How can I hep my teenage daughter get over the heartache of her first love?

Nancy - posted on 10/13/2012

Cheer her up!! I've been there and Ashley now at 16,is aware of how boys

Are. It's normal for him as well being he is young.

Some couples stay together however....

Cheer her up let her know your there for her and she's beautiful

She will (DEFINATELY ) get over it!

2 year relationship I say it'll take her 6-10 mos to recover

100%. To love and experience and learn is a worthy life experience.

It happens, that's why there's sooo many songs we all are familiar with

And feel like """ it's my song"" :-) love hurts and it's beautiful all

At th same time!!

she should let HIM see her out having fun! Encourage her!

Goos Luck

Georgina - posted on 06/21/2012

Hi Jenny, I'm glad that your daughter and you are feeling better about the breakup, but don't be surprised if it takes abit longer for the dust to settle. The same thing happened to my daughter with her first love - it was only 6 months, but very intense and it is so hard to see the boy move on seemingly so easily, particularly when he has been like a part of your family. It took my daughter fully 12 months to really come to terms with being chucked aside like a piece of rubbish after he seemed so in love. In my daughter's situation her and her ex did not speak for months, as she believed he cheated on her, which he still denies. Then they became friends again and he now tells her about his latest love woes. He eventually apologised for hurting her a year and a half later! She now has a new boyfriend and has learned some valuable lessons about life. The boy, on the other hand has had a string of unsuccessful relationships with girls who have cheated on him! At the end of the day, as much as I liked the boy and it hurt my daughter, I am so glad that she did not settle down with her first love! They all need to go off and see the world and have fun before they settle down. Good Luck

Barbara - posted on 05/30/2012

Jenny, I am so happy for your and your daughter. Time is your secret weapon - hahha - she will always have a soft spot in her heart for him - I know I did way back when. I am still in contact with my childhood sweetheart (some 30 years ago) and my heart still skips a beat when I see his name in my inbox. ;) My daughter is moving on (but still has some hope in the back of her mind that when her Marine gets back in 4 months they will get together). She has started "hanging out" (hate that term) with a new guy. He's totally not her type but very sweet. I'm hoping he's not the "one", but if he is - so be it. I will always hope things will work out for her and her Marine. They have that chemistry that everyone wishes for in a relationship - but the war seems to change some of these boys, so we'll see what happens when he gets back. Until then I will try to stop watching FB and not ask any questions, and pray to God it all works out. Jenny I'm glad your stepping back and letting your daughter live her life. Children seem so resilent - something that would take me weeks to get over they seem to get over in a day. Go figure - Life's to short to be miserable. If your not happy with something, change it!!

Patricia - posted on 05/30/2012

I'm glad to hear that things are moving in the right direction for both you and your daughter. I think the hardest part is stepping back - but it's an important step to take. You will both not only survive this, but it will make you stronger (at least I know it has for me when my daughter and I went through this).

Jenny - posted on 05/29/2012

Thank you for all the replies. I wanted to update you that she is doing a little better. She stayed busy with her sports and has a full time job for this summer! Staying busy has really been the key for her to help her move on! She even told me last night she is having fun being single! Today was a little bit of a setback when she had to see him at school but thankfully she only has two days left. Im handling things a little better now and have finally realized I can't take away her pain.... I can only be there as a shoulder to cry on. I've stopped looking at any updates on twitter and Facebook and that has helped me more than anything.... I realized I had to step back for my own sanity! So there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There are some bumps in the road but I know in the long run she will get over this and I will survive this as well!

Patricia - posted on 05/29/2012

I went through this with my daughter as well. Her boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her when we were on vacation to go out with another girl. My daughter was heartbroken and so was I. I couldn't protect her or "kiss her boo boo and make it better" like I could when she was little and it was killing me.
I was there for my daughter to talk if/when she needed. I would take her with me to friends houses to hang out or we'd do mother-daughter things together so that she didn't spend her time moping around the house. Eventually she started to try to move on. She reconnected with old friends and three months later she has a new boyfriend is happier than ever.
I think the only thing you could do is try to encourage your daughter to keep busy and to also try to keep yourself busy. And remember that time does heal all wounds and it will get better.

Barbara - posted on 05/28/2012

Jenny, I know what you are going through. I wondered if it was me or if there were other Moms out there that felt this way. It is difficult for them to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully we, as Moms CAN. I would try to encourage her to spend a lot of time with friends and/or get a job. Give her something to do with their mind. I have been obsessing with my daughter's situation for 2 months now. Sometimes I actually feel sick to my stomach. Thankfully she is working and staying busy - her situation is a little different in that her BFF (what the call each other) is in Afghanistan. When he left they had only known each other 2 months, but had already said I Love You, and cant wait to see you when I get back. Now, it seems the emails and texts are fewer and fewer. And she keeps reminding herself that they never committed to each other - although I know its what she wants. Hang in there and these things will work out - help your daughter stay busy (I'm assuming the situation hasnt changed much since your post was dated 5/14). Feel free to update - It feels good to talk to another adult about this and to know I'm not crazy.

Louise - posted on 05/14/2012

You have to jolly your daughter up and tell her that she should be out there enjoying life not sat at home and mopeing about. She is 17 in the prime of her life. If there is a party then go to it. She needs to rejoin the soical life that most often goes out the window when you are in a long term relationship. Try and get her mates rallying around too. They need to help her get out this doom and gloom. The quicker she starts to get out and about the better. I know you are upset also as he has been part of your life for two years too. You need to change that to negative thoughts and try and see the funny side of things.



help her find some self esteem by getting a new haircut or new clothes and then encourage her to grab life by the horns. Tell her there are better men out there and she is not going to find one around the house. You dont want to turn her into a sex god, but you have to encourage her to socialise. Lets face it the quicker she gets a new boyfriend the quicker she will forget the last!