OMG she too can't shut up. Grounded so much because of mouth but never learns lol....sh will one day

Emma - posted on 09/11/2009

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I am afraid when they are this age they become neanderthals and grunt, smell funny, get spotty, and complain everything is so unfair - you're ruining my life!! but are completely pleasant to other parents and their friends!



Just feed and water and taxi and they come back to you when they are around 18!

Vivica - posted on 09/10/2009

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Oh my God, I am not alone! Thank you ladies for posting I feel so much better. I have a 14 year old daughter and I too struggle with the "attitude" and disrespect even though she is a good girl. Thank you for reminding me I'm the mom and what I say goes and she's just pushing to see how far I go till I explode. I need to step back and walk the other way when I get to that point because tonight I felt like dropping her off at the detention center.

Becki - posted on 09/10/2009

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I guess I must be the odd one out, I have a great relationship with my 16 old daughter. Yes, we have our moments, but I talk to her and not at her. I do set clear expectations and we work through the issues as they arise. I also remember what it was like to be a 16 year old girl; especially in this day and age. Try to sit and talk with her and tell her how it makes you feel when she talks to you the way she does. Also, try church and see if this helps. It has really hleped our family grow together. Good luck to you!

Maureen - posted on 09/10/2009

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I'm there my 15 year old hates me I can't do or say anything right. If I say it's cold outside she says it's hot. so-on

RaShanda - posted on 09/10/2009

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It's just that society has changed since you were in school. It's alot of peer pressure and temptation......just pray and take ALOT of things away. That's the majority of our problems.....

Andrea - posted on 09/10/2009

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Well, I have a 15 yr old daughter a while she is no where near perfect I rather have 3 of her then my 2 boys and their horrible attitudes and mouthiness. I do not know who said girls are worse then boys but I beg to differ. Maybe they think because of the girls and pms well my daughter is very different then my boys. they are all good hearted and will do anything to help others. My oldest son will be 17 in a month and there are days I could strangle him I love him but I know where you are comming from.

Taniel - posted on 09/10/2009

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You know, I get the feeling of hate with my son sometimes also but I know he doesn't hate me and just wants his way and that is not going to happen in my home. I will try the laying down the consequences and letting it go because the more upset I get the more he has to say. Maybe he thinks he is going to break me down and get his way. Not going to happen.

Erica - posted on 09/10/2009

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Sounds just like my 16 year old son! He is a good student and about the most trouble he gets into is talking in class. But he wants his own way! And is so disrespectful to me especially. I'm learning it's best to let "the bait float by" sometimes and not get all riled up. I think he actually enjoys being yelled at sometimes. It's awfully hard for me not to get all emotional and upset, but the times when I have had the best success with him, I kept my cool and laid out the consequences and then walked away. When I handle things this way he usually obeys. But, I know exactly what you are talking about. I sometimes feel my son hates me because of the way he talks to me. It makes me feel I have failed as a mom. It's comforting to know others are going through the same thing.

Taniel - posted on 09/10/2009

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Funny thing I have a 16 year old daughter and she can be sarcastic at times and very quick with the response but she is not that bad. My 17 year old son on the other hand is the one with the mouth he must have the last word (he thinks for some odd reason that he knows it all and everyone else is dumb). He wants to be grown so bad until he gets into in trouble and get out of it.

Linda - posted on 09/10/2009

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I too have a 15 year old girl a total sweet heart when she wants to be. However the devil at times I feel lives in her, I have learned at times just not to argue with her and let her have the last word however the rules are the rules. Mine too believes she know it all and wow the politics she thinks she knows, I have learned too just how stupid I am I tell her one day I hope to be as smart as her maybe when I grow up. That sometimes shuts her up. Grinn and hang in there this too will pass maybe when they have kids of there own but then we get to sit back and smile big because they will live through it too.

Betty - posted on 09/10/2009

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I could not agree more, my 16 year old is the same way, she is just like her father on that one. When she gets like that I say what I need to say and walk away. When she has those moments I try and remember what my mother once told me and that is that we lash out the most and the hardest on the ones we love the most, it doesn't make want to knock her any less. lol.... but I hope as we did this passes in time and with maturity.

Marina - posted on 09/10/2009

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Hi kisha..Unlike u i have a boy but he is everything like what you discribe about your daughter..Sometimes im scared im gonna go to jail for knocking out all his teeth too lol..tHEY BOYS ARE EASIER THAT'S NOT TRUE CAUSE HE IS EVERYTHING YOU DISCRIBE YOUR DAUGHTER TO BE..nICE TO EVERYBODY ELSE except me.I pray for a girl everyday but now that he is a tenager.. i don't thing i want a next child..You not alone..I think i was just like him when i was a child lol...Scared to bring back those memories lol..What goes around does came back around..lol..But be thankfull girl that she is not doing drugs or going out all night..She will grow out of it we all did..Just keep your finger cross and stay out of jail..lol...You'lllaugh about it in 10 yrs

Moe - posted on 09/10/2009

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I too have a teenager (13) and she can be laughing 1 minute and whiny and argumentative the next.She will talk back to me but not her father WTH?? And everything she doesn't like is "gay" . I knew the teenage years were going to be tough but jeez already starting @13 and have a ways to go --no wonder my hair is turning gray .I say to mine "you better be nice to me ,you will be sorry & miss me when I'm gone" that sometimes works . :) Gotta love girls !

Anne - posted on 09/10/2009

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They say it comes around two-fold! I certainly believe it! My daughter is the same as I was .. as my mom says!!! I feel the same way. I think the hormones are in overdrive when we go through the moody moody days.. but most times she is a great kid! I really can't complain.. I send myself to my room!!!! lol

Jill - posted on 09/09/2009

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LOL! You just described my daughter to a "T"! I find myself saying breath, breath, breath, don't knock out that $5000 orthodontic job, just breath, breath, breath! Now I ask you? I don't ever remember being that bad when I was that age, do you? I say No!, but ask my Mom and I bet the answer would be diferent! But of course, I'm not going to ask. =) Hang in There!

Lucy - posted on 09/09/2009

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I know how you feel. I have a 16 year old daughter too. She goes thru terrible mood swings and when she is in a bad mood watch out!! The one thing I have learned is when she is in one of those moods and she is trying really hard to get at your last nerve don't let them. The worst thing you can do is feed into their bad attitude and let them take control of your mood. I have learned to say as little as possible when my girl is in one of those moods. I will be pleasant toward her and will have small talk, but I keep it very simple. Once you know their mood is better you can go back to joking around and chatting like you normally do.

Patsy - posted on 09/09/2009

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u poor thing my daughter is 14 nearley and she is just the same .i cant tell u how 2 get through it but i just wanted to say SNAP so i know just were your coming from and to send you some good wishes and luck . i think as long as we love them and can still see the good in our cids then no one ever said we have to like them all of the time i'm sure its ok not to some of the time . well i hope so ...i feel 4 you an good luck lol

Sonia - posted on 09/09/2009

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my daughter is 17 1/2 it doesn't get any easier they think they no everything and are so grown up. i think we try and shelter them from the real world then when it is time to face it they find it hard. I was always told children only take it out on the ones they love. Try and stick to your rules and dont let them bend them hope it gets a bit easier.

Mandy - posted on 09/09/2009

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hiya i know just how you feel i've a 15 year old who thinks she knows everything her mouth can be so wicked towards me but like butter would'nt melt to everyone else

Beth - posted on 09/09/2009

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I also have a 16 year old girll that is driving me and her step-father nuts! I was also told "I hope you have one that grows up and acts JUST LIKE YOU!". This curse does work! I have also sworn NEVER to say it to either of my children (so far so good) I personally hope that my grandchildren don't act like them, it is heartbreaking! As angry as I get at my daughter, it is hard to fault her for being a combination of my personality and the ex-husbands (God help her!) lol She is a good girl, & I know with my love and God's help we will all live through this!

Chrissy - posted on 09/08/2009

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Okay I have a 3 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. You all are scaring me. I already have the smart mouth, attitude in my son and you are saying it is worse for a girl. Oh boy what fun I have to look forward to........lol.

He is actually the sweetest boy, kind, considerate and compassionate. So I know we have done a good job of raising him, though we aren't quite done yet. I think hisw hormones are all over the place...........plus he says he is a man now that he hit 13.LOL

Kimberly - posted on 09/08/2009

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I am sorry to say Kisha, but what you are experiencing is so normal. I can totally understand how you feel. Just because she is your daughter doesn't mean you are obligated to like her all of the time. Liking someone and loving someone is two different things. I have one daughter and I am so thankful that that is all God blessed me with because I think I would have gone nuts. She was just as mouthy and frustrating to be around when she was a teenager.There is light at the end of the tunnel though - and no its not a train - lol - its a bright sunny relationship with your daughter. Just be consistent, don't accept her disrespect, and just be the best role model you can possibly be of the type of young lady you would like her to become. And, when you are the most frustrated - just close your eyes and count to ten and picture a little three year old girl with pig tails, one sock up and one sock down, maybe a chocolate ice cream stain on her check, and sound asleep in the back seat of your car -tired from a long day at the park. Hopefully, that will remind you that she is the same little girl inside and who can be mad at a cute little three year old right???

Loretta - posted on 09/08/2009

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Kisha, this too shall pass. My once smart mouth, direct, thought she was the grownest thang in the house 16 year old is now 27. We have a good relationship as long as I can keep her out of my closet. So the problems you are having may look big now, but just hold on to your hat. Stay strong in what you say and don't give up. And knocking her teeth out will only cost you in the end. They say that your daughter is like a mini me of yourself and what you put your parents through will bite you in the butt. (Not true, I would never talk back to my mother and still won't to this day. The shoe would have caught me somewhere). So just bite your lip and stay on her head. It will work out and you will grow to be best friends by the time she have her own kids. That's when she will need you more and understand what you went through. PAYBACK

Julie - posted on 09/08/2009

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Oh trust me you are not alone.. my daughter drives me nuts too.. she is fifteen.. moody , crabby .. common for teens .. think back to when you were her age.. I know I was moody, crabby its there hormones thats for sure.. My daughter is a great girl, she doesnt get into trouble and she isnt running the streets. she has rules.. she knows them and is aware of the consequences thats for sure..

Valerie - posted on 09/07/2009

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Hi Keisha,
Having the last word at 16. I found that a lot of times it had to do with how far they can go, or how riled up they can get you. Let them have the last word, don't argue, because, they know you are the mother and you will ALWAYS have the last word . As for being moody at 16, hormones. Just think back to when you were that age. It is a learning age, growing up, etc. Don't knock out her teeth, you will only have a large dental bill then (now that would be pay back). lol
Were you ever told by your mother "just wait till you have kids" I was, and was she ever right (pay back is the pits). But we all live through it, and have become better people for it. We just hope are kids will grow up healthy and have a good start at life in the outside world. The teen years have to be the hardest test and parent or teen has to go through.

Janie - posted on 09/07/2009

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Kisha, I know exactly what you mean about knocking thier teeth out. I also have a sixteen yr old daughter. I struggle so hard with the respect thing with her. When I started having kids, I said that I would rather have 10 girls then 1 boy. Was I ever sadley mistaken, lol:) I love my kids with all my heart but am extemely struggling with the teen yrs.

Kisha - posted on 09/07/2009

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you are correct, girls are totally different. That's why I thank God everyday, that she is almost out the house, she graduates in 2011 (I've told her she is going away for college) and i have 2 sons...lol

[deleted account]

Kisha I have a 15 daughter and our birthdays are 1 week apart I know what you mean.

She can be just like me and I love her and then the snippness comes out, always directed at me! Lord knows it is a whole different ball game wih girls. I have 2 older boys and it was easier. I knew this was coming

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