Tammy - posted on 10/21/2009 ( 62 moms have responded )
I am a mom of a 19 yr. old daughter and a 13 yr. old daughter. My boyfriend and I have lived together since 2000. He has a 15 yr. old daughter and a 17 yr. old son. We have been raising his kids together since about a month after we got together when they were 6 & 8. It has been a constant battle since day one. About a yr. after we got the kids we moved to my home state about 1000 miles away. Things were up and down but not to horrible. About 4 yrs. ago we moved back to his home state, which is where BM, and the kids half brothers live. Since we've been back things have progressively gotten worse. The last 2 yrs. have been absolutely HORRID.... Since we moved back here the kids went from screaming and yelling and mouthing off to getting physical, with BD and myself. I have had bruised breasts from his daughter kicking me and bruised inner thighs from his son kicking me, I have had my head slammed into a stucco wall ( which for those of you who dont know what stucco is, it's like cement) more than once, I've been shoved into doors, appliances and furniture. I am a big woman, I could take them down and prevent them from hurting me but if I did they would get hurt because of the fight they would put up, so I don't "fight" back. As I am typing I suffer from bruises on both sides and back from where I had 17 yr. old sucker punch me so to say with his crutch while I was trying to fend off 15 yr. old who was beating the tar out of my other side. About a yr. and a half ago 15 yr. old took off one night after an argument and went to a friends house and had her friends mom call and say she was there and could she just stay for the night to let things settle down. BD was working 3rd shift and didn't want to leave her here with me with everything going on cause he knew she would come home and start in on me and if he wasn't here when she got physical which he knew she would then I would call the police and he didn't want that to happen, so he said yeah let her stay. The next morning when I went to get her she wasn't there, they had taken her elsewhere and wouldn't tell us where she was. We figured it out on our own and they wouldn't allow us near her so we called the law. The sherriff came out and all these parents of all her friends start telling the cops that we were abusing her and her brother on a daily basis and they were trying to protect her from us. It just so happened we knew the officer and he knew us and he knew it wasn't true. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you the 17 yr. old lifts bench presses 400 lbs, 10 reps of 10 every day for football, there is no way he would stand there and "allow" anyone to "beat" him. He is a big bad boy. Also the 15 yr. old bruises real easy, if she were being abused the school would have known and reported it. Not to mention the officer in question had witnessed their behavior in the past. Anyways, we got her back, but we were completely shocked that she was running around telling people the lies that could have put us in prison and her in a youth detention facility. I know that she deeply needs some serious counseling, my guess is she is looking for attention and she is angry at her mom for doing drugs and getting herself thrown in prison. She refuses and dad won't make her go because she has already proven that she will lie without even caring about the consequences. He is afraid of what vicious lies she would come up with to tell a counselor, which she would do if he MADE her get counseling when she doesnt want to. He loves his kids and is scared to death of loosing them. She has become very promiscuous, I have heard of at least 7 guys she has slept with over the summer. One weekend we took her and dropped her at grandma's for the weekend so dad could get his sleep for work, you see she will wake him up every 10 minutes all day long just to be hateful. Anyways, grandma lives about 13 miles away and about 10 oclock that night she looked at grandma and said she wasn't staying there and took off running down the highway. She was finally found half way between grandma's and home at almost midnight by the same officer mentioned above. He lectured her and she proceeded to tell me after he left that some guy pulled over and tried to force her in the car with him. She claims to have hit him and ran and apparently he didn't chase her. I asked her well did u learn a lesson? Next time stay put, your lucky to be alive and well, he could have raped her and left her for dead. She actually said, NO she didn't learn anything, if we ever tried to take her to grandma's again then she would do it again. Okay, either she made it up and it didn't happen or she trully is more selfish than I ever dreamed that she would put her life in danger just to get way. Now today I have been told that I am a drunk (by the way, I am allergic to alcohol), by the parents of one of her friends. This tells me that she is still up to no good and still telling lies, I am guessing she wants people to feel sorry for her so she can get their full attention. I don't know what to do. I have made the decision to pack mine and my daughters things and leave but that can't happen till taxes when I will have the money to do it. What bothers me about this is I feel like a failure, like I am letting his kids down, and I worry about his and his kids safety and well being if and when I leave. But I also don't like taking chances with mine and my daughters lives, which is what I feel I do every day that I stay here. I mean I have to worry every second of every day that the cops are going to show up to hall us away for some lie that she has told. Somebody help please..... what do I do??? Tuck tail and run as far and as fast as I can or do I stick it out? If I am to stick it out what am I to do about the situation?
Thank You for your help ~ Tammy