how do u get your daughter to trust again after a broken heart

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Mona - posted on 07/08/2009

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Before my boys had "serious" relationships, I reminded them that whoever they "love" at this early age is more than likely not the person they will marry. I didn't even know my husband until after I graduated. I told them to have fun while it lasts as you always remember your first "love". When my oldest told me he and his girlfriend loved eachother I told him I was happy for him and then reminded him of the above. When their relationship ended I hugged him and we talked. I told him not to get stalker crazy or hurting-yourself-depressed. I didn't want him to be alone - your mind can make you do crazy things when it has time to think. I told him it was ok to cry, to feel sad. I told him to hang out with his close friends who would him him get things back to normal.
Eventually I saw him smile and laugh again. When he started talking about other girls I knew he was going to be ok.
What I didn't do was tell him to get over it or belittle his feelings. I know it was puppy love but I never told him that. I wanted him to have a safe place to share his feelings without someone mocking or telling him to get over it.
I also told the rest of the family to lay off him for awhile : )

Marlène - posted on 07/07/2009

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It depends also how her heart was broken. Help your daughter voice out what's hidden by the pain : ashamed to have believed a liar, angry not to have trust in her guts, etc... Because most of the times, much a broken heart's pains come from the feeling that you have been used by the other and that leads you to loose your self-esteem. When you know what's undermining her self-esteem (shame, anger for herself) you will definitly be more able to help her sooth her pain and move further.

Shelly - posted on 07/07/2009

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Donna,

Do you not remember having your heart broken as a teen??? She will get over it with time. There will be another biy that comes along that will turn her head and she will move on, yes it might take a little while but she will be ok!!! Just like all of use having to deal with that teenage puppy love and then the heart break that goes along with that!!! Just be there for her and let her know that you are available to talk when ever she wants...Good Luck and just remember this to shall pass!!!

Tara - posted on 07/06/2009

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the same way you'd teach yourself... that its so hard to go through, but we've all been there. Tell her that you understand how much she's hurting (or if you don't, let her talk with an aunt, gramma or someone who can relate). Keep her busy and focused on things other than her pain. Eventually, time will heal her wounds. It always healed mine anyway!

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