How do you deal on your 17 year old boy,who told you are the only mother he knows that is freakin

Patrocenio - posted on 12/04/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My 17 year old boy was shouting back at me just because i am reorimanding about a broken pair of eyeglasses,so expensive for us to buy but upon his constant begging we let him have it on the condition that he will take good care of it and will put it always in a safe place...He shouted back..You are the only mother I know ...to words that suggest he doesnt like me or i am a bad mother...

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Patrocenio - posted on 12/07/2009

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thank you...you make sense and no...my son does not have a job yet..in our place, parents will be sued abuse of minor if you will let them work or have a job before he gets 18...

Toni - posted on 12/06/2009

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As a mother of a 19 yr old and 11 yr old son, simply do this - "Shut up, go to your room and if you yell at me again a pair of broken glasses won't be the only thing broke around here." and if he wants another pair of glasses he can work, do chores to earn the money. I really hope you are not worried about what your 17 yr old son thinks of you. He needs to grow up and get a job and quit whining. Good luck and god bless

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my son told me once that he HATED me because I wouldn't allow him to do something and I yelled back, right in his face, "GOOD, THEN I'M DOING JOB RIGHT!" You gave him a chance at having a really nice pair of glasses. He can just pony up to buy the next pair, that's what responsible people do. And if he can't be responsible enough to take care of his things, then he can just be freakin' horrified to have to wear a really UGLY cheap pair! Yes, kids stomp on our livers & bladders before they are born and then they walk all over our hearts the rest of their lives. In 5-6 years, when he's grown, he WILL like you and probably thank you for taking a hard line on him when he needed it. being a "bad mother" means giving them everything they want, whenever they want it - let him "hate" you now and just remember that you ARE NOT a bad mother..

Jamie - posted on 12/05/2009

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I have 3 teen daughters and I hear this stuff often, and I ignore it and stick with what i'm saying or doing. It has nothing to do with you, it's the age their at and a disrespectful mentality... seems popular these days with many teens, mine included. Sometimes teens can bully parents just like teens can bully other kids, if they see that what they say or do hurts/gets to you, they will sometimes continue to do it, so blow him off and dont let anything show, he'll move on. I took my kids to a therapist thinking something was wrong with them, and was told "Welcome to the teen years!"

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This is one of the oldest tricks in the book - comparing you to other moms in a way that makes you look like a bad guy. My favorite reply is "Oh, I'm so sorry that you got stuck with me for a mother." They were never ready to say that they wanted a different mother. So that ended their whining. Does your son have a job? If he does, he should pay for the glasses or pay you back if you pay for them. If he doesn't have a job, I would tell him that he had better get one.

Valerie - posted on 12/04/2009

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it is the oldest line i the book; all the moms are freakin; offer to call the other moms of his choice for advice if he doesn't like yours; be prepared for the look of horror at the thought of you calling his friends moms lol...it is ok and right and your responsibility to teach and expect him to use responsibility and respect for property

Kim - posted on 12/04/2009

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Quoting patrocenio:

How do you deal on your 17 year old boy,who told you are the only mother he knows that is freakin

My 17 year old boy was shouting back at me just because i am reorimanding about a broken pair of eyeglasses,so expensive for us to buy but upon his constant begging we let him have it on the condition that he will take good care of it and will put it always in a safe place...He shouted back..You are the only mother I know ...to words that suggest he doesnt like me or i am a bad mother...


Hey girl!!!  Keep ur head up & pray that that's the worst he'll ever say 2 u!!!  Anyway, in SC we have a place called AMERICA'S BEST (eyeglass place)  2 pair glasses 4 $69--  check & see if there is 1 near u!!!

Valorie - posted on 12/04/2009

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Calmly tell him that you will not be yelled at by one of your children. When he is calmed down let him know that he will be paying to replace the glasses (assuming they are necessary) if he doesn't he will get the cheapest pair available. And last but not least, let him know that there are plenty of mothers out there that are truely "bad" mothers and be thankful he doesn't have one. If he needs an example pick up the book "A Boy called It"

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