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How do others handle frequent visits from teens friends?

Shone - posted on 06/20/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My house appears to be the teen hangout house by default. My work hours decreased so I am working 1-3 days now. My sons friends want to hang out at my house all day. Occasionally it's not a problem.They are all job hunting, playing sports and good kids with ferocious appetites. It is a relief to know where they are and know they are not in trouble but I can not feed the neighborhood, especially now that I work limited hours.
The main issue is that I don't want guests in my home when I am away, my spouse does not reinforce this. I have come home early from work and discovered teens in the house and my spouse has left for work. I politely drove them home and taken away privileges from my son, including no visitors in the home.
Any suggestions?

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4 Comments

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Shawnn - posted on 06/22/2012

3,261

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Oh, I guess I should have mentioned, too... ;-)

I am called "drill sergeant" by my kids...LOL...When we have newcomers to our home, I tell them, and their parents what the house rules are, and that, if the kids become regulars, I will expect them to follow the same rules as my own children. These are to pick up after yourselves, if you get it out, put it away, if you dig up the yard, fill it in, and if you make a mess, you clean it.

Then, I let both kids and parents know that after 2 warnings, I'll ask the kid not to return until they can respect the house rules. I've only ever had to turn two kids out, and both were back with apologies within the week. As they've gotten older, the food hasn't been much of an issue, as they tend to run out now for snacks on their own, rather than eating my pantry empty...

Shone - posted on 06/21/2012

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Thanks for the response.
For whatever reason, some of the kids are not cleaning up their mess. This had not been a problem until recently. Also, a couple of them would stay here around the clock if we allowed it. I have girls and this is not fair to the girls.

I recently had the kids bring money for snacks and I would take them to get burgers or whatever they had money for. I can no longer afford frequent snacks for them now, due to my pay decrease. Unfortunately, only a couple of parents reciprocate in having the kids at their home.

There have been discussions with the boys about the rule of no company in the house when we are away. Privileges were removed when this was not followed. We will keep working on this

Kristin - posted on 06/21/2012

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If you dont want teens in your house when your not home you need to explain this to your son. I agree with Shawnn though that my door is always open and as long as my son and his friends are respectful and not creating a mess i have no problem with kids being there, even if i am not home. As for food concerns, if they are eating more than you want them to than do what my a mother of my sons friend did. She charge a 5 to 10 dollar eating fee for each kid that ate there. My son and his friends arte pretty respectful and they all eat at each others houses so to me it all balances out in the end and I dont really worry about how much they eat.

Shawnn - posted on 06/21/2012

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Well, your house is your house.

In my house, this is never a problem. Any kid is welcome, any time, for any reason. And I never tell them to go home, either.

I love having the kids around! My husband (who's the stay home) loves having them around. None have ever caused problems, and I guess I see the eating as part of being a teen. My kid eats when he's at their house, so I don't mind them eating at mine.

So, if you're uncomfortable with your kid's friends hanging out, you need to sit your family down and firmly explain it, and stick to it. But, seriously, I, personally would not have a problem with being the kid house.

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