home work not getting turned in

JESSIE - posted on 05/12/2010 ( 51 moms have responded )

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I have a 13 year old girl who will do her homework but never turn it in to her teachers! How do I get her to turn her work in on time?

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Hollie - posted on 05/20/2010

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I have this problem with my 14 yr old. He is going to have to retake 9th grade because of not turning in homework. We have tried taking things away, giving positive incentives, teacher/parent conferences. I am at the end of my rope. I do not know what else to do.

Beth Ann - posted on 05/13/2010

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I'm not sure if one of these or if any of these will work, but here are a few things I've tried (as a middle-school and high-school teacher):
1) Put the homework with her assignment notebook. If your son/daughter are actually remembering what the assignment was, maybe if what they had to turn in was where he/she writes down tomorrow's assignment they'd remember to turn it in.
2) Some of my students drop off their homework before the school day. Most of them are wandering the hallways for about 15 minutes before school starts -- they just drop by my room and put it in the "in" basket.
3) I do have some students (especially, my special education students) who will leave it with their study support teacher who then gets it to me. This is if the student made it through the day and forgot to hand it in. It's not forcing organization or responsiblity, but it is allowing some small success instead of total failure.
and
4) I have some parent make a copy and email it as an attachment. At the beginning of the year, I accept it as on time work; however, after my freshman have had time to adjust to the academic demands of high school, I count emailed assignments as late. Again, it promotes some responsiblity and some success instead of total failure.

We (teachers, parents, and students) need to remember they are learning to be adults, they are learning to be responsible, and along the way, they will make mistakes. We can't give up on them -- they are too fast to do that already.

Hope that helps.

[deleted account]

not only girls, my 13 year old son was doing the same thing. he would do the work, but then not turn it in. then turn it in late, get half credit (on "A" work, that's a "C"). he finally saw how much stress it was causing both of us parents and then the s**t was hitting him, so he straightened up. our school has an online "parent portal" that allows the parents to check on grades, homework assignments, etc. Dad watched hiim like a hawk for about a month and now he doesn't do it.. good luck, I think it's an age thing...

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Emily - posted on 05/30/2010

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Wow i'm new an was happy to read this. My 14 year old daughter has been doing this. I have talked to her till blue in the face. Have had meetings with teachers until I wanted to scream. Well turns out I just got my daughter tested and she has Autism and has a very slow processing speed. So shes not intirely at fault for forgetting stuff. I will be rehireing my child austim advocate lawyer in Auguest when shool gets ready to gear back up. Because I can not get the school to help her. She barely has passed 7th grade.

Tara - posted on 05/27/2010

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I have been having this same issue with my son now for YEARS. I struggle with it I really do...do I coddle him and keep reminding him or do I let him find out what really happens? Well it was getting too stressful for me to worry about HIS grades. So I stepped back. Not completely but I don't check all the time. He is going to be 16 come Sept. I told him he only has a few years left of mommy helping hhim out. And he has some hard choices to make on his own...will he get his act together and go to college? Will he join the military? Or will he just not care and get a min wage job and struggle for the rest of his life...NOT LIVING WITH MOMMY AND DADDY. My holding his hand wont help him become a man. As much as I want to it wont. My son is in every advanced class at his school so he could be throwing away a real promising future here.
So I guess I would say inform her teachers you are aware of what is going on but she needs to grow up and find out what happens. If that means F's or stuff taken away then so be it. When she gets older people wont be holding her hand in jobs and there are deadlines. It's a hard life lesson to teach and for them to learn

Kathy - posted on 05/27/2010

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My son did the same thing. He didn't think it was "cool" to be smart and turn his homework in....this was at a pretty expensive private school, too! My husband told him that HE would take a week of his vacation and go to school/class with him and let him see how "cool" that was to his friends. He started turning in his homework. Good luck!

Eilene - posted on 05/26/2010

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We had the same problem with our son "A" at that same age (he is now 16). His dad told him 0's are not acceptable and the consequence was his game boy going on vacation. The next 0 the game boy went to the thrift store. It actually came to them being in the car on the way to the thrift store with game boy, accessories, and all games in hand. They sat in the parking lot and discussed it. Dad agreed on one more chance. Not only were there no more 0's but the next grading period he was on the A/B Honor Roll! Now that he's in high school, the work load, peer pressure and general stress is a lot grater. His lowest grades have been a low C. It's about finding the one thing that really motivates them. If they have to give up something they really enjoy/love and know you mean it......they usually wake up. Hope this helps. ELM

TONI - posted on 05/26/2010

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Boy do I know how you feel!! What I have done with my 15 yr old boy is NO PHONE unless he brings me home the homework from the day before with the teachers signature on it. His dad and I met with his teachers and him so we were all in on this. It has been working so far. The phone is very important to him, so you have to find out what your daughter values most and work with that.

We will use this all the way through high school I'm afraid, but hey it works.

I would not waste money on an "Organizational Coach" , unless you can afford it some of us cannot afford that. Kids have their own minds and as teenagers they will push every single button and see how much they can get away with. You just have to keep trying with your kid and not give up on them. Teenagers are mouthy, pushy, hateful, mean, spiteful, selfish, and generally hate authority. But they are our kids and it's our job to love them introduce them to the "real world". My saying: Love your children for WHO they are NOT for what YOU want them to be!

Margot - posted on 05/26/2010

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We've been through this for years. Have your child evaluated for organizational issues. My son has Executive Function Disorder which just means he is disorganized, has trouble prioitizing and getting started with his work. He, too, tested off the charts for intelligence and always got A's. We never received help from the public schools because he was getting A's. Now that homework counts (10th grade) his grades have slipped tremendously. If he gets behind in a class and no one is there to help him, he doesn't know where to begin to get caught up -- this resulted in 3 failed classes during the winter term. We now have an organizational coach and that has helped a lot.

Hollie - posted on 05/25/2010

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Ahhhh, June. I wish it was that easy. We have tried the whole losing the cell phone and internet access if there is a missing assignment. We also have a website (edline) that we check daily. He just does not care. He may have to repeat 9th grade.

June - posted on 05/25/2010

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that's easy; if she has a cell phone, no phone for that day. Get her teachers to sign a slip daily stating she turned in her homework. I know that my kids school has a program on a school website that allows me to check daily their tests scores, homework, classwork, etc. She has to learn to be responsible...with priviledges comes responsibility; they go hand in hand..maybe when she doesn't get to do things she wants she will find a way to remember to turn in the homework. Its a control issue and YOU s/b in control, not her.

Petra - posted on 05/25/2010

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I'm not sure. My son does the same thing. I talk to him about it. I also try to remind him to turn in assignments. I have talked to the teacher too. they tell me that he needs to be more responsible.

Kim - posted on 05/25/2010

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Ugh I wish I had the answer. I have a 14 yr old son who does the same thing. He works so hard on it then forgets to turn it in! You would think he would make sure after working so hard on it. Unfortunately it has hurt his grades terribly. For me he is child #3 so I have been through this age before definitely a unique kid here. Keep your head up. An idea may be to e-mail the teacher(s) and stay in contact with them that is what we do and it helps somewhat.

Leiba - posted on 05/25/2010

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EEK!! I kind of feel better knowing that my 15yr boy is not just out to get me. (ok maybe he is) He has had issues with turning things in since 7th grade. He would complete it and not turn it in. He is very smart and all his teachers adore him. (their issue is that he is a class clown) Unfortunately, at first I believe his issue is it is the only way that he get my attention but know even thou he has yapped about college lately his not doing his work (stating he doesn't care) isn't going to cut it. I have taken everything away but the clothes on his back. (it may have to be next). ugh (p.s I have rewarded out the ying yang, to no avail)

Laura - posted on 05/25/2010

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Hello, I have had this problem with my teen son. I called the school, met with the teachers,with my son. then went over each thing he could make up. ask them each to email me each time he don't turn something in. its a pain, but he knows that i care, more important he knows that the teachers care. It seems to be working. best to u...... Laural

Theresa - posted on 05/24/2010

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Does your school offer AVID? The program helps the kids learn to be organized and develop skills that allow them to be successful in college. It starts in middle school and goes through high school, at least in our school system.

Renee - posted on 05/24/2010

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My 13 year old simply doesnt care. I have taken everything away and he say..I dont care. Are you kidding me? Now he sits in an empty room and still wont turn his work in. I give up....kids...

Bridgette - posted on 05/22/2010

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explaine to her that homework is apart of her grade and it will bring down her grade point average and that means no college and that ends to struggling for the rest of her life

Jessie - posted on 05/20/2010

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Only thing I know to suggest is taking things away from her-special privileges, time w/ friends, etc.

Angela - posted on 05/20/2010

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Now that it is time to do scheduling for 9th grade he is signing up for honor classes. Although I know he can do them with a little effort.....It scares me because he didnt put an effort in his regular classes this year with the homework. SO now what do I do...Let him take the Honor classes and hope he does the extra work or fails or do I make him take regular classes and hope he actually gets great grades and turns the work in?

Linda - posted on 05/20/2010

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i have the same problem and my daughter is also 13 i would like for anyone to tell me what i could do to help her so she does not fail

Christina - posted on 05/19/2010

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I love and truly believe in rewards for steering kids in the right direction; though I reward gifts only on occasion so that he gets the idea that his effort and the result of it are really what he should celebrate. If he's doing well on his own, that's when we step with surprise rewards for his great work- not just for turning in his work, but for taking ownership and being generally responsible.

[deleted account]

reward, reward, reward.
everytime your child remembers to hand it in they get a reward. it doesn't have to be huge it could be as simple as getting a favortie candy bar or an extra spoonful of icecream for desert. but tell them this is your reward for remembering and when they forgoet do not give them anything. punishment doesnt work, but going without does. make sure to reward your other children too. that has an even better effect when they see siblings getting something but they havent. i promise you it won't take long.

Christina - posted on 05/19/2010

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I recently had to have the same talk with my 14 yr old boy for one of his classes. Once he gets to school, he gets distracted. I simply told him if he was feeling challenged in the class and he got a low grade it would be one thing... but to have a low grade for lack of effort was another thing. And, that I knew he could be better at this and expected a change. . My husband and i keep a close watch on his grades from an on-line school site called "the source" and recently had our son start to check it regularly so that he can manage his own progress in school. So far, so good. The grade came up and all of his homework is in. In fact, he just checked the site on his own last night and boasted that he'd raised his grade for not just one class, but three!

Toni - posted on 05/18/2010

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Ok...I had the same exact problem..with my 13 yr. old son. He would do the homework every night (I would check), and I would make sure it was in his folder before school everyday, but he wouldn't hand it in. He would say he forgot or couldn't find it. With my son it turned out to be an organizational problem. We changed his notebook so that now when he does his homework, I put a small piece of red cardstock stapled to the side of his paper sticking out so you can see where it is. It says "homework" right on it. Ever since doing this, he can now find his work much easier. I also use a color coded system and do the same thing for his daily notes that he has to take. I mark it green and put daily notes on it. He has started getting "A's" straight across the board again. It's been wonderful.

Jackie - posted on 05/18/2010

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I have that same problem with my 14 year old son, he will be repeating the year because of it. I actually thought that I was the only one, what is going thru their minds....

Heather - posted on 05/18/2010

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So not just you my 13 yr old boy also does home work but never turns it in.. Unfortunately he may not pass English due to late assignments are only worth half credit.. Don't know what to say, being organized helps so that is where I started. I also have him type all written assignments and e-mail them to the teachers. Of course you have to talk to the teachers first. We still encourage him to turn the paper form in with the rest of class. The other thing I noticed was if he did not know one answer he did not turn it in in fear of an incomplete. He still misses some assignments but not like before. Identifying the reason for not turning it in is hard so continue to challenge her reasoning.

Angela - posted on 05/17/2010

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I have no clue sorry! My 14 yr old has the same problem! We know its done cause we see it but then he doesn't turn it in! Although he knows that if he ever becomes academicly on probation from one of his sports teams he is off for the rest of the year. That is our house rule. So he atleast has that behind him that he turns more in now!

Crystal - posted on 05/15/2010

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That sounds strangly familiar to me. I too have a 13 year old daughter who hasn't been turning in her homework after completion. To make sure she turns it all from now until the end of the school year, she is not allowed to view or play with anything electronic while at home. You should see her face! She either has to read, write or clean up and everyday I ask her if she turned in her homework and the answer has been "yes".

Angela - posted on 05/15/2010

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I have the same problem with my oldest boy. He has always been forgetful and its hard. I had to take away privilages. It worked okay!

Denise - posted on 05/15/2010

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I feel so good knowing I am not the only on eout there with this frustration. AGGGHHH. I don't know what the answer is, I am sorry that I am not more help. It is a very frustrating ordeal.

Aenea - posted on 05/15/2010

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@Paula, I agree with you, my kids have what its called powerschool. I get day to day emails on grades etc..... It has gotten much better though, but still they forget, wait to the last minute, that kind of thing.

Aenea - posted on 05/15/2010

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wow, i have a 11yr old and 13 yr old boys that do the same thing. i tried taking the labtops, cell phones, not being able to go anywhere, ground them, you know. what i really want to do is beat them down! lmao! to many rules, cps of course. if i come up with something, will share! too funny!!!!!

Paula - posted on 05/15/2010

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We have a fabulous tool called Ed Line - we can check homework assignments, quiz results, test due dates etc. It is awesome. We communicate with the teachers via email all the time. If a teacher knows you are involved with your student, they will be more likely to take that extra interest in your child. That being said - start taking things away. Start with their most prized position - We removed TV, games and took the cell phone away. It's amazing how quickly they come around. Just follow through. The first time you cave ... they've won.

Michelle - posted on 05/14/2010

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I have the same Problem with my 14 year old !! I write her a note and pin it on her back pack It helps her.

[deleted account]

Sometimes I wonder if it a control thing that they know will annoy you. If you think it is I wouldn't act frustrated, just let her know that she won't have certain priviledges (that you know are important to her like going out with friends, cell phone use or computer time) unless she has a note from the teacher for that week saying things were turned in or maybe you can check on line to verify they were turned in.

Alison - posted on 05/14/2010

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I think it is a common thing cause my 14 year old teacher says the same thing. I try by taking away thing or not giving something that they ask for.

Heather - posted on 05/14/2010

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my 13 year old son has the same issue. I talked to the teacher's and every day he has to write down all his home work and they sign it. forgetting it is always an other issue.

Jeannie - posted on 05/13/2010

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Could it be due to shyness? Maybe distracted by friends or school activities or even the stress of running around a busy school schedule. I remember having to decide btwn having to run to my locker or carry 4 books in my backpack to each classroom, not cool. It wuld be so much easier if homework could be done online or uploaded! :P

Heather - posted on 05/13/2010

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my 15 year old son does the same thing. whenI asked him about it he said that he doesn't pass it in because he doesn't want to. I explained the benefits of passing it in and he didn't care. I tried the punishment approach and that didn't work either cause he informed me that he would not do it anyway cause he doesn't want to. what is up with teens now a days? they are trying to show their independance I think. good luck.

Karen - posted on 05/13/2010

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Thank you so much for bringing this topic up. I was wonderng the same thing. My daughter has been doing this since she was about 11 and is now almost 13. At first we just thought it was that she was distracted, bored, or uninterested...maybe depressed or something was going on at school. Nothing happened and nothing changed for a long time. Now she is in Grade 7 and this year has been ...better..... not anywhere near great, but certainly better. She still doesn't do her homework or assignments until the last minute and sometimes they still are not handed in.. I explained to her that she has to hand in whatever she has done to be graded at all. One problem we have found is that she seems to have trouble organizing her thoughts and ideas and getting them all on paper, and when she is not finished something she doesn't want to hand it in, because it is not complete. What we have done is just let her deal with it, and I haven't heard much from the teachers lately, so I hope this is getting better. I think there are alot of changes in a tween/teens life and it seems to be that it is somewhat normal behaviour.

Susan - posted on 05/13/2010

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I have the same problem with my 11yroldtween.We sit at the tablw do her work with her ,I pack it in her bag,and I get a call from her teacher saying she does not have it.I feel like there is a homework thief or something. I have begun to think she is trying to exercise her control, if she is not happy no one will be.The school is suggesting she has ADD/ADHD.I am lost in this world,Any ideas/advice would be welcome.

Joan - posted on 05/13/2010

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hi

i have a son he is now 23.we went thru the same problems i wish i had a magic answer for you,but i don't.you could always talk to the teacher and ask if you could poss.deliver the work,even though i do believe that she should be responsible for her self.you could also set down the rules and tell her what will happen if she does not turn in her work.you will have to have constant communication with the teacher.make sure you remove the priviledges she enjoys the most first.

good luck

JESSIE - posted on 05/13/2010

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Karen she has a homework folder, i remind her every morning when i drop her off at her school! But it always seems to never get to the teacher! She is passing with all C's but i know it could be better if she just turns in her homework.

Angie - posted on 05/13/2010

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Speak with her teachers and get their ideas. She's old enough to do this on her own now. Don't ask her teachers to call or write you every time she misses an assignment. It's not fair to the teacher and most important, it's not fair to her. She should learn to be responsible for her actions.

Karen - posted on 05/13/2010

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Do she know how it helps toward 10% of her final grade?Give her a homework folder so she can pull her work out with each class. Put a note in her lunch box or tape the reminder to her notebooks.How can she forget? Don't the teacher ask for it?Offer to take her to her favorite restaurant with a friend at the end of the school year if she remembers for now on.

Gloryanne - posted on 05/12/2010

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I've had this happen, also. I made arrangements to coordinate with my son's teachers so that I know what the daily homework is and also if it was turned in. The teachers would send me a daily email if the homework was turned in. If it was not, then privledges are taken away. It really helped and we modified his behavior.

[deleted account]

oh, mines a boy...but I have NO idea...hes in the gifted and talanted class cause hes soooo smart, but he is bordering not passing just cause of not turning in homework....rrrrr

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