Help....She's 13 and already pregnant. Prayers and positive advice, PLEASE.

Melissa - posted on 11/08/2012

For starters you should figure out if you haven't who she got pregnant with. Talk with her and help her to understand that she is going to be like you a mother. Help her through this talk to her and help her get through with this. Instead of taking off all her clothes in the delivery room maybe she can just take off her bottoms as it might make her feel more secure. Get her to know the doctor so she is comfortable with him?her and try to get a female doctor if you can. I will pray for you and your daughter

Rebecca - posted on 11/05/2012

Father, please continue to walk with this family.

Rachel - posted on 11/04/2012

Oh wow!

I don't even know what to say! So young!

I started having sex at 12 and I was so very lucky I didn't get pregnant.

It's good that you are there for her and are able to help her. Good luck to you all.

Leanne - posted on 11/04/2012

My daughter is 13 and could be pregnant. she says if she is she wants to bring it up. For mums that are in the same position as me, what are the legal implications that come with a pregnancy at such a young age i.e social services, schooling, financial support and guardianship of the baby with her being a minor.

Rebecca - posted on 07/05/2012

Father, please be close to this family. May they know your love.

Chaya - posted on 07/04/2012

God forbid your daughter miscarries, but it could happen. Any clue as to who the dad is? A classmate or another kid her age, you have less of a problem. If you don't know, ask, insist. I'm concerned the child has been abused, most kids her age kind of think sex is gross. However, I got married when I was 12. I had a good husband, but that's almost impossible to expect. A 13 year old doesn't know what she wants for next week, much less a lifetime.
When I was raising my sisters kids, I got custody of them, and told my sister she had to follow these rules, I listed them in order of importance. If she couldn't do it, I would put the children up for adoption.
I would recommend you teach your daughter the things she'll need to know for providing for the child, and insist she goes to university. Failing to provide that option or encouragement will merely exaserbate poverty, not what you want for either of them

Angela - posted on 07/04/2012

And now, over 2 years on, Shannon Angle, the original poster of this thread has STILL not commented after her very first, opening post.

Marie DID make some valid points but poor presentation, syntax and spelling made them difficult to understand.

Rebecca, your prayer is surely sincere and heartfelt but the fact Shannon Angle only posted ONCE on this topic has made me wonder if the story was true to begin with! Nothing more controversial on a mothers' Forum than raising the issue of a very young, pregnant teenager.

"Shannon Angle" might well be some 27 year-old guy who isn't married, doesn't have any children and who thought it would be a good laugh to pose as the worried mother of a pregnant 13 year old.

If this is so, he's still getting his laughs by seeing the continued response on this thread and the way we're disagreeing with one another here and there. The irony of course is that I've contributed to this situation myself by this very post!

Rebecca - posted on 07/04/2012

Father, may this child grow up to know you. Help Shannon and her daughter to have the wisdom and energy they need.

Rebecca - posted on 06/26/2012

Thank you Father for the gift of this child. May this child grow up in love and security. Help Shannon and her daughter to do a good job in their roles today.

Kristi - posted on 06/24/2012

Thank you for proving my point.

Marie - posted on 06/24/2012

lol! so what this was a Public post so open to debate thanks, whatever yawn.

Kristi - posted on 06/24/2012

Ok, to start with you are NOT going to debate intelligence with me based on your posts, you have no merit. Second, the only thing I said is that having an unplanned baby doesn't mean they won't be loved and that was in response to your comment--"...now who (I'm guessing you meant how)would the baby feel, knowing it was never planned, thus not a wanted baby." I made it a point to neutrilize this situation to avoid a reaction like this. My thoughts and opinions are completely irrelevant to this matter because a) she did not ask me for them, b) there is no way my thoughts or opinions can change this situation in any way, c) this post is from 2009. Third, if you honestly got that I "misunderstood the point" and was "trying to tell you that age doesn't matter" based on my comment then I beg to differ as to who the ignorant one really is.

Marie - posted on 06/24/2012

Kristi - posted on 06/24/2012

Neither of my children were "planned." I was grown adult when I had both of them. I'm not saying this situation is acceptable or not, it is what it is now. But just because a child isn't planned, doesn't mean he/she will not be loved just as much as if they were.

Marie - posted on 06/24/2012

PS No one seems to see this Mother was whatever 2 yrs past, beside her self that her 13 yr old has given her own um the responsibility "that Her Mum did not plan or ask for.

Thus in these cases Adoption is good, rather than having to be forced to feed and care for a baby that was never planned, now who would the baby feel, knowing it was never planned, thus not a wanted baby, rejection over.

And its not the worse thing been Adopted, whats worse is 13 yr olds what ever never learn, and babies suffer. They don't deserve to keep a baby, they deserve simply not to have them in the first place.

Its not a right to have babies, its a babies right to be wanted in the first place, without all this.
Se it was the GrandMother and not the 13 hyr old on here, probably as she was so young she could not even old enough to be on here! Irony.

Marie - posted on 06/24/2012

Yes and just hope the baby does not walk inits Mothers foot steps. As going by all of this, History can often and does repeat itself, just another 10 yrs and that 2 yr old, can feel the same attitude thats it OK to be a child and pump out babies, children are not baby machines!

Jeeps, give Children a chance at LIFE first before they are expected or feel its even fine after the fact, to do a Adults job.

Marie - posted on 06/24/2012

? as long as the article is up here and not wiped guess eh has made in for all Public to see, and also relates to many others just like her at such a child's age, I remind you she is not the only one and will not be.



how can you say, people cannot comment just because time has passed?



wow now the grand age of 15 with a 2 yr old, thats grand now aye, um At who expense though?



Does she work 8 hrs 7 days a week, each day to support a 2 yr old? did she say no to sex? Or does society owe it to al these teenagers to cough up? for promiscuity behavior, um



As she never said she was raped, then why all the Blame on Boys? So what doe she want in the first place Pity or sympathy? If not then guess there was no reason to place this on in the first place, and if the topic was not important ands she expect wow is her, then guess don't post your life away, after all this is a public forum, and not private, thus guess one can disagree and not take any sides, as the girl never ran form having sex.

Marie - posted on 06/24/2012

Yes father please give unplanned babies, Mature Fathers and Mothers um and real Parents who understand the word responsibility, and teach them about biology, and that life is more than over populating the world, that would good start,um

However no matter how many prayers are throw up in the air, as long as their are teenagers, there always will be raging Hormones, just waiting to Test the Boundaries. Any prayers should be help them use the brain they have, and think after 1st Mistakes, after all all makes mistakes, but only difference is some never learn.

Marie - posted on 06/24/2012

Adoption is great "for many babies", remember these "girls need help if their own", else they would not be pumping out baby after baby. from 12-15! goodness.



To get to the core why such young girls feel they need to have babies so young, when they are still children themselves, is very important, as 12 13 yr olds simply dont have any sense of responsibility in the first place, just because you have more and more babies, just makes you able to get pregnant, um.



Wont make a lot of teenagers more responsible just as miserable as they where before and a lot poorer n more ways that one, why should babies suffer the lack. I mean better to have X2 Mature parents that gave give Love and ll the care, than a teenager that only worries about their pimples and parties.





Their need for love most come from a selfish manner, and I need TO BE LOVED and feel of worth, thus more of a lack self esteem issue.



thus it takes Adults to raise babies and children, not children raising babies.



PS) Biology, just because one can get pregnant doe snot make them a Mother, makes them be abel to get pregnant that all. Also it takes 25 yrs for a humans brian to be at maturity, and thats with out taken Drugs and abuse of Booze.



I dont know any 12 13 yr olds who understood what family planning is, um else they would think more of t others than themselves, thus they are children! not grown woman.

User - posted on 06/23/2012

wow

Kristin - posted on 06/22/2012

My son has said that to a girl actually. He is in no rush to have sex and he respects girls and most his friends are like that as well. They have actually had to run away from girls who have begged them to have sex with them even while they werent dating. Some girls at age 13 are giving blow jobs to boys in the bathroom, whichn is sick and are then termed sluts. Now what I dont understand, as my daughter is only 1 is how parents can let their daughters be like that? Boys dont actually like or respect easy girls so why are they like that? I plan on raising my daughter with confidence and goods self esteem so she hopefully will not feel the need to let a boy rush her into doing something she doesnt want to do. I just dont feel boys are all to blame and girsl can be just as bad. And by the way boys have the same insecurity issues as girls do and pressures. So maybe it is just a teen thing.

Angela - posted on 06/22/2012

Kristin, teenage girls want to have boyfriends, it's a status symbol amongst one's peer group to be seen to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I discovered something interesting when I was an adolescent. Which girls do you think, are the ones that boys find the most attractive? Not those who are the prettiest, or the ones with the brightest, most interesting personalities, not the kindest-hearted girls or the ones who have the most money. None of these. The girls whom adolescent boys find most attractive are the ones who look older than their age. Most adolescent girls and boys will not admit this, but it is true, nevertheless.

A 14 year old boy will happily be boyfriend to a girl of 13 or 14 - as long as she looks older than this age! Meanwhile the girls are putting on make-up from 11 or 12 years old, insisting on the most fashionable clothing, trying to give themselves an air of sophistication etc .... to attract the boys. They may start smoking and drinking - just to add some veneer of sophistication. The first cigarette they smoke in private (when there are no friends of their own age looking on) - that's when they know they're hooked on nicotine! In the early days there is no point in lighting up a cigarette if there's no-one to see you do it!

When the boy asks the girl for sex, many girls will succumb - not because they need to "feel" grown-up - they already have the boyfriend, after all. It's simply to keep the boy happy. He may also threaten to end the relationship if she does not agree to sleep with him.

A few girls say no - I did! My boyfriend swiftly dropped me. I survived!

The sexually experienced girl whose boyfriend ends the relationship anyway will find a new boy and because she feels sex is an emotional bond, she will sleep with the next boy as she doesn't wish to feel more "bonded" to her ex than to her current boyfriend. She may well be the one who suggests they have sex.

Then there are girls who seek deliberately to get pregnant, in order to have a baby and drop out of school, trap a man etc ... It's fair to say that a good many who get pregnant didn't do so on purpose though.

But, in my opinion, virginity is lost because of pressure from others. Often this is the boyfriend - the pressure can also come from one's female friends, all of whom will claim not to be virgins themselves. This may be true of course!

For years we've tried to teach girls ways to say no without being made to feel foolish, babyish etc ... We've tried to teach them assertiveness. How to refuse sex without damaging one's own self-esteem. How about we teach boys to say no? When a boy is propositioned by a predatory girl of around his own age, he should be able to say "Hey! Don't take this the wrong way honey, but I'm not in any rush to take you to bed! Were you as speedy with your last boyfriend? Slow down!"

Kristin - posted on 06/22/2012

Angela,
I must say i have to disagree with you about blaming it on pressure from a boy. My son is 16 and has never had sex but he knows a lot of girls who try very hard to get the boys to sleep with them. It is up to parents to discuss with their children when to have sex and to use protection. Unfortunately in todays society sex is viewed completely different as it was 50 years ago. Also, when I used to drop my son off at school dances when he was 13 14 the girls do act more mature and want to be grown up. Christ some of them wore bras as shirts and looked like they were 25 and your going to tell me that they didnt want to have sex to feel grown up? I think that it is ultimately both parties decisions and girls are just as bad as boys and it is up to the parents to realize kids are having sex at younger ages and to ensure they know all the facts and are well protected.

Angela - posted on 06/22/2012

The 13 year old pregnant daughter described in the opening post (from December 2009) is now mother to a 2 year old!

Why is this topic still being discussed?

The original poster, Shannon Angle, has not commented since her very first opening post! So I feel this topic can be safely put to bed.

Marie, we may not understand or approve but the fact remains that girls of 13 get pregnant and even some girls who are younger than 13. I very much doubt that they indulge in sex in order to "feel grown-up". It's far more likely to be pressure from a boy. The girl is not likely to have the self-esteem to say no - nor the maturity!

Marie - posted on 06/22/2012

....13yrs is a baby, thats just had her 1st period, 13 is still a under age CHILD a child and sex wayy under age. Pretty sad, but happy if you were wise and unselfish enough to either give enough to care for it to Adopt, or brave enough to let the baby have a fairer chance to grow with Adults, the girl is way to young no matter, gezz she barley had her first periods, let alone care for a baby by her self. ANd if the Grandparents look after these under ages unplanned spare of the moment off spring, the baby may feel she has another sister, and the 13 yr old may treat her ownMum as if she w should fork out everything.um not even as IF the 13 yr old can go out and earn some money by a paper run to keep her baby, um



Been able to have babies so young does not make you a adult, having a life first does, and earning a bit of a living may help. What a sad way try to feel as IF you are a adult by having sex so very young, but still a child in body and mind.

Give the baby a chance, allow the 13yr to grow up and get a life and learn some thing other than making babies, first, and adopt the baby.

Marie - posted on 06/22/2012

Did she Adopt to a lovely home, or did you take care of her.

Rebecca - posted on 06/20/2012

Father, we lift this family to you today. Help Shannon and her daughter to do a good job raising this child.

Kristin - posted on 06/20/2012

Also, keep in mind that your daughter will not have the freedom she does now, nor will she ever have that freedom if she chooses to keep the child. It was hard for me at 16 to see all my friends go out, travel, date and all that is normal for teens to do. I couldnt go out drinking, or travel, missed my school trip to europe because i had a child to take care of. Also, it is hard to relate to other parents when your child becomes older and you are youmnger than all the other parents. These are all the things you must consider. Also, you will have to consider how the babys father's family feels about all this as well. She can not exactly ask for child support if he is still in school, and hopefully his family will be able to help with the cost of the child.

Kristin - posted on 06/20/2012

I wish you luck with whatever you and your daughter decide to do. I had my oldest child at 16 and it is a tough road to follow. I dont care what anyone says raising a child as a teenager or young adult is hard, and maturity levels are not there. Also, as much as everyone states that the child will not be anyone elses responsibility, it is as teens and young adults are not prepared to take on the whole aspect of parenthood. My mom kicked me out when I was 8 months pregnant, and I married my sons father. However, I had my familys support as my grandma watched my son for me while i completed high school and my parents took him when they could for grad nights or whatever. I was extremely lucky that my family helped buy my son what he needed. But at 16 it is hard to be able to finacially asfford a child. My sons father wound up dropping out of school and going to work full time to support us. After i was done high school I went on to college and worked part time. I got divorced when my son was 4 and it took a lot of courage and strength and support from my family to be able to complete my degree, work sometimes 2 or 3 jobs, and raise a child. I always wondered if I was selfish to keep my son as we had some pretty tough times and he could not always get the things he wanted nor does he have much in way of a college fund as I was unabvle to start his college fund until he was 12. I also wondered if he would have been better off going to a happily married couple who could not have children. My son is now 16 and hes a pretty good kid but sometimes he feels like he made my life harder and he has some guilt issues to as he states having him made my life harder. Now dont get me wrong I love my son very much and I am glad I have him he taught me to be responsible and to grow up in a hurry, however having 2 more children when I was older I can give them more time and be a much better parent, If you feel that you can help your daughter and support another child then that is great, but please weigh your options carefully as your daughter is still such a child herself and that is a heavy burden to carry. I pray that God will guide you and your family to make the best decision for all of you.

Christina - posted on 06/20/2012

I was pregnant when I was 12 , and now she's 2 , Im 15 . ITLL BE OKAY .
my grandma almost had a heart attack when she found out , but as long as you stay supportive and help her as much as possible , things should work out . Im 15 with a 2 year old , going into 11th grade , but im just as fine as a 20 or 30 year old mom . keep your head up :)

Lareashia - posted on 08/30/2011

Hello,Wow its certainly a big responsibility. Adoption should be between the mother and child because she is still a minor baby or not. If she doesn't get the revelation to know that sex comes with responsibility then she will continue to have children. Please put her in counseling to find out what the root is for her having sex so young and not responsible to wear protection.
Prayers and strength to you:)

Rebecca - posted on 08/23/2011

Father, help Shannon today to love you and her family and do what is right. Help her to rejoice in the sacrifices she makes for you.

Julia - posted on 08/22/2011

i was pregnant at an early age and it was the best thing that could have ever happened i learned to take care of my responsibilities and learn that there are some things that my mom could not just fix for me, i am 30 now and my son has so far had a great life i had to work hard to get him everything he needed, but he never went without.

Rebecca - posted on 08/22/2011

Father, please help this child to grow up under your love and discipline and to know you from an early age.

Lorna - posted on 08/22/2011

hi shannon how is your daugher and grand child hope they are fine and you are enjoying both of them

Rebecca - posted on 08/20/2011

Father, help Shannon and her daughter to walk in ways that are pleasing to you. Help them to find their joy in you.

Angela - posted on 08/20/2011

Don't assume she's going to expect you to raise this child, but don't let her assume you will either. Show her how to carry out the parenting tasks but expect her to do it for herself, she's the mother, not you. Good luck to you all.
PS - why am I replying to this? The opening post was made on December 17th 2009 - this baby will be walking by now!! LOL!!

Rebecca - posted on 08/14/2011

Help Shannon to do a good job of loving and supporting her family today, Father.

Rax - posted on 08/13/2011

I'm sure GOD almighty will never leave you & your daughter...I am a single mom of 2 kids. I also have a 13 y/o turning 14 this Oct.Just continue your love for your daughter & give your full support for her with your grandchild... Its a blessing!!!

Rebecca - posted on 08/13/2011

Help Shannon to love her family. Give her your eyes and your love.

Jessica - posted on 08/11/2011

Not nessecarily, my mum had the exact same attitude towards me when i fell pergnant, she thought she would have to look after my baby, when its not the case atall. Your daughter may suprise you and be a brilliant mum and take responsibility. Im 16 with a baby, i live with my mum but we live seperate lives! My son is my responsibility, it will always be that way. Just have faith in her, give her a chance.. everyone deserves a chance :-)

Rebecca - posted on 08/06/2011

Father, help Shannon and her daughter. Help them to know and do what is right.

Alisha - posted on 08/05/2011

@JaNae I don't think adoption is the easy way out of a pregnancy, it is a very loving decision for a child.

Alisha - posted on 08/05/2011

@JaNae I don't think adoption is the easy way out of a pregnancy, it is a very loving decision for a child.

Marta - posted on 08/03/2011

I'd like to bring forth her perspective, if that's alright. I was a mom at 17, and although I had already made my decision before coming to my parents, they tried to force their perspective upon me. My mother is devoutly Catholic so any talk of abortion, or even adoption, was out of the question for her--mind you I had already decided to take on the responsibility myself--she was very forceful in her presentation of these views, which made me resent her in many ways. Please, when you talk to her about her decision let her come to the conclusion she feels is best. Right now she is probably very scared, and feels very much alone; just let her know that you love her, and that you will support her no matter what she chooses to do--regardless of your views (personal or spiritual). She needs to know that it's her time to take ownership of her body and in many ways her life. In the event that she chooses to keep the baby, help her care for that child until she can get a part-time job to help out with the costs involved, and encourage her to continue her education. Be open, honest, and most importantly supportive. That's what she needs from you the most right now; she needs for you to stop being "MOM" for a little while and start being her confidant and friend while retaining your authority. I hope this was helpful.

Rebecca - posted on 08/03/2011

Father,please build up this family today.

Rebecca - posted on 07/30/2011

Father, pour out your Spirit of wisdom upon Shannon and make her wise.

Janet - posted on 07/30/2011

I think that your daughter is not old enough to understand the consequences of her actions- especially about something as touchy as sex. She really needs to be sat down and told by someone what the different choices are- whether that be adoption (what I would opt for), abortion or possibly even bringing up her child. Since she is a child in and of herself i think it would be impossible for her to raise her child, and if you do agree to letting her raise him, you realise that it will be your responsibility until the child is 4/5 and she is old enough to take care of him. If you think that this is out of the picture for you, don't leave it as an option! Tell her that you cannot and will not do that (for reason X) and that she then has to choose between adoption and abortion.

Rebecca - posted on 07/30/2011

father, please protect Shannon and her family. Help them to walk closely with you.

Lauren - posted on 07/26/2011

Wow...what a kick in the stomach!!! Sorry to hear this and pray that you will have the strength and get her through this healthy. My sister in laws were both 15 when they had children. My mother-in-law only babysat if they worked, and she home schooled them both too so they would be home to raise their babies. Find her a class to help her understand what is to come and what to expect from her changing bodies. Start there! Good Luck!!!!!