How can you get a teen to help around the house?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Angie - posted on 05/03/2009

2,621

0

406

For my children, the "payment" for doing chores is food shelter and clothing. Don't do your laundry? Then I guess you'll be running out of clothes soon and Mom isn't going to do it for you. Didn't dump the trash, hmm, that must be why it's sitting inside your doorway. Didn't do the dishes? I hope you like peanut butter because that's all you'll be getting for dinner or I could just wake you up at 5am to do last night's dishes. I only had to do these things once and low and behold, they don't "forget" to get their chores done.

Jennifer - posted on 04/30/2009

4

2

0

I was so tired of hearing my son (13 year old) complain everytime I asked him to help out. So I created a chart that I placed on the fridge; he is expected to do each days chores (Small things like feed the cat, change the litter etc) and if he does these chores without me having to remind him (Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays) then he has no chores on Thursdays and he gets to play video games/watch t.v. later then usual (On Thursday nights). If he fails to complete his chores say Monday, he will have to do a chore on Thursday and he is off the t.v./video games by 8 pm! He goes to his dads on the weekends so I work with him Monday to Friday. If my son is on a good streak (Has completed his chores daily without reminders, for a couple weeks) I will reward him by letting him off chores for the week! This method works for me.
I have never paid my son to do household chores........because no one pays me!

[deleted account]

Hi Margaret! We've been doing our best to raise our kids (one teen, one 9yr old) with the understanding that they are members of a team, and that they are expected to help in certain ways as part of this team. We don't pay allowance, (but we do give our kids opportunities to earn money) because we believe that in the real world, they are going to need to function in group situations, and those skills begin with helping at home. I hope this helps!!! It certainly isn't all easy-going now, and we do need to remind our kids of this lesson-a lot. But they do both know we expect help from them.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

14 Comments

View replies by

Beth - posted on 08/21/2009

2

17

0

honestly, I keep trying various different ways to get my girls to help out more, ages 14 & 11...I have done everything from grounding to taking away computer and cell...it seem to work for a little while till they have what they want then I get to start the battle all over again. This year, I refused to buy new school clothes until they cleaned their rooms. My ex & his Mom went out and bought all new, name brand stuff for the kids...so, I am back to limiting their activities....I have found though, if you follow through, they do tend to take you more seriously the next time you ask for help.. Good luck!

Chris - posted on 08/21/2009

16

7

0

I've started doing the same thing with my daughter. I got tired of smelling everything to try to figure out if it was clean or not-Yuck!!!! lol

Barbara - posted on 08/21/2009

8

7

0

I have a 16 year old. he has trash to do and unload dishes. I have to remind him several times and he goes "I know mom, I will do it stop reminding me" but then at night time I have to remind him again. I stoppedwashing his clothes because he never put them in his basket and I had NO idea what was clean or not since he does not hang up his clothes. Now he either puts them in the laundry room or he does them himself. If not, then he has no clean clothes to wear....

Chris - posted on 08/20/2009

16

7

0

I start by taking away t.v. time, then computer time, hanging out with friends, and the ever important cellphone. I always tell her these things are privileges, not rights. You have to earn the right to have special things, and if you don't help, it's your own fault. Wow! I sound really mean, don't I. But, sometimes you just have to get tough!

Shelly - posted on 05/06/2009

1,605

20

230

Margaret,

Quit doing things for them if they want to go some were tell them no...If they need something from you tell them no...If they can't do for you...you don't do for them...

[deleted account]

SO excited to find some kindred spirits re: kids/teens & chores.

Gives me hope for the future of society!

We all do chores, we are all on the same team.

We are raising contributing member s of society who know how to get off their duff and help out and don't expect to be paid to do every little thing.

Way to go, moms!!!!!

Tara - posted on 05/02/2009

33

7

5

I think every one has given great advice and it has worked for me to stop doing things for them especially the oldest i have even gone so far as to not prepare supper for her she has to do that on her own....I mean she had to with us at the table at dinner time even if she chose not to eat so she made a sandwhich 2 nights in a row the next day she did all her chores with out complaining....good luck

Jennifer - posted on 05/01/2009

5

0

0

Hi, I have a 23 yr old, 16 yr old and 12 yr old and I really can't give you any better advice but to "stick to your guns!" It has been a CONSTANT battle with all three of mine and my best hope is that AFTER ALL MY NAGGING that they will know how to pick up after themselves when they are on their own. It is funny because my 23 yr old will turn the lights off and keep the house clean for her boyfriend but STILL doesn't do it for us here at home when she comes to visit! I mean she STILL won't take her dish from the living room to the kitchen! It's tough to keep after them and I'm certainly not one of those parents who was blessed EVEN ONCE with a "perfect" child. I love them to death but at times I understand why in the wild, moms will eat their young! LOL Not the best advice but at least I hope you know you’re not alone in your battles :) Jen

Heather - posted on 04/30/2009

6

5

0

My son is 14 and he has chores that he does plus whatever else I need done. He gets things taken away if he doesn't do his chores. I take away his phone privaleges or move his curfew up. Good luck.

Debra - posted on 04/30/2009

1

8

0

My daughter has a cell phone prepaid and if she doesn't help me.. her phone bill doesn't get paid.........................she helps. I think taking things away helps more in my house.
that way she already knows if she doesn't do her part. then she doesn't get things that she likes.

Kristina - posted on 04/30/2009

88

40

10

Depending on the age (whether they drive or not) I have told my teen that if she is unable to pull her weight around the house then I don't drive her where she needs to be. I explain to her that if she is unable to help me then I am unable to help her. Hope this helps.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms