Help! We are moving house. My teenage son has decided to move in with his Dad. We have been separated since he was 2. How should I respond?.

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Kristi - posted on 05/24/2012

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I'm not sure where you're moving. Kristin makes a good point about kids "threatening" to go live with the opposite parent. In my experience it is usually 1 of 2 things. One, there is something going on in your home or with him that he doesn't like and doesn't want you to know about or two, there are not as many rules, there is more money (not income necessarily, just money available to the kids) for new "anythings" and that parent doesn't ask a lot of questions. In both cases, the greener green doesn't stay that way for long. I should ad that my experience comes from kids 13 and younger. Your son is plenty old enough for a sit down conversation about why he wants to live with his dad now. Be straight forward with him, you don't need to figure out a clever way to ask him if he is unhappy at mom's house. Just ask him. But, if you seriously have a bad gut feeling, pay attention to it. I don't know what your relationship with your ex has been like but trust your instincts, not your emotions. If your son does go with his dad remind him he always has a place to come home to and that you love him. When mine were on extended visits I called each day, just for a few minutes so they would know I was thinking about them, but not too long to annoy them. Your son knows you love him, he knows he has you to fall back on maybe that's why he feels safe enough to explore a different path. And hopefully, if you talk to him, you might find out what he's looking for on that path. Good luck!

Kristin - posted on 05/24/2012

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If he has had a relationship with his father his whole life than i say let him live with his dad. More than likely your son will come back home after a short time. Lots of times teenagers say things to try to scare you like im going to live with dad and if you say fine go live with your dad he may not even go and is just trying to stop you from moving.

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